Strange Things are Afoot at the Circle K.: February 2004

Sunday, February 29, 2004

The Dubya Constitution

Taken from Abstract Dynamics:

The Passion of Christ

So I'm sitting in this café, thinking about going to check out that new Mel Gibson slasher flick. But then, then this fucker next to me starts talking. And get this, he freaking TELLS ME THE ENDING.

Damn. Guess I don't have to see it now.

Eyebeam reBlog

This is cool, it is, in it's own words, "A web site republishing the best blog posts from around the web." I'm adding this to the "Other Blogs" list of links.

Exploring Time Gallery Display

Similar to the aging woman I posted the other day, this is a video that shows the changes in a woman over several months of pregnancy, compressed into a few seconds.

Hey, check it out, I got a comment service. Now you can leave comments on each specific post. The comment service is provided by Haloscan.

Speaking of Halo, me and my sister just beat the game in cooperative mode on the "normal" difficulty level. Next we'll try to beat it on "heroic."

Well, that's really all I have to write about. I'm just enjoying my two days off in a row. I was off yesterday, and now I'm off today. Then I'm off again Wednesday, because I have an appointment to get my taxes done. I'm really enjoying having two days off in a row. I finished another chapter of my Small Business Management course, and I really should be working on another one today, but I don't feel like it.

I wish I had a chihuahua.

Saturday, February 28, 2004

Yet another version of the Penguin Game. This one is really bloody and violent, and also pretty bad, but just as addictive as the others. In this version there are mines that when hit will launch the penquin even farther. If you manage to hit several in a row you can get some pretty good distance. My best so far was almost 1100m.

Time for more tests!

Check out my Morality! 74% liberal, 26% conservative This test is really accurate. You can click the link and see a more detailed assessment of me.

Check out my blirtatiousness! This one is pretty accurate too. But this one was kinda hard to do, I do tend to say whatever's on my mind when it's something critical of others, but when it's something to do with emotions or my feelings for people, I can and do keep it bottled up inside for years. You have to click the link to see my results.

Friday, February 27, 2004

Wow, Melissa sent me a lot of links tonight, all to various retro t-shirt sites, similar to the one I posted a few days ago. These t-shirts all rock. They are just horribly, wonderfully tacky. I want them all.

Here's the site I've been talking about. I bought a couple of shirts from it the other day. They should be here any day now:
The Cotton Factory

Here's another site with unbelievably retro shirts. A paradise of 70's and 80's memories. And really funny, too:
Retroduck

More funny, vintage t-shirts:
Local Celebrity

I don't even know how to describe these t-shirts. The only words I can think of are, "terrible," and "scary."
Fish Pie - Curious Tees

This site isn't really vintage or retro, but here's a shirt I really want:
That's not porn!

local6.com - News - Man Dies After Lying In Yard For Days Refusing Help

God Hates Shrimp

Watch a woman age.

This is cool. Her smile never changes her entire life.

Cool! They've brought back The Incredible Crash Dummies! I loved those things back when they were out in the 90's, and now they're back! They were the toys that looked like the Crash Dummies from the seatbelt commercials, and when you hit the button on their chest, they fell apart, their head and limbs popped off. They were kinda cheap though, they broke really easily. I was always having to buy new ones all the time. Sometimes I'd buy one and it wouldn't even last the whole day. The little springs inside that held them together would bend and the pieces wouldn't attach anymore. You'd make them fly apart, and then suddenly they wouldn't go back together. That's probably why they weren't on the market that long, just a year or so. Hopefully they've fixed that problem this time, and they will be better quality.

I'll probably write more later.

