The sunlight... it BURNS!
I really need to get out of the house more. I was doing great there for a while, leaving, and going places, and actually enjoying being out in public, but ever since I started this new job, I've hardly left the house. It's not shyness or anything again really, it's just laziness. I don't feel like doing shit on my days off now. I hardly even go shopping anymore. I haven't had any milk or bagels in probably close to two months. I don't buy milk at the stores where I buy all my other groceries. I buy it at Braums, because it's the cheapest place around here on milk, and I just haven't felt like making the trip to an extra store just to get some milk and bagels. Even if I'm out already, and doing all my other shopping, I just don't feel like going to any more stores than I have to. I hardly even leave the house on my days off, I just sit here at the computer, or watching a DVD or something all day.
One reason I hate to leave my apartment now is all the idiots that are always outside it. Over the last month or so, every apartment in the building I'm in (the apartment complex is made up of several buildings, each with 8 apartments) has become inhabited by a bunch of young idiots that all know each other, and so hang out around the staircase right outside my door all day and night being loud and drinking, and hooting and hollering, while their kids are tied up on fucking leashes so they don't have to worry about them running off while they're sitting there making complete asses of themselves. They are all probably around 18 to 20. Several guys, bt mostly girls. The only good thing about the situation is that the girls are often out there in bikinis, because they've been swimming in the pool. And one of them always says hi to me, and tried to have a conversation with me once, because we used to work together. They're all like 20 year-old single mothers. The guys are complete asses too. One of them kept banging against the wall of my apartment with a hard-hat yesterday. I have no fucking idea why he had a hard-hat, or why he was banging on my wall with it, over and over again. I kept looking out the window at him, and he'd stop for a few minutes, then start again. And some of them have "written" on my air conditioner, which is not good for it. You know how on the outside of those old window units, they have the metal mesh-like thing, that bends really easily, and you can just take your finger and like write in it? That's what they've done. I can't tell what it's supposed to say though.
They're all out there right now, I can hear them. They were there when I came home from work four hours ago, and they've been there the whole time. It's like that every day. I want to ask them, "What's the point in paying rent on an apartment if you're never going to actually go in it?"
And then I'll kill them, with that shopping cart that someone has left out in the parking lot.