Strange Things are Afoot at the Circle K.: September 2004

Thursday, September 30, 2004

Court: Don't Drive Drunk on Frozen Lakes

Court: Don't Drive Drunk on Frozen Lakes

Victory Again!

House Defeats Gay Marriage Ban Amendment

Experts Predict Mount St. Helens Eruption

Experts Predict Mount St. Helens Eruption

New Catholic Times: Pope fears Bush is antichrist, journalist contends

New Catholic Times: Pope fears Bush is antichrist, journalist contends

The 213 Things Skippy is No Longer Allowed to Do in the U.S. Army

The 213 Things Skippy is No Longer Allowed to Do in the U.S. Army

I've posted this before, but it's just so funny, I had to do it again. Seriously, this is quite possibly the funniest thing I've ever read.

In Japan, Women Can Doze With Man Pillow

In Japan, Women Can Doze With Man Pillow

Wednesday, September 29, 2004

Victory! Excuse me while I dance...

Judge Blocks U.S. From Secret Searches

"NEW YORK - Declaring that personal security is as important as national security, a judge Wednesday blocked the government from conducting secret, unchallengeable searches of Internet and telephone records as part of its fight against terrorism.

"The American Civil Liberties Union called the ruling a "landmark victory" against the Justice Department's post-Sept. 11 law enforcement powers.

"'Today's ruling is a wholesale refutation of excessive government secrecy and unchecked executive power,' said ACLU attorney Jameel Jaffer..."

Weaker Jack Daniel's Gets Sober Reception

Weaker Jack Daniel's Gets Sober Reception

"NASHVILLE, Tenn. - If you've noticed that your Jack Daniel's is carrying a little less kick these days, you're probably right. The famed "sippin' whiskey," which advertises a recipe traced back to the nation's first registered distillery, has lowered the alcohol content of its flagship brand, Old No.7 Black Label..."

What gets me is the big deal people are making about it. It's only a three percent difference, it's not that big of a deal. Get a life, you drunks.

Oh yeah...

I forgot to mention it earlier, but I got a haircut today. I had them cut it a little shorter than usual. It's probably the shortest haircut I've ever had. It looks really good though. It's short enough it stands up, but barely. It's maybe an inch and a half to two inches long on top. Lately I've been considering getting it cut really short, like a military haircut. I've even thought of just shaving it and letting it grow back in, I'd kinda like to see what I'd look like with a shaved head and then really short hair. But for now I just got it shorter than usual to see how I like it. I like it. My parents said it looks really good too. My hair was really long, the longest it's been in a few years. A few years ago, around the time I went to college, I kept letting it get really long, like shoulder length, before I'd have it cut. I really like long hair, but it just doesn't look good on me. And it makes my head and face look fatter. I have a strong jawline and chin, and when I have short hair it stands out more, but when I have long hair my face looks fat for some reason.

I was off today, and I'm off tomorrow. I'm really glad. That also means I can spend the day playing Prince of Persia, the game I rented when I took back Silent Hill 4.

I'm a loser. Last night I got drunk and watched The Rocky Horror Picture Show. By myself.

Bad Blogs

I found some really bad blogs today. First is the Most Annoying Blog Ever. It's a teenage girl who writes like she's sending text messages or something. She abbreviates lots of stuff, like "school" is "sch." Also, for some reason she ends words that should in in "ay" with "ae."

LiFE...

This first post from her blog is just annoying:
yop! short dae todae! hehe.. after sch was discussion.. then met mum at ntuc for grocery shopping... heh.. now got milk, yoghurt, fruits and fruit juices in my fridge! yes.. those are my indulgence... lalalala... oh.. got wasabi peas from 'tong garden', must rem to bring to sch to share.. me frens like it... wahahha.. it's yummy.. yes, i like food... :p well.. happy...
This second post verges on being unreadable:
bloop bloop bloop... i am a happy girl! borrowed fren's 6600.. very fun! contemplation.. wahahha... very happy! tata...
The second in the Bad Blogs showcase is the Most Boring Blog Ever. I don't even need to give any examples on this one, its name says it all.

Life Insurance Forum

The first blog makes me want to kill people. Speaking of killing people, I went back on my Lexapro today. Not because the doctor told me too or anything, but when he took me off of it, I still had five refills left, so I got one today. I've been off of it since May, and I was doing pretty good, until about the last month or so. I'm still not having much of a social phobia problem, but I'm getting depressed again. Yesterday I was really depressed the entire day. I was so depressed yesterday, it was one off those times where I'm so depressed that my chest hurts. I wonder if that happens to anybody else? When I get really depressed that happens to me. Like usual, the main thing I've been getting depressed about lately is my lack of a sex life.

I mean it, I really need a girlfriend. It's not just depressing anymore, it's actually starting to have a negative effect on my mental state I think. For example, my fantasies are just getting weirder and weirder. Dangerously weird. If people knew the kinds of things I think about anymore, I'd probably be locked away. No probably about it, I know I would be.