Thursday, February 26, 2004

From Tony Pierce:

george you ignorant slut.

i hate you.

fuck you.

fuck you and the people who think like you because what you want to happen to this country isnt american.

american is being courageous enough to believe in human rights and free speech and the idea of less government and protection of the minority just the way our slave-owning rich white male forefathers laid out.

fuck you for thinking that people need protection from words on the radio or nipples on tv. fuck you for pretending that you think that people need protection from these things because i know how hard you partied in college and i dont even think that you believe that people need protection from nipples.

what we need protection from is government.

what we need is protection from power hungry moralists who dont even read the bible but thump it.

what we need is protection from war-mongreling oil-hungry liars and phonies who send our kids to war to "free" a country when our country is becoming less and less free.

fuck you george bush who only wants freedom to the rich and powerful.

fuck you for not saying fuck you to the congresswoman who lied to the head of viacom after the superbowl incident.

she got on tv and got in front of her committe and she said that she was visiting her mother on superbowl sunday. she said that she has a "sports fanatic 10 year old" who asked for "special permission to watch the super bowl". fuck you for not calling bullshit right there, for what kid needs to ask for special permission to watch a football game in the middle of the day.

fuck you for letting that fucked up woman decide what is right for me and my friends and my neighbors and whatever kids i may or might not have.

fuck you for letting this happen because you dont listen to howard, because you dont like nipples on your tv, because you arent interested in freedom.

fuck you for having a drunken drugged out youth and letting your daughters have a drugged out drunken youth but you seem not to want anyone else to have any fun.

fuck you for fucking our economy. fuck you for letting gasoline prices skyrocket. fuck you for making us even question the fact that gas prices are so high and you're from a family of oilmen.

fuck you for letting your vps former company be the number one financial benefactor of this dirty war that you sent us into.

fuck you for your bullshit sneers that dont intimidate anyone and only make us laugh at you.

fuck you for allowing censorship in america based on an unregulated monopoly in the making called Clear Channel.

fuck you for stealing that election and sneaking in two extremist judges into the appeals court this month.

fuck you for making america look like germany in the 40s.

fuck you for stifling the good thing that this country once had called freedom.

fuck you for pretending like youve done enough good things to warrant your re-election.

not only to i wish ill on you but i hope it happens on over-the-air tv

and i hope that a witness nearby is near a microphone

and i hope that he or she screams a jubilant

fuck yeah.

and i hope the ill comes slowly and twisted

in color

in 5.1 dolby

unedited

right before a gay wedding.

The Sushi Pants Story

Wednesday, February 25, 2004

Yesterday I spent over $50 at Wal-Mart on personal hygiene products. Trying to improve my image, or something. I actually bought some hair styling product. I haven't used anything in my hair since 7th grade, when I briefly had a flat-top hairdo. People seem to think it's weird that I don't use anything in my hair. Also, I'm thinking of getting a new hairstyle, but I don't know what I want though. I don't like most of the hairstyles guys wear these days. I think I'm just going to go to the barbershop, and tell them to give me a guy's haircut, whatever is in style and they think would look good on me. I'm also starting to wear cologne. That's another thing people always think is incredible weird about me, I never wear cologne or anything like that. It's weird, you tell most people that you don't wear cologne, and they look at you like you have two heads or something, like it's the craziest thing they've ever heard. I used to never wear cologne, but the last year or two I've started wearing it every now and then, but still not that often. I usually use that Axe body spray. Now I'm going to start wearing it every day. Then I also just decided to try some new brands of shampoo and deodorant and soap and stuff like that. Here's a list of what I bought:

-- That new orange flavored Listerine, since I was almost out of my other bottle of mint Listerine.
-- A bottle of Pert shampoo/conditioner. Pert is my favorite shampoo, but I normally use Flex. This Pert is different from the kind I normally use though. Some new kind they have, that's supposed to be refreshing. It's got herbal ingredients that cool your scalp. I used it this morning, and it felt like I was rubbing Vick's Vaporub into my scalp, and it had a sorta medicine-like smell to it. It wasn't really that bad though.
-- A bottle of that new Old Spice men's body wash. It sucks. I used a ton of it, but could not get it to lather at all. And then it wouldn't rinse off, it felt like it was still on me.
-- A different brand of deodorant than I usually use. I don't remember what kind it was.
-- A bottle of Axe body spray. "Kilo" scent. Of the kinds I've used though, I like the "Apollo" scent best, but this is pretty cool too. "Voodoo" sucks.
-- Some Aussie flexible hold hairspray stuff.
-- Some Gillette after shave skin conditioner lotion stuff. I've used it before, and it's pretty cool.
-- Some more Listerine breath strips. I've been using these since they came out, but I was almost out.
Then tonight I went back and bought some more stuff. I bought some different hair stuff, some Salon Selectives hair styling gel, and some Clean and Clear face wash.

