Strange Things are Afoot at the Circle K.: February 2006

Tuesday, February 28, 2006

Who's Reading Your Cell's Text Messages?

Who's Reading Your Cell's Text Messages?

"Have you ever hit "Send" on a text message on your mobile phone before addressing it? Ever wondered where all those lost SMS text messages go? If so, you might want to speak with Stan Bubrouski, whose cell phone has been channeling wayward text messages from across the country for years."

Saturday, February 25, 2006

Early beaver-like mammal swam with the dinosaurs - Yahoo! News

Early beaver-like mammal swam with the dinosaurs - Yahoo! News

"Thomas Martin of the Forschungsinstitut Senckenberg in Frankfurt, Germany, said the finding showed mammals had conquered the water 100 million years earlier than anyone thought."

Friday, February 24, 2006

(The comments were already in this in the place where I found it, they are not mine)

1. Only in America......can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.

2. Only in America......are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink.

3. Only in America......do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while
healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

4. Only in America......do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.

5. Only in America......do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.

6. Only in America......do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.

7. Only in America......do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.

8. Only in America......do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.

9. Only in America......do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'.

10. Only in America......do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.

11. Only in America......can u be born a poor black man and grow up to be a rich white woman.

EVER WONDER????

Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?

Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?

Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?

Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?

Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?

Why is it that to stop Windows, you have to click on "Start"?

Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid is made with real lemons?

Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?

Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?

When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it?

Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?

Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?

You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes?
Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?

Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?

Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?

If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of
progress?