Silent Hill 4: The Room

I signed up for a Movie Gallery membership, so here comes something that will probably become a semi-regular feature, video game, and occasionally, movie, reviews. The movies will mostly be older movies that most people will probably have already seen, or at least heard about though. Still, for some it may be useful, and for most it will probably be a welcome change from the constant news story links.

Ok, so first video game review:
Silent Hill 4: The Room
Konami
Release Date: 9/7/2004
Genre: Survival/Horror
ESRB Rating: M (Mature)
For PS2 and XBox, version reviewed is the XBox version.

(Out of 5 possible)
Graphics: 5
Sound: 5
Story: 5
Play Control: 2
Overall: 4.25


Silent Hill 4 is the latest game in the Silent Hill series. Now, let me say that this is not a game I would normally want to play, and in fact, the only reason I even rented it is because all the games I wanted were checked out. But Chris loves the Silent Hill series, and had been eagerly awaiting this new installment, so I decided to check it out.

The Silent Hill series is widely considered to be the scariest games ever made, and I see why. Most things like this don't scare me, I think horror movies are funny, but this game scared the shit out of me even before I started playing it. When you first pop the game in there's this really cool video of scenes from the game set to freaky music and sound effects, including an incredibly cool creepy lullaby. The whole video kinda reminded me of the video tape from the movie The Ring, in a way. But in this demo, it keeps showing the main character getting attacked by these creepy enemies that walk on their arms, since they have no legs, and they have two baby-doll heads. And they make scary baby-doll noises. This scared the shit out of me, as I find dolls to be really creepy anyway. This game scared me so much, I could barely go to bed that night, especially since the game is about an apartment, and I live in an apartment.

In this game, you play Harry Townshend, who finds himself trapped in his apartment. Five days ago, he started having these weird nightmares, or at least he thinks they're nightmares, and at the same time, he found that he was trapped. None of his windows will open, and the door has been covered with bolts and chains and locks. From the inside. What's even weirder is that it seems no one can hear you when you scream or bang on the walls. You can see people out the peephole on the door, but they can't hear you. Also, the power to the TV and VCR has stopped working, though everything else has power. Also your phone doesn't work, in fact, the cord has been cut, but that doesn't stop you from getting creepy phone calls on it, and occasionally dialing out, only to hear scary noises when the other end picks up. Your trapped in your apartment, but suddenly, holes and portals start appearing in the walls, that take you to alternate versions of other places, populated by ghosts, zombies, and even freakier creatures. Places such as the subway line that runs by your apartment, where you meet some woman that is trapped in the strange, alternate dimension subway.

The graphics and sound quality on this game are incredible, most of the time it looks like real video, and the sounds are very scary. Unfortunately, the game has one major drawback: the play control. In fact, I'm not the best person to review this game, as I only got about an hour into it. I kept trying to play it more, but I just couldn't, the play control was so awful it drove me nuts. The main problem is the camera when in third person mode. Parts of the game, such as when you are in your apartment, are in first person, and the game is great then, but the action parts are in third person, and that's where it all falls apart. The camera does not move when you turn, and you keep having to press the button to bring the camera back around behind you. That wouldn't be too bad, but many of the rooms and corridors you are in are too small for the camera to get around behind you, so you end up looking at yourself from an overhead frontal view, or worse. Often times there would be enemies all around me, but I couldn't even see them to fight them.

Also, this is just not the kind of game I like to play. I'm afraid to do anything, because I know a zombie or something will jump out around every corner. Though actually, most of the time they don't. I was about an hour into the game before there even starts to really be any enemies, but as soon as there is, the game becomes unplayable, because of the camera, and the fact that most of the enemies are too hard, and won't die. They just keep getting back up. Which may be my fault actually, I may not know how to kill them, because Movie Gallery does not give you the instruction booklet when you rent the game. It took me almost an hour before I found out I could run.

From what I saw of the game, and what I've read in other reviews, Silent Hill 4 has a fantastic story. That was the main thing that got me to keep trying to play the game, I wanted to find out what would happen next. So, in spite of it all, I recommend this game, but I hope you have better luck with the controls than I did.

Tech News

Lots of exciting Tech News today. Exciting to me anyway. I get really excited about these really big advances that mean the future portrayed in science fiction is a step closer. It looks like we took several steps toward the future this past week or two.

IBM supercomputer sets world speed record

Slowing the speed of light to improve networking

Simpsons swallowed whole by DVD of the future

Teacher Investigated for Phony Test

Teacher Investigated for Phony Test

"Officials say a tenth-grade geometry teacher at Oxon Hill High School administered what is being called a "fake math proficiency test." It contained math word problems beginning with phrases like "Jose has two ounces of cocaine," "Willie gets $200 for a stolen BMW," and "Raul gets six years for murder."...

Tuesday, September 28, 2004

Customer service--a four-letter word?

Customer service--a four-letter word?

Broadband services provider NTL Group is reeling from an embarrassing incident in which callers to its customer service help line heard a profanity-laced voice message.

The British company is attributing the message that replaced its usual recorded greeting to a malicious hacker or a disgruntled employee, according to published reports.