Picking out the hair product took forever. Both nights I was standing in the aisle for probably 15 minutes looking at the different products, since I've never bought anything like that before.

I also spent some money yesterday on some car products. A new air freshener, some auto Febreeze, and a really cool car duster called the "California Duster" or something, it works really well. I also bought some things called "Tireflys." They're these lights ( I got blue ones) that screw on in place of the caps on your tires valve stems, and they are motion activated, and as you drive they flash. I don't think they're working though. I don't think they're sensitive enough. I know before I put them on the car you could shake them around and everything, and they wouldn't come on. You had to flick them hard to get them to come on.

Tonight I also bought a Spongebob t-shirt. They had several different ones, but they only had one style in my size, and unfortunately it wasn't my favorite one, but it's still cool, so I got it, I just liked a couple of the others better. This one is grey, and it has Spongebob on the front, and he's pulling his pant/shirt combo thing he wears way up on him, and he's making an angry face, and it says "I wear the pants in this pineapple!"

Okay, that's all. I'm ending this stupid post now.

The Creatures From the Sandwich Shop - Behind the singing rodents in the Quiznos ad. By Seth Stevenson

Cow Patty
by Jim Stafford

From the badlands came the killer,
He lived by his knife and the gun.
He'd cut you just for standing
And shoot you if you tried to run.
He was as big as a tree and did what he pleased,
And everything he did was bad.
They said, if you was to kill him,
It'd only make him mad.

From the goodlands came the cowgirl,
Patti was her name.
She was hot on the trail of that killer
On a moped she called Flame,
'Cause the killer had killed her daddy
Just for spittin' in the road,
And you only had to kill her daddy once
To get that gal p.o.'d.

CHORUS:
Yippee-i-ay, Cow Patti.
Yippee-i-ay, Cow Patti.
She rode into town
To find the man
That killed her daddy.
Yippee-i-ay, Cow Patti.

The killer hit town at daybreak,
Ate the door off the local saloon.
He started to drink,
You could tell there'd be a showdown soon.
Patti hit town in a cloud of dust,
Old Flame was buzzin' like a saw,
And the whole town got quiet as a church,
When the killer stepped out for the draw.

Forty shots rang out, forty people fell.
Patti and the killer missed each other,
But they shot the town to hell.
The killer took a step toward Patti,
Said, "It's time I gunned you down",
But he slipped in something
That was laying in the street,
And was shot before he hit the ground.

Yes, the killer slipped
And it cost him his life,
And Patti said, as she raced out of town,
"You got to watch your step,
When you know the chips are down."

Yippee-i-ay, Cow Patti.
Yippee-i-ay, Cow Patti.
She rode into town
To find the man
That killed her daddy.
Yippee-i-ay, Cow Patti.

Tuesday, February 24, 2004

The Cotton Factory - Dungeons and Dragons 1981 International Convention Tee

I really like this shirt.

Hooray for sex.

Not that I've had any lately, I just felt like cheering for it.

Yup. Sex would sure be nice.

Sunday, February 22, 2004

The 419 Question Freak Test! | http://breakfast.itgo.com/freaktest.html This test is fucking hilarious.

More weird tests here: Purity Tests

Friday, February 20, 2004

More song weirdness from Melissa:

missy_custer: i wanna be a ballad pop star
missy_custer: i'll belt out tunes about the forbidden love of squirrels and chickens
missy_custer: i'll wear a chicken suit, and the background image will be a huge purple screen with hundreds of hamsters running in their wheels
missy_custer: i'll have a duet with Weird Al
missy_custer: oooooooooh can't you seeeeeee
missy_custer: that squirrels and chickens weren't meant to beeeee


Other, non song related weirdness from Melissa:

missy_custer: i was talking about my accupuncture appointment with my friend....and somehow, it got weirded out
missy_custer: i told her, "imagine it as a star trek episode....uhura is giving captain kirk his accupuncture treatment"
missy_custer: "spock walks in and says in a monotone voice with his one eyebrow arched, 'that is highly illogical'"
missy_custer: "then captain kirk laughs hysterically and all the needles pop out."
missy_custer: "uhura gets pissed and says, "spock, damnit, you ruined his treatment!"
missy_custer: for some reason my friend was laughing so hard
missy_custer: i think it was because i said, "and spock says in a squirrel voice, 'yeah, so what's your point?!'"
missy_custer: "and captain kirk says 'the point was in me!'" and then uhura got pissed and threw the needles in a dart board

Oh... my... God. That was the most amazing thing I've ever seen. Today I went to Best Buy, and bought the Halo 2 demo bundle they have.

