Strange Things are Afoot at the Circle K.: Mr. Nice Guy

Friday, November 05, 2004

Mr. Nice Guy

I've really realised something in the last week or so. Actually, it's something I've always known, but I've only recently realised how much of a problem it is, and that I'd really probably be better off if I did something about it. To put it simply, I need to be more aggressive.

I'm not talking about fighting, or anything like that, perhaps a better word would be "assertive." Just like that Spongebob episode. I need to be more assertive, I let people walk all over me for the most part. I've gotten a little better in recent years, but not much. I used to have a real problem saying no to people. If you asked me to do something for you, chances are good I'd do it for you, no matter how much I didn't want to, or how much it would inconvenience me. I've gotten a lot better at that, now I say no all the time. Almost too much.

The main place I need to be more aggressive is with women. I take the "nice guy" concept to it's extreme. Like I have never in my life just like grabbed a girl's ass, or anything like that. I've never put the moves on anyone. My philosophy when it comes to women has always been, "Let them make the first move." I'll barely look at a woman without her permission. And yes, I ask permission to do things. It's pathetic really. I think that was the main problem with Kristina, was I was just too, well, nice, for her. Even when I know the girl would want me to do something, I still usually don't, just in case there's been a misunderstanding or something. I can also be really naive when it comes to sexual situations or similar things. For example, me and Kristina would be out driving back from the movies or something, and she'd be hinting, quite heavily, that she wanted to go park and have sex, and half the time I wouldn't even realize it, and I'd just keep driving around holding her hand like and idiot. Or even if I did realize it, I'd just be so nervous or something, I'd act like I didn't know what she was getting at.

I need to be much more aggressive when it comes to women. I need to make the first move, and take control occasionally.

It's no wonder everyone always thinks I am gay, even most of the girls. I don't flirt or hit on girls or anything. I'll barely even talk to them until I get to know them better.

I'm sure it would be good for my self esteem and stuff too. Even if I got slapped a couple of times. At least I'd probably feel more like a man. I'm not one of these "women trapped in a man's body," but I've always been able to understand women better than I understand other men. I can be fairly emotional, and I understand what women are thinking and feeling better than most men, I think. There's times in life I've felt more like I was the woman in the situation. I'm the kind of person who'll sit next to the phone wondering, "Why doesn't she call?" That's something women are supposed to do, not men.

And now that I've thoroughly embarrassed myself, I think I'm ending this post now.