The message in full, which contained a flurry of four-letter words, said: "Hello. You are through to NTL customer services. We don't give a f*** about you. We are never here. We will f*** you about, basically, and we are not going to handle any of your complaints. Just f*** off and leave us alone. Get a life."...

Crawford, Texas, Newspaper Endorses Kerry

Crawford, Texas, Newspaper Endorses Kerry

"CRAWFORD, Texas - A tiny weekly newspaper that bills itself as President Bush's hometown paper has endorsed John Kerry for president, saying the Massachusetts senator will restore American dignity..."

Calif. Bill Bans Paperless Voting Systems

Calif. Bill Bans Paperless Voting Systems

"SAN FRANCISCO - Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger signed a law requiring that all electronic voting machines produce paper records of every ballot cast, beginning in 2006..."

Notice that it doesn't go into effect until 2006, well after the upcoming election. Wouldn't want Bush to not be able to steal this election too.

I saw the greatest bumper sticker the other day, and I wish I knew where to get one. It said "Re-defeat Bush in 2004."

Monday, September 27, 2004

One or Two Quakes a Minute in Washington

One or Two Quakes a Minute in Washington

"SEATTLE - Small earthquakes rattled Mount St. Helens at the rate of one or two a minute Monday, and seismologists were working to determine the significance of some of the most intense seismic activity in nearly 20 years...

...Sunday's activity was the most in a 24-hour period since the 1986 eruption, said survey geologist Willie Scott. Earthquake swarms in 1998 and 2001 did not result in any surface activity."

Wow, but what really interests me is something I noticed myself, something not mentioned in the story. The volcano seems to be running on some kind of three-year cycle:

1980: The last major Mt. St. Helens eruption which "killed 57 people, leveled hundreds of square miles of forests and dumped volcanic ash across the Northwest."
1983: Nothing. At least nothing mentioned in the story anyway. I'd like to see if there was anything happening with the volcano in ths year.
1986: "...the mountain's last lava-dome-building eruption occurred"
1989: Nothing Mentioned.
1992: Ditto.
1995: Ditto.
1998: Earthquake swarm like the one that's happening now.
2001: Another earthquake swarm.
And now, 2004: It's happening again.

Wow!

Conan to Take Over 'Tonight' in Five Years

"NEW YORK - NBC announced Monday that Conan O'Brien will take over from Jay Leno as host of the 'Tonight' show. But he'll have time to write his jokes - the planned succession won't happen until 2009..."

Sunday, September 26, 2004

Game puts players in Kerry's boat

Game puts players in Kerry's boat

Friday, September 24, 2004

Officials Find 40 Dead Animals in Yard

Officials Find 40 Dead Animals in Yard

Poet Dante's exile letter made public

Poet Dante's exile letter made public

Fla. Jews Face Choice As Hurricane Nears

Fla. Jews Face Choice As Hurricane Nears

Thursday, September 23, 2004

Suit Du Jour - EarthLink - Strange News

Suit Du Jour - EarthLink - Strange News

For those of you who have always wished you could have Peter Frampton's face on your ass.

Mo. Man Legally Changes His Name to 'They'

Mo. Man Legally Changes His Name to 'They'

Wednesday, September 22, 2004

News

There are lots of news stories I found interesting today:

Passenger Cat Stevens Gets Plane Diverted - EarthLink - General News

Big Tobacco Confident of Winning Case - EarthLink - General News

Pioneer Adult Filmmaker Russ Meyer Dies - EarthLink - Entertainment News

William Shatner Holds Auditions for Film - EarthLink - Entertainment News

Minn. Trooper Writes 205 Mph Ticket - EarthLink - Strange News

Wired News: Mac Games: (Not) Big in Japan (Also talks a lot about Halo)

Sony's smaller PS2 takes aim at Nintendo | CNET News.com

Nintendo's newest product aims for adults | CNET News.com

Gizmodo : Sony to Put Playstation 2 Chips Inside TVs

Monday, September 20, 2004

Men Allegedly Bomb McDonald's Over Shake

Men Allegedly Bomb McDonald's Over Shake

'Star Wars' Cast, Crew Demystify Trilogy

'Star Wars' Cast, Crew Demystify Trilogy

Sunday, September 19, 2004

Star Wars Knights of the Old Republic Nude Mod

Ok, once and for all, all you stupid mother fuckers who keep coming to this page after searching for "Star Wars Knights of the Old Republic Nude Mod"...

FUCK YOU!

STOP IT, STOP IT, STOP IT!

Seriously. I get at least two or three people EVERYDAY who reach this site after searching for that. And that's just the people that click my link in the results. Who knows how many people are searching for it that don't come here.

You stupid horny teenage fuckheads. I hope you all die.

I don't know if such a thing exists. And I don't want to know. And while I'm at it, whoever reached this page after searching for "Super Mario Brothers nude mod"...

I HOPE YOU GET RIPPED APART BY A PACK OF RABID CHIPMUNKS. In front of your parents and girlfriend. And then everyone laughs.