My jaw literally dropped. It was 20 - 25 minutes of the most amazing stuff I have ever seen. It made the first game look like Pong.

I'm drooling.

t r u t h o u t - William Rivers Pitt | The One You've Been Waiting For

You must read this.

desertlightjournal.blog-city.com Double Standards: Ever Wonder Why?

I agree with this.

Thursday, February 19, 2004

Hey, cool. I actually managed to write something. This is the most I've written in a long time. But it's fairly obvious I've been reading and playing too much Halo.

0930 hours, July 15th, 2056
In the Nevada Desert / Somewhere
South of the Humboldt Range


The harsh sun beat down, causing sweat to run down his face, and into his eyes. The sting caused him to wince, and blink a couple of times, but he never took his eye away from the sniper rifle's sight. From his perch atop a rocky outcropping, he commanded a view of a large portion of the expanse below. Dotted with only a handful of large rocks, the desert valley didn't offer many hiding places, yet he was having a hard time finding his targets. To his left, a sudden glint caught his eye, and he swiftly pointed the rifle in that direction, scanning the area around a boulder with a large desert scrub brush growing beside it. He saw a small movement behind the bush, and tensed, pressing his finger against the trigger. Suddenly the large alien creature stepped out from behind the bush, pointing its weapon directly at him, but he already had the creature in his sights, and fired a shot that hit it just above the left eye, killing it instantly.

He exhaled, and added another alien to his mental scoreboard.

He made another quick, but sharp-eyed survey of the landscape, and, satisfied he had got them all, he began to hike down to the bottom of the ridge, to walk to the installation on the other side of the valley.

Update: 8:30pm. I wrote another passage, which takes place at a later point in the story:

1345 hours, July 15th, 2056
Inside the U.S. Naval Reserve / Nevada


The thick metal doors slid open in front of him, and before they were even half open, the "bullets" began to fly. He quickly sidestepped and pressed himself up against the wall beside the door. He readied his gun, and made sure the magazine was full, and then he quickly sidestepped over to the other side of the hall, firing a short burst at the nearest target along the way. He briefly stuck his head into the doorway, and examined the room. One alien lay dead on the floor, the one he had just shot. There were three more spread out across the room. He pulled his head back inside, and several shots hit where his head had just been. The strange energy projectiles made the wall warm. One of the aliens said something in their strange, warbling tongue, and he could hear one of them start moving towards the doorway where he was hiding. He leaned out into the doorway, and fired a five shot burst at the one moving closer. Four of the bullets hit the alien on the right side of he chest, and it fell to the floor and lay in a spreading puddle of it's own blue blood. The other two aliens made a shrieking noise, and began to fire at him, and he ran out the doorway towards a stack of crates, taking out another alien on the way. He ducked behind the crates as the last alien began to fire. Suddenly he noticed the letters stenciled on the crates, and realized he was hiding behind crates of weapons and ammo. Not the best place to be right now. He hastily ran out from behind the crates, and almost ran into the third alien as it came around the side of the crate after him. The alien shrieked and tried to grab him, but he landed a solid kick in its midsection, knocking it backwards. He swiftly brought up his rifle, and emptied an entire clip into the alien's chest.

Now that all the aliens were dead, he made sure both doors were secured, and sat down to rest and regroup. He opened up the weapons crates to see if there was anything he could use. It was mostly ammo in the first crate, and, luckily, the kind he needed. He ejected the empty clip from his pistol, and replaced it with a full one, and also took all the ammo he could carry for both his guns.

I've posted a lot of links the last couple of days, mainly because I'm sick and lazy, and don't feel like doing much else. I'm still sick. I was supposed to work today, but I called in because I got really sick again last night, and didn't sleep much, and felt horrible this morning, and was coughing really bad again. I'm feeling a little bit better now though. I'm off work tomorrow, so hopefully by Saturday, when I have to go back to work, I'll be feeling better.