If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?

~~~~

On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap."
(and that would be how??...)

On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost."
(but, it's "just" a suggestion.)

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down."
(well...duh, a bit late, huh!)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after
heating."
(...and you thought????...)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on
body."
(but wouldn't this save me more time?)

On Boot's Children Cough Medicine:"Do not drive a car or
operate machinery after taking this medication."

(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)

On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness."
(and... I'm taking this because???....)

On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use
only."
(as opposed to...what?)

On Sunsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts."
(talk about a news flash)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."
(Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)

On a Swedish chainsaw:"Do not attempt to stop chain with your
hands or genitals."
(..was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)

Wednesday, February 22, 2006

"Chuck Norris was the fourth Wiseman. He brought baby Jesus the gift of "beard". Jesus wore it proudly to his dying day. The other Wisemen, jealous of Jesus' obvious gift favoritism, used their combined influence to have Chuck omitted from the Bible. Shortly after all three died of roundhouse kick related deaths."

Odd News Stories

Would-be rock star plunges from bed to death - Yahoo! News

Man charged in killing over toilet paper - Yahoo! News

San Francisco to test turning dog waste into power - Yahoo! News

Lonely deaths of elderly shock nation - Yahoo! News

Retired couples told cruise may sink marriage - Yahoo! News

How to get disqualified without really trying - Yahoo! News

Tuesday, February 21, 2006

This is ridiculous!

Vatican Decree Is Costing Publishing World - Yahoo! News

Scientists say California quake could cause Katrina II - Yahoo! News

Scientists say California quake could cause Katrina II - Yahoo! News

"The probability of a catastrophic levee failure in the Sacramento-San Joaquin Delta in the next 50 years is two in three," Mount said on the sidelines of the American Association for the Advancement of Science (AAAS) annual conference.

Mount said it could have a similar impact to the Asian tsunami in 2004.

Monday, February 20, 2006

So much for the "Axe Effect."

From a news article about aphrodisiacs:

THE MYTH: Many spices and scents get a reputation for turning on the love hose, but licorice seems to trace back farther than most — to ancient China and to India, where it can be found in Kama Sutra preparations.

Recently, studies have claimed men were aroused by the smell of licorice and women by a combination of cucumber and Good & Plenty, a licorice-like candy.

THE REALITY: Those reports stem from research by Alan Hirsch, M.D., director of the Chicago-based Smell and Taste Treatment and Research Foundation. Hirsch exposed Chicago-area men and women to various scents, and measured penile and vaginal blood flow as a signal of sexual arousal.

Among men, black licorice increased blood flow 13 percent; when combined with the smell of doughnuts, it jumped to 32 percent. A mix of lavender and pumpkin pie scored 40 percent, compared to just 3 percent for perfume.

While women were apparently aroused by the candy-cucumber mix, cherries actually decreased blood flow, as did the smells of barbecued meat and mens' cologne. (Sorry, guys.)

Wednesday, February 15, 2006

Forgive me, Father, for I have guns... - Yahoo! News

Forgive me, Father, for I have guns... - Yahoo! News

Wednesday, February 08, 2006

Two news stories about exciting developments with eyesight improvement.

Wired News: Super Vision Sans Bionics

Wired News: Sharper Image, Better Performance

Slashdot | A Bathroom That Cleans Itself

Slashdot | A Bathroom That Cleans Itself

Wow! I was just saying in a chatroom a couple of days ago, "They can make a self-cleaning oven, why can't they make a self-cleaning toilet?"

Sunday, February 05, 2006

Invisible Library

Invisible Library:

"The Invisible Library is a collection of books that only appear in other books. Within the library's catalog you will find imaginary books, pseudobiblia, artifictions, fabled tomes, libris phantastica, and all manner of books unwritten, unread, unpublished, and unfound."

This is pretty cool, especially since I read lots of books that reference made up books.

Rails missing; it's hard to keep track... - Yahoo! News

Rails missing; it's hard to keep track... - Yahoo! News

Thieves have stolen 3 miles of railroad track near a German town.

Groundhog Day and Punxsutawney Phil - History, Photos, & Links

Everything you ever wanted to know about Groundhog Day

Who else thinks it's hilarious that the place is called "Gobbler's Knob?"

CNN.com - Environmental group contends car interiors pose toxic risk - Jan 31, 2006

CNN.com - "New Car Smell" is Toxic, Group Claims - Jan 31, 2006

I heard this a couple of years ago. I wonder why they're acting like it's a new discovery?

Whale soul for sale -- one tragic owner - Yahoo! News

Whale soul for sale -- one tragic owner - Yahoo! News

What the fuck is wrong with people? And I don't just mean the person trying to sell the soul, but also to fact that someone bought the damn watering can for almost $4000.

Saturday, February 04, 2006

I've never understood what's supposed to be fun about getting drunk. What's fun about slurring and stumbling and acting like an idiot? Or, even worse, falling down, vomiting, and passing out?

I guess part of the problem for me, is that I just have no tolerance for alcohol. I'm completely drunk after 3 or 4 beers. And being drunk is uncomfortable or painful for me. My face gets almost painfully warm after just two beers, and then I start getting a really bad headache. I'm usually in too much pain to get any enjoyment from being drunk.

That doesn't stop me from getting drunk occasionally, usually when I'm depressed. Which is a bad idea, because pretty much every time I get drunk, I get depressed, whether I was depressed before I started or not. Pretty much every time I get drunk, I end up punching brick walls, or at least fighting the urge to punch things and freak out. Especially if I'm in a party situation where there's more than two or three people around. Because I can't handle the social interaction, and I get pissed off. Pissed off at myself for not being able to be social, and pissed off at the other people because they can, and pissed off at God for making me be this way. If there is a God. Pretty much the only time I believe in God is when I want to blame Him for something. Or, when I'm really depressed, to cry and beg him to make me better, to make whatever is wrong in my brain go away, so that I can live like a normal person.