Saturday, September 18, 2004

Another Weird Internet Address.

I just got another spam email from a very strange internet address. www.dynamitewithalaserbeam.com. Unlike the jinglesprinkle.com I got last week, there's actually something at this site if you go there, but not much. If you go to that address it's just a white page with the current date and time on it.

Friday, September 17, 2004

Man Presumed Dead Calls Daughter at Wake

Man Presumed Dead Calls Daughter at Wake

"TORONTO - Dane Squires was late for his own funeral. At least it seemed that way after people gathered Thursday at a Toronto funeral home to mourn the retired welder from Newfoundland whom they believed had been hit by a train..."

What I want to know is, where was he all this time? Usually several days pass between the time the person dies, and the funeral.

Officials: Dead Woman Had Up to 40 Drinks

Officials: Dead Woman Had Up to 40 Drinks

"FORT COLLINS, Colo. - A 19-year-old college student drank up to 40 beers and shots of liquor in an 11-hour period before she was found dead in a fraternity house, investigators said Friday..."

Stupid College kids. I say, if they're gonna be dumb enough to drink until they die from it, let them.

Man, how do you even stay conscious long enough to drink 40 drinks? And how are you still coordinated enough to actually get the drink to your mouth?

Malls Nationwide Setting Curfews for Teens

Malls Nationwide Setting Curfews for Teens

A Mall curfew of 10:00pm? How late is the mall open? Around here the entire mall is closed by 9:00, earlier on Sundays.

Culkin Arrested on Drug Complaints

Culkin Arrested on Drug Complaints

"It also was not clear why Culkin was in Oklahoma City or whether he was traveling alone..."

Hey, the Oklahoma police force finally did something cool.

600 lb. Woman Grows to Couch, Dies

600 lb Woman Grows to Couch, Dies

STUART, Fla.-- A dramatic rescue ended tragically in Stuart, Florida, a rescue so difficult firefighters say they have never seen anything like it.

It happened late Tuesday night and early Wednesday morning at the home of a 600-pound woman who was having trouble breathing. Rescuers went in not knowing how difficult it would be to get her out. 40-year-old Gail Grinds was literally stuck to her couch and had to be removed surgically at the hospital.

Authorities estimate she had been on the couch anywhere from two to five years.

Martin County Fire amd Rescue crews faced what seemed to be an impossible mission. Everyone going inside had to wear protective gear. The stench was so powerful they had to blast in fresh air.

They tried to cut out the front door, but at four-and-a-half feet wide, it wouldn't work. They had to cut plywood since a normal stretcher wouldn't do.

An ambulance was too small, so they brought in a trailer to get her out. While rescue crews came up with a back-door rescue plan, detectives secured what had become a crime scene, questioning family members about how it got so bad.

Using planks, they loaded the woman on to the trailer, still attached to the couch. Removing her would be too painful, since her body is grafted to the fabric. After years of staying put, her skin has literally become one with the sofa and it must be surgically removed.

Detectives are investigating whether they have a case of neglect, or if it is simply a very sad story.

Grinds was taken to the Martin Memorial hospital where doctors removed her from the couch, but she died in spite of all the attempts to save her life.

U.S. Weapons Inspector: Iraq Had No WMD

U.S. Weapons Inspector: Iraq Had No WMD

Lawsuits Challenge Lethal Injection

Lawsuits Challenge Lethal Injection

"Attorneys in at least a dozen of the 37 states that use lethal injection have filed lawsuits seeking to ban the procedure, which they say puts inmates through excruciating pain because the anesthetic wears off before the two other drugs are injected..."

Thursday, September 16, 2004

Night of the Living Pork

Someone got to my site today by searching for "dom deluise+billy zane+night of the living pork". While that would be a great title for a movie, I've never heard of one by that name, and a quick search of IMDB seems to confirm that it never existed, though it does have some great suggestions, such as:

Night of the Living Bread

Night of the Day of the Dawn of the Son of the Bride of the Return of the Terror (1991)
aka "Night of the Day of the Dawn of the Son of the Bride of the Return of the Revenge of the Terror of the Attack of the Evil, Mutant, Alien, Flesh Eating, Hellbound, Zombified Living Dead Part 2: In Shocking 2-D"

Night of the Living Duck, The

Night of the Vibrator

I think you may be a little confused, are you sure you didn't mean The Silence of the Hams? That movie starred Dom Deluise and Billy Zane, and was, in my opinion, one of the greatest movies ever. I wrote all about it around the beginning of this blog, let me find the post...

Here it is.

Or also, here is just the part of the post pertaining to the movie:

In other movie news my order from Amazon.com came in a couple of days ago. "Silence of the Hams." That's one of my favorite movies, but it's hard to find around here. I've never seen a copy of it for sale. I got a used copy of it off Amazon.com for about $13 with shipping and handling.