That's really all I have to write about now. I think I'm gonna try to write something, the last week or so I've been feeling the urge to write. Though I have no idea what to write about.

Wired News: Scientists: Bush Distorts Science

I HATE DOGS! That's the ulgiest dog I've ever seen. And what's with the name of the site in the address? Belvedere ass waddle? WTF?

The Geek Hierarchy | The Brunching Shuttlecocks

The Geek Hierarchy | The Brunching Shuttlecocks Funny.

"Erotic fanfic writers who put themselves in the story" is pretty high up on the list of geekiness. Hmmm, sounds like someone I know.

Big Brother
Outspoken Clothing - Homeland Security Is Monitoring Progressive Clothing Sites

Wednesday, February 18, 2004

The Cotton Factory | 800-441-3046 | CottonFactory.com

The Cotton Factory
Wonderfully, unspeakably, retro and tacky. You must check these shirts out, they rock. Alicia has one of them, the "Corey Feldman Center of the Arts" one. They even have some grabbags where you can get a randomly selected shirt for $2 or $5 dollars!

ABCs for the Kids. V is for VUMPLER! I love this cartoon. QUACK QUACK QUACK QUACK!

Mall Ninjas

Barcode Yourself

Tuesday, February 17, 2004

Shake it like a polaroid picture
Contrary to popular belief, you should NOT shake polaroid pictures.

NBC11.com - News - Assignment 11: Dealing With Death This job would rock. "An unusual career requires unusual skills including an especially strong stomach, a twisted sense of humor and the ability to do what others won't." Yep, that's me.

Humorous Typo: "Once a dot-come marketing executive..."

FULL OF SHAT Another William Shatner worship page.

CNN.com - 'Friends': The most overrated comedy ever - Feb. 12, 2004

This is the kind of news story I live for.
TheWGALChannel.com - News - Adams County Is Home To Top Secret Military Facility

Bush Yoga Welcome to Bush Yoga! Here, you will find the leader of the free world posed in a variety of ancient positions.

The Register - Moon-sized Diamond Found in Space The biggest ever diamond has been found floating in space. The gem, estimated at close to 10 billion trillion trillion carats, is at the core of a dead star (BPM 37093) - a crystallised white dwarf.

POE News: Rumsfield Fighting Technique

Current Mood: Sick as hell.
Current Music: "We Suck Young Blood," by Radiohead


Since I'm lazy, most of this post is just cut and paste from a conversation I just had with Chris, with minor editing.

Damn, I'm sick today, I was sick yesterday too. I don't know what it is, I got it from Marci, mom's got it too, and some of the people at work are getting it. It starts as a sore throat. That's about all Mom's got, is a really bad sore throat for days. Marci started out with a sore throat, then got a fever. I just woke up the other morning with a really sore throat, then as the day went on, my sinuses started bothering me, then that night I started sneezing. Yesterday it moved down into my chest, my throat wasn't as sore, but I was coughing a lot, and my sinuses were still congested. Today it's still just my nose and chest. I feel really weak and tired too the last two days. Last night I went to the bookstore, and by the time I left, I felt so bad I could barely drive home. I'm taking Nyquil pills and Robitussin cough syrup, but neither's doing much at all. I've been reading nearly the entire day. At 10:00 am I started reading the third Halo book, that I bought last night, "First Strike." I read it until 2:30, when I stopped to instead read a chapter of my business course, the next shipment finally came in. Then I read Halo some more until about 6:30, then me and Marci played Halo until a few minutes after 8:00. I've read about 250 pages of that Halo book today. It's only got 340 pages.

Now the rest of this post is all original.

So that's my day. It sucks. I feel like shit. Not as bad as I did, but still pretty shitty. Now I'm bored. I'll probably go finish reading that Halo book. Last night I also bought that Rob Zombie movie The House of 1000 Corpses. It was pretty cool, but not quite what I expected. First I expected it to be a lot campier and weirder, and also more extreme. The movie was actually pretty tame compared to what I was hoping to see. Also, there was no cannibalism, for some reason I was expecting, and hoping to see, cannibalism. Kim at work was right, it's very similar to The Texas Chainsaw Massacre Actually, I've never seen that, but I've heard enough about it, and seen enough of one of the really bad sequels (the third movie, I think) to tell that it's very similar. The other day at work me and Kim were talking about Rob Zombie and Marilyn Manson, she loves Rob Zombie, and that movie.