That's all I want in life, is to be able to live like a normal person.

I've been really bad again lately. I need to have the doctor write me a prescription for more Lexapro or something, and start taking that again. I wonder if they even still make Lexapro? I checked some of those online pharmacies, to see if I could get it cheaper from Canada or something, but none of them I've looked at have it. They have five or six other antidepressants and anti-anxiety medications, but not that one.

I've been really bad lately, probably worse than I've ever been. Except for work, I've hardly left the apartment in close to two months. I keep not going to the store until I'm completely out of stuff to eat and HAVE to go. Until a couple of days ago, I hadn't even taken my trash out in weeks. I could barely even get into my kitchen for all the piles of trash everywhere and on every available counter space. Because along with the social anxiety, this time I seem to have developed a tremendous apathy. I just sit here at the computer every minute of the day, when I'm not at work. A week or so ago, I spent my day off sitting here at the computer, barely moving from the chair, for 14 hours. I just can't make myself do anything, even simple stuff, like pick up something that falls on the floor. I'm like "Oh, I'll pick that up later, maybe," and then it lays there for a week.

I'm a little better this last week, especially on the apathy thing. The other day I actually left the house and did some shopping. Then I just drove around town for awhile. It's been a long time since I did that, just cruised around town listening to music. There's parts of this town I hadn't seen in years. And it's a tiny town. Then I came home and cleaned up all the trash. Two and a half trashbags full. Then I cleaned the rat's cage.

Well, this post has already ended up being really long, so I guess I should just go all out and finally write about all the stuff that has happened since I last wrote a real post. Which was October.

On like the second or third or November, I joined a gym. I decided to finally get off my ass and join a gym, so I could get in shape enough so that I could finally realize my dream of taking a Karate class. I actually went to the gym too, almost every day. In fact, I went too much at first, and after a couple of weeks, I had to cut down and only go every other day at the most. By New Years I had lost 20 pounds and several inches, and was looking the best I've looked in my life. But now I've gained all of it back probably. I haven't weighed in weeks, but I bet I weight at least as much as I weighed before I started the diet, if not more. Around mid-December, I got really sick for about a month, and just never felt like going, so I got out of the habit of going. So then even after I got better, I just hardly ever went, and then now for the last month or so, as I've said, my social anxiety thing was too bad for me to go. Also, these last few weeks I've been eating tremendous amounts. Most of the weight I've gained back has been in probably the last two or three weeks.

Also, when I was going to the gym, and losing all that weight, it made me feel better, mentally as well as physically, I was actually enjoying being out around people, and almost had the confidence to have talked to women, but I didn't. It wasn't until I stopped going for a month or two, that my problem came back with a vengeance.

Christmas was pretty good. I got a really nice Digital Camera, I found it in a store later, and found out it costs almost $350. It's a Nikon Coolpix L1. 6.2 megapixels, 5x Optical Zoom, and takes video, as well as still pictures. I've wanted a decent digital camera for a long time now, but this one is too nice. It's too expensive, I'm afraid to leave the house with it. What I really want is like a cell phone with a built-in camera or something, or just some fairly cheap, but decent camera, so I can just carry it around with me at pretty much all times so I can take pictures of anything I see that I want to take a picture of.

That's pretty much all that's happened to me recently. Work has been the same as usual. It sucks. It's better than it was, because Dale got fired a few months ago. I can't remember if I ever wrote about that or not. A couple of other guys have worked there over the last few months, but they've all been fired now too. So now it's just me and my aunt Valorie, and, two days a week, the old man, Gene. He's in his 70s, and retired, but he works there and Ben just pays him cash under the table. He's a pretty good worker, he's worked there for a few years, but in November he went into the hospital for prostate cancer surgery, and had a mild heart attack during it, and was gone for almost a month, and since he came back seems to be showing his age now or something. In the mind, I mean. He is annoying to work with now. He messes things up and does things wrong a lot, and then I have to fix them.

Oklahoma has sucked the last couple of months. More than usual I mean. Half the state has burned down. We finally got a little rain the other day, but it was only between .5 and 1 inch for most of the state, so it did nothing to help the dryness. Until then, it had been like 120 days since some parts of the state got any amount of rainfall over a quarter of an inch. You can throw a cigarette out the car window, and the grass just bursts into flames. Dozens of people's houses have burned down, and like thousands of acres have burned. About a month ago, in one day alone, there were 34 new fires.

Speaking of houses burning down, Jared sent me his new phone number a couple of days ago, and said for me to call him. His house burned down a few months ago, and I hadn't really heard from him since. I really should call him, but I'm just so lazy and apathetic. I'm a bastard. I'll call him later today.

Friday, February 03, 2006

The best explanation for why I am the way I am. From an unquoted source.

"It is not difficult to understand how children who have suffered from malnutrition or starvation need food and plenty of care if their bodies are to recover so they can go on to lead normal lives. If, however, the starvation is severe enough, the damage will be permanent and they will suffer physical impairments for the rest of their lives. Likewise, children who are deprived of emotional nurturing require care and love if their sense of security and self-confidence is to be restored. However, if love is minimal, and abuse high, the damage will be permanent and the children will suffer emotional impairments for the rest of their lives."