If you've never seen this movie, you should. Especially if you're a fan of Airplane and the Leslie Neilsen movies and things like that. This movie, written, directed, and also acted in by Ezzio Greggio, is a very strange, wacky parody. It's more of a parody of "Psycho" than "Silence of the Lambs." It features Dom DeLuise as Dr. Animal the Cannibal Pizza, and Billy Zane as FBI agent Jo Dee Fostar. Jo Dee Fostar is trying to get Dr. Animal to tell him where to find the psycho killer, who he thinks killed his girlfriend, who, like in Psycho, stole money from her boss and ended up at a Motel and was killed in the shower.

It's hard to pick a favorite scene, but I think it would be the scene where Jo is talking to Dr. Animal and Dr. Animal says "Tell me Clair-ass, what is your most disturbing, decadent, depraved, defoliated, decotaged, deformed, dried, dream?" And Jo sobs and says, "Ham." And Dr. Animal says, "Was the ham...silent?" And Jo starts crying, and Animal continues, "Ham can be very quiet. Very quiet. Unless it's falling down the stairs. Then it goes boom boom boom-ti-boom bum bam. Celery can be very loud. Apples, louder. Unless you have apple sauce...which goes very well with ham." And Jo sobs, "Stop! Please, no more questions!"

Ramones Reclaim Place in History

Ramones Reclaim Place in History

Probe: Authorities Held Columbine Papers

Probe: Authorities Held Columbine Papers

Wednesday, September 15, 2004

Coz I depend on meat.

Destiny's Child - Independent Woman rathergood / b3ta video by Joel Veitch with thanks to Luke Harris

A short, but very funny, flash animation.

Titles? TITLES? WE DON'T NEED NO STINKING TITLES!

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! (Wow, I feel like Pedro from Excel Saga now.) My tears, they are flowing like waterfalls, for I had written a huge post, and then my goddamn blogger fucked up and I lost it, so now I have to try to write it over again! Ok, so here we go...

Current Mood: Happy, and full of Chinese food, which is redundant, because if I'm full of Chinese food, I'm happy.
Current Music: Singing along with "Disappear," by R.E.M
.

I forgot, I was going to write a special post the other day, because it was my 1,000th post, and I had a special post all planned out, but I forgot. One of those latest news links I posted ended up being my 1,000th post. I think it was the one about the man throwing the baby out of the car, though it may have been the one about the half-ton man, which would've been appropriate, a story about a 1,000 pound man for my 1,000th post! Also, if I'd been a little quicker, I could've posted my 1,000th post on the second birthday of my blog. My blog turned two years old on September 11th! Actually, it's more like Sept. 10th, but by the time I got done typing my first post, and got it posted, it had passed midnight and became the 11th. My first post ever is dated September 11th, 2002, 12:45:49 A.M.

I'm hyper, because of the combination of Chinese food and Bawls (a.k.a., the greatest drink in the world). Also because of the fact that iTunes just started playing one of my favorite songs of all time, Video Killed the Radio Star, by The Buggles. Which, for all you trivia buffs, was the first video ever played on MTV. Back when MTV actually played videos.

Video Killed the Radio Star
The Buggles

I heard you on the wireless back in Fifty Two
Lying awake intent at tuning in on you.
If I was young it didn't stop you coming through.
Oh-a oh

They took the credit for your second symphony.
Rewritten by machine and new technology,
and now I understand the problems you can see.
Oh-a oh

I met your children
Oh-a oh

What did you tell them?
Video killed the radio star.
Video killed the radio star.

Pictures came and broke your heart.
Oh-a-a-a oh

And now we meet in an abandoned studio.
We hear the playback and it seems so long ago.
And you remember the jingles used to go.
Oh-a oh

You were the first one.
Oh-a oh

You were the last one.

Video killed the radio star.
Video killed the radio star.
In my mind and in my car, we can't rewind we've gone to far
Oh-a-aho oh,
Oh-a-aho oh

Video killed the radio star.
Video killed the radio star.
In my mind and in my car, we can't rewind we've gone to far.
Pictures came and broke your heart, look I'll play my VCR.

You are a radio star.
You are a radio star.
Video killed the radio star.
Video killed the radio star.
Video killed the radio star.
Video killed the radio star.

Video killed the radio star. (You are a radio star.)

Loves, the convenience store that sits behind the Carl's Jr. that I work at, got robbed today. What's funny, is that the guy that robbed the place at breakfast at Carl's before he went over there and robbed them. I didn't see him, I wish I had. Everyone else saw him, including my dad, who was also there eating breakfast, and sat just a couple of tables down from the guy. Everyone remembered him too, because he was dirty and scruffy and quiet. As my dad said, "he just didn't look right." He ate breakfast at Carl's, then went and talked on the payphone in front of Loves for a while. We know this because Curtis and Ricky were over there on their breaks just moments before he robbed the place. He was talking to someone asking what the quickest way to get out of Purcell without using I-35 was. Then he went inside and robbed the place. One woman that works there was taking the trash out, another was in the back of the store, and one was working the counter. He put a gun to her head, and demanded all the money. I don't know if they had an alarm she hit or what, but as soon as he walked out of the place, the cops were there, and they arrested him. This proves what a small boring town this is, but this is the first time I've ever known of a convenience store being robbed in this town, though I'm sure it's happened several times.