Well, I feel like crap, so that's all for now.

Sunday, February 15, 2004

I never got around to writing my final Valentine's Day news. I didn't feel like writing much last night, I was too tired. And now today I still don't feel like writing, because now I'm sick. I woke up this morning sick. I've had a sore throat all day.

But still, here's my Valentine's Day news. In one sentence.

I gave Stacy from work (yes... Stacy) a dozen roses , and she liked them. The End.

That's all I feel like writing now. I'm probably gonna go to bed early tonight.

NICE TITS Another website that's not what you expect. But at least these people understand that their name is funny, and use it to their advantage.

Saturday, February 14, 2004

It's Valentine's Day. And I'm bored. At least I'm not bored and depressed like previous Valentine's Days.

The Costumer's Manifesto: Transgender, Kink, & Fetish Clothing and Body Modification Links Hundreds of links to everything you'll ever need for your various kinky, sexy, crossdressing, corsetry, body modification, and costume needs.

Friday, February 13, 2004



YES! YES! MY HERO!




Hmmm, I've never seen that movie, but it seems like an interesting result.

Current mood: Really tired.
Current Music: "Holiday" by the Bee Gees


Today may be Friday the 13th, but I've been having bad luck for the last week or so. Around a week ago I got a nail in my tire, and had to go get it patched. Then, the other day I mentioned I was having car trouble, but thought it might be fixed. It wasn't. The next morning, yesterday, my car wouldn't start, so my mom had to take me to work. When I got home my dad looked at it, and all he could figure out is that it was either the battery, or the alternator. We jumped it and it finally started, and so I went to Autozone, and they hooked it up to a machine to test the battery and the alternator. Turned out it was just the battery. I had to buy a new battery, which cost $70. Also, a couple of nights ago, I got on my bed, and one of the legs folded under. I managed to fix it as good as it could be fixed, and it held for a while. But then the next evening I had been laying on it reading most of the day, and one of the times when I went got up off the bed, it broke again. This time the leg snapped completely off, and couldn't be fixed. So now I have my bed up on a cinder block, which is an inch or two taller than the leg was, so my bed leans a little. I don't really even notice though when I'm laying on it. Today, though it's Friday the 13th, I actually had a pretty good day. Well, there wasn't anything special or good about it, but nothing bad happened.

It's almost Valentine's Day. Whoop-de-doo. I usually hate Valentine's Day, but it's not bothering me this year. Actually, I bought some flowers for someone this year, I still don't want to say who, not until tomorrow at least. I bought a dozen orange roses. I wanted to get her some flowers, but I felt red roses was going a little far. I've never given anyone anything for Valentine's day before. Except for in elementary school when we had to give a valentine to everyone in class.

In honor of Valentine's day, I have a few Valentine's related items for this post.

Japan has Valentine's Day, but it's a little bit different. On February 14th, women give chocolate to the men they know. Husbands, boyfriends, fathers, etc. Chocolate given to lovers and people you like, is called honmei-choco, but also, women must give little chocolates or trinkets to male co-workers, and things like that, whether they want to or not. This is called giri-choco, or "obligation chocolate." Then, on March 14th, called "White-Day" men return the favor, and give white chocolate and/or gifts to all women who gave them something on Valentine's Day.

Here's a pickup line you should never use, courtesy of Johnny Bravo. "Man, you're hot! Can I smother you with my body so you don't catch on fire?"

The Alt.Suicide.Holiday Valentine's Day Survival Kit

The Anti-Valentine's Day Page

What the different colors of roses mean.

Hmmm, I thought I had more Valentine's stuff than that. But I guess I don't.

Thursday, February 12, 2004

OK, I had things I wanted to write about tonight, but I'm just too fucking tired, so I'm gonna put it off until tomorrow.