Ok, that's where I was at when I lost the post, and I don't feel like writing anymore now.

Tuesday, September 14, 2004

Tractor

More fucked-up-edness from Rebecca. She has one of the strangest, most entertaining blogs ever. Though she doesn't seem to write lesbian erotica anymore.

That's my new "Key to Happiness." A tractor. If I had a tractor I could go steal a Free Walking Hen from the farm because tractors are commonplace on a farm. If I had a tractor I would just grind up all the leaves in the yard and mulch them rather than painstakingly rake them. If I had a tractor I would be the most popular girl in town. If I had a tractor I would give the neighborhood kids rides (I think the closest ones are like two miles down the road a bit but I could go find them). If I had a tractor I would tap a keg in the driveway and do donuts around it and make the chew spitting locals dodge the tractor to fill their cups. That would be hot. I would paint it pink and I would have a fuzzy steering wheel cover and a drink holder. If I had a tractor I would be the best housewife ever. I swear. Maybe. Mmm, tractor.

Andy Dick testifies in assault trial

Andy Dick testifies in assault trial

Andy Dick is a wimp, and an asshole who probably deserved it. He probably did everything the guy who beat him said he did.

Wisconsin Man Throws Baby Out of Car

Wisconsin Man Throws Baby Out of Car

Yahoo! News - Half-Ton Man Takes Life One Day at a Time

Yahoo! News - Half-Ton Man Takes Life One Day at a Time

Sunday, September 12, 2004

Sumo Florist

Sumo Florist by Joel Veitch, Alex Veitch, Tim Gallagher and Mike Baker rathergood.com

Just when you think you've seen the weirdest flash animation ever, something weirder comes along, like this one. Not work safe, and in fact, not safe for anyone anywhere. It's a sumo florist, which for some reason has Jamie Lee Curtis' head (at least I think that's who it is) singing about arranging flowers with his "swollen man-meat truncheon." Then he goes on for about five minutes singing "Thank you Jesus, for my cock," while cats in choir robes sing backup.

Wow...

Wow, I just got a spam email that featured a link to the address "http://itwasfordonotnotfornotintoat.jinglesprinkle.com". I clicked it, but it kept giving me the message "itwasfordonotnotfornotintoat.jinglesprinkle.com could not be found." I have to say that's probably the longest first part of an address I've ever seen. I also find "jinglesprinkle.com" to be very funny. Almost as funny as mikezilla.com.

I'm hyper as hell today. I also got sent home from work very early today, it was about 12:25, when I was supposed to work until 4:00. There goes any overtime I would've gotten this week.

I think I'm going to spend the evening playing Halo.

Richard Butler Death Closes 'Ugly Chapter'

Richard Butler Death Closes 'Ugly Chapter'

Stupid fucking Nazis.

Blast, Mushroom Cloud Reported in N. Korea

Blast, Mushroom Cloud Reported in N. Korea

Saturday, September 11, 2004

More About Me

Yes, it's another one of these things. And once again it came from Alicia's site.

Firsts...
[First job]: Mowing lawns when I was 13.
[First screen name]: KUnderw674 on AOL. I got it around 12 years ago, and was still using it until a few months ago
[First funeral]: My grandma on my mother's side. I think I was 13.
[First pet]: Well, my parents had a dog they'd had since before I was born, but the first pet that was MINE was my hamster Rita. She lived a long time too, over four years.
[First piercing]: None.
[First tattoo]: None.
[First kiss]: Well, the first time someone kissed me was a friend named Melissa, one of the about 10 Melissas I've known, who kissed me on the cheek because I gave her a birthday present. I was 17 or 18. The first time I kissed someone was Kristina when I was 22.
[First enemy]: I don't remember. One of the dozens of kids that always beat me up in School. Probably either Randy or Allen.
[First favorite musician]: I don't remember. Probably the Beatles. About the only thing I had ever heard until I was around 11 or 12 was the oldies music that my parents listened to, and I loved it. I still do.

Lasts...
[Last car ride]: Ride? Do you mean just as a passenger? If so it was probably about a month ago, going shopping with my mom and my sister.
[Last kiss]: Someone. About a month ago.
[Last movie watched]: Red vs. Blue Season one DVD, if you want to call that a movie.
[Last beverage drank]: Bawls.
[Last food consumed]: A frozen Burrito. No, it wasn't frozen when I consumed it.
[Last phone call]: Phone? Bah. Probably Chris a few weeks ago. Well, the last wanted phone call. I receive several telemarketing calls a day.
[Last time showered]: Yesterday, and yes, I will be taking one today, I just haven't yet.
[Last CD played]: The one I burned that I was talking about yesterday.
[Last website visited]: This site.
[Lesson learned]: Do not eat the cans of beef stew from the Dollar Store.

Now...
[Single or Taken]: Single.
[Sex]: Male. Why is that under "Now"? It's not like it changes. At least not with most people.
[Birthday]: December 19th. None of the stuff in this section changes much.
[Sign]: Saggitarius.
[Siblings]: Little sister, Marci
[Hair color]: Red.
[Eye color]: Brown.
[Shoe size]: 13 or 14, depending on brand and style.
[Height]: Six Foot
[Mood]: Bored, like always.
[City you're in]: Purcell.

Right now what are you...
[Supposed to be doing instead of this]: Nothing
[Wearing]: Underwear
[Drinking]: Nothing
[Thinking about]: This answer.
[Listening to]: iTunes is set on Random, right now it's playing "I'm Not Afraid of Life," by the Ramones.
[About to do]: Be even more bored.

Friday, September 10, 2004

Computer Problems

Yes, I realize it's been a long time since I wrote a real post, all I've been doing is posting links, but I just haven't felt like posting. I still don't really, but there's a couple of things I want to mention.

I thought I was doing pretty good on money this month, until today some unexpected expenses popped up. This morning, I spilt some cereal on my desk, and some of the milk went onto the keyboard. It still worked right after it happened, and I thought everything would be fine. I turned the keyboard upside down, and knocked as much of the milk out of it as I could. But then when I got home from work, the entire keyboard was broken. I wouldn't have been surprised if maybe the keys it got on and dried on inside had been broken, but I didn't expect the whole keyboard to stop working. So I just had to drive about 60 miles to CompUSA, since it is the nearest place I can get Mac stuff at, and bought a new keyboard. The keyboard was $49.99 before tax, and it also cost me almost $10 worth of gas, so it looks like I'm going to have to watch my money closely again this month. I just got done living a month on $70, and was hoping to not have to do that again this month, but it looks like this month will be even leaner.

I get home, get the new keyboard on the computer, and get online, to find this:
Sagittarius
Don't expect much luck with computers today, dear Sagittarius, particularly when it comes to writing or otherwise communicating with others. Malfunctions with regard to technological marvels could plague you throughout the day. In fact, if you want to get a message to a friend, the best way might just be to visit them! Creative efforts could be hindered in the same way. Today is a great day to retreat to the old days of pen and paper! Hang in there!
So, I have to say this is probably the most accurate horoscope I've ever received.

God dammit, I know there were several other things I was going to talk about. Some of them I'd been meaning to write about for a week.

Yesterday at work sucked. I had to stay almost half an hour after my already 9 hour shift ended because none of the night crew people had shown up yet. Of course the extra work will help with my paycheck, especially since Allen said today he's going to cut everyone's hours again probably. I have GOT to get a new job, or a second one. Anyway, there were four people that were supposed to come in for the night shift, all were supposed to be there at 4:00. One of them came in to get her check around 2:00 and said that her parents were making her quit because she was failing algebra. Stupid bitch. That left three people coming in at four. Four o'clock came, and no one was there yet. Finally, about five or ten minutes after, Katie showed up. But she had forgotten her uniform. How you forget your uniform I don't know. Stupid bitch. So she called her brother to bring her her uniform, and Curtis told her to clock in and work in what she was wearing until her uniform arrived. Time passed and no one else had showed up, so around 4:15 Curtis called Nathan to see where the hell he was. Nathan had forgotten that he didn't have a vehicle that day, and needed a ride, so he had to get a ride at the last minute. Stupid bastard. I heard today it was about 5:00 before he finally showed up. Curtis finally let me go around 4:20. So I heard today that Nathan finally showed up around five, but that was it, the third person never showed up at all. No call, no show. So he got fired. So when I got to work today they'd hired like three new people overnight. We've been having this problem a lot lately. Half our crew changes every week or two. No one we are hiring is lasting for more than a week or two. We've been having a big drug problem too. Several of the firings and quittings have had something to do with drugs. One guy went on break, and smoked so much crack, he forgot to come back. He finally showed up around 11:00 that night. But he was already fired.

I burned the greatest CD the other day. Most of it is Punk music. Newer punk music. I don't like most punk music from the 90's and later, I like the punk from the 70's and 80's. Dead Kennedys, and the Ramones, bands like that. But I have a few newer punk rock songs I like on my computer, and I put several of them on this CD. There's also a couple other types of music on it. Here's the playlist:

1. Let's Get it Started - Black Eyed Peas
2. Hey Ya - Outkast
3. Snot Rocket - Heft
4. God Thinks - Voltaire
5. Only Lovers Left Alive - The (International) Noise Conspiracy
6. 19-2000 (Soulchild Remix) - Gorillaz
7. What's Left of the Flag - Flogging Molly (A fucking great song, I love it.)
8. True Believers - The Bouncing Souls
9. People are Stupid - 30 Foot Fall
10. Lost for Words - Pink Floyd
11. The Beautiful Doctor - El Mixo (This is something I downloaded once, it's the music from Marilyn Manson's "The Beautiful People," combined with the theme music from the old "Dr. Who" TV series. It sounds really cool, they sound like they were made to go together.)
12. They Say it's Video Game Music - St. N6ko (Some weird electronic music I downloaded from some guy's site.)
13. Lost for Words - Pink Floyd (So great, I had to put it twice. Not really, it was an accident.)
14. Layla (Unplugged Version) - Eric Clapton
15. Zombie - The Cranberries (Another one of my favorite songs.)
The next three tracks I just put because I still had a lot of space left on the disk that I didn't want to waste, so I put all the MP3s I had that had to do with Halo or Red vs. Blue.
16. A Girl Named Tex - Trocadero
17. Blood Gulch Blues - By Trocadero and the Red vs. Blue crew
18. Halo 2 Trailer - Martin O'Donnell (This is the Orchestral music from the official Halo 2 Trailer, also the main theme music to Halo 2, I suspect.)