I'm thinking about getting this girl flowers for Valentine's Day, but don't know if roses would be a bit too much, since there's nothing between us at this time. Maybe I should get her some other kind of flowers?

Maybe I should just kill everyone.

Maybe I should just go watch some porn.

the Creatures in my Head. / Daily illustrations by Andrew Bell

rvTop

Weeeeee! You've probably heard of this before. It's the ultra-hilarious song by Threebrain. "Oh My God, WEEEEEE! (Gonads and Strife)"

Here's the rest of their songs:
Threebrain Rock Videos

Wednesday, February 11, 2004

Throw Rocks At Boys This is great. I just spent about 15 minutes playing this and laughing my ass off. Finally my sister came in and said "God! What are you laughing at?"

Tuesday, February 10, 2004

Current Mood: Tired.
Current Music: "Right Here, Right Now," by Fatboy Slim


I'm tired. I'm glad I'm off today. But the day has gone by really fast. I haven't even done anything, and the day's flown by.

I haven't been writing much. Since I switched to day shift, I'm working about twice the hours I used to, and then the last week I come home from work every day and play Halo with my sister for a couple of hours. Then I go to bed about four hours later.

I wonder when my next shipment of lessons for my business course is going to get here? I sent the first set off to be graded a week or two ago.

I got some mail from Bank One today, about my credit card account. They caught their mistake, I was hoping they wouldn't. A few months ago I placed an order at www.discountanimedvd.com for $70.90. The DVDs got backordered, and finally, over a month later, they told me that they weren't going to be able to get them, they were no longer available, and I could either pick some new ones, or get a refund. I chose the refund. They said it would take up to 30 days for the refund to be credited to me. Then my credit card bill came due before I got the refund, so the credit card statement said I still owed the money. I called Bank One, and straightened it all out, they told me not to pay it and they would credit the money to my account. Then my credit card statement came in last month, and for some reason it said I didn't owe anything on that statement, even though I had bought some stuff, and it said I had a positive balance of like $38 left on the card. Finally I figured out that they'd made a mistake, and instead of just removing the charge from my bill, they gave me a refund, even though I never actually paid it. I was hoping they wouldn't catch their mistake, but today I got a letter saying that they'd just realized they made a mistake. Both them and the DVD place had credited the $70.90 to me. So that means that this month I'm going to actually have to pay for this month's bill, and the one I didn't have to pay last month.

So I've been playing a lot of Halo lately. The other night we all went over to Daniel's to play. They wanted me to bring my sister, since she likes playing Halo too, and she's pretty good at it, at least compared to me she is, but I suck, so that's not saying much. My mom wouldn't let her go though, she says it wasn't right for her to play video games with a bunch of older guys, even though Olivia was going to be there too. So me and Marci have been playing against each other the last few days, and we're both getting better, especially me. The next time we all play maybe I won't suck so much. I know my way around the stages a lot better now too.

w00t! Headshot.

All the guys at work that play Halo, such as Daniel, Murray, Shawn, and Phillip, are reading the Halo books now too. There's a series of novels out about Halo. I went to the bookstore last night and bought one of them too. The Fall of Reach. It's a prequel to the game. I just started reading it this morning, and I'm half done with it already. I read really fast.

I had some car trouble when I went to the bookstore last night. I thought I was going to have to call my dad to come give me a jump or something. When I tried to start my car it almost started, but then suddenly went dead. And then it wouldn't start, it acted like the battery was dead. It also looked like there might have been a short or something, because whenever I'd try to start it, the radio would go crazy, it's started ejecting the CD, and then pulling it back in, and trying to eject the tape that's been stuck in the tape player for several months now. When I'd try to start it, the inside lights and the indicators on the dash would light up, but barely, but then I hit the dash since the radio was acting possessed, and everytime I'd hit the dash, the lights would get brighter, so I thought maybe there was just a short. I sat there a few minutes, then tried to start the car again, and it still wouldn't start, so I popped the hood and decided to have a look. This was a useless gesture, since I know absolutely nothing about cars, I can barely check my oil. I looked the battery over, and jiggled the battery cables a little, and then tried to start the car again, and it started like nothing was ever wrong. When I got home I had my dad look it over, but he couldn't figure what was wrong with it