Ok, that's enough for tonight.

CBS Defends Report on Bush Guard Memos

CBS Defends Report on Bush Guard Memos

Thursday, September 09, 2004

Congress Approves Suicide-Prevention Bill

Congress Approves Suicide-Prevention Bill

"Rep. Scott Garrett, R-N.J., cited a Michigan case in which a second-grade boy killed himself after watching a film in a suicide prevention class. People who knew the boy said he was not depressed at the time of his death and may have been mimicking what he saw in the film, Garrett said.

In the movie, a boy who tried to hang himself was rescued by his friends. 'In real life that did not occur,' Garrett said..."

Dog Wiggles Paw Free to Shoot Florida Man

Dog Wiggles Paw Free to Shoot Florida Man

"PENSACOLA, Fla. - A man who tried to shoot seven puppies was shot himself when one of the dogs put its paw on the revolver's trigger..."

Questions Raised About Bush Guard Service

Questions Raised About Bush Guard Service

"Reviving issues that have shadowed his political career, the documents show Bush ignored a direct order from a superior officer and lost his status as a Texas Air National Guard pilot more than three decades ago because he failed to meet military performance standards and undergo a required physical examination..."

Tuesday, September 07, 2004

Playboy to Feature Video Game Characters

Playboy to Feature Video Game Characters - EarthLink - Strange News

Lawsuit Uncovers New Bush Guard Records

Lawsuit Uncovers New Bush Guard Records - EarthLink - Top News

Friday, September 03, 2004

Apple Unveils new G5 iMac

iMac G5 in pictures | CNET News.com

Yeah, I know this story is about a week late, but ths article is the first I've found that had good pictures of the computer. Yes, that's then entire computer, not just a monitor. And it features the new G5 processor, which is Apple's latest, most powerful processor. For you PC users out there, G3, G4, G5, etc, is Apple's way of naming their processors, like how Pentium names theirs the Pentium 3 and Pentium 4, etc.

I like the new design, but not as much as the iMac I have, the previous design with the rounded base and the thin flatscreen monitor on the swing arm. To me, I think the new design is selling out, the websites all say that they designed it to look like the iPod, since that's their big seller right now, hoping to get more people to switch to the Mac because it looks like the iPod that they own and love so much. I also don't like the disk drive, instead of having a pop-out tray like most CD/DVD drives, it features a slot-loading device, like the CD player in most cars. Apparently I have different standards for computers, because all stories I read, everyone absolutely loves the design of the new iMac, and the slot-loading drive.

Apple Puts the Squeeze on new iMac

This article tells more about the computer, such as the hardware specifics and price. In the article they describe the $1,299 price tag as being very high, and the computer's main obstacle. Especially when compared with the $500 to $700 desktop PCs most people are buying now. Man, computer prices have went down so much it's amazing. When I bought my current iMac I paid over $2000 for it, and thought I was getting a great deal. And that was only about two years ago. I've paid over $2,000 for every computer I've ever owned. TO show how much the pricing and power of computers have changed, I'll use the example of my second computer, and IBM Aptiva. It had a 366Mhz processor, 8 megabytes of RAM, and a 3 gigbyte hard drive, which at the time was an incredible new amount for a hard drive, the 366Mhz processor was also brand-new top of the line. For this computer, a staggering piece of shit by today's standards, I paid over $2,000. And this was only around 8 or 9 years ago.

Anyway, here are some more Mac related stories:

New iMac Tries to Play it Cool

Open-source Pedigree will Protect Tiger

Caller ID: Do you really know who's calling?

Caller ID: Do you really know who's calling?

"Your Caller ID feature may no longer be telling the truth.

This week, a company is launching technology that will make it possible for someone to choose what appears on phones that have Caller ID, the feature for displaying identifying information about an incoming call.

It could be a different phone number, or even a few words, said Jason Jepson, founder of Star38, which has developed the commercial Caller ID spoofing service..."

DVD player profits down to $1

DVD player profits down to $1

Thursday, September 02, 2004

Mystery signal sets pulses racing

Mystery signal sets pulses racing

"Unexplained radio signals from space could be communications from an alien civilization, reports the New Scientist..."

Prison Guards Find Basketball Full of Pot

Prison Guards Find Basketball Full of Pot

Weird news from here in Oklahoma. How the hell did they get it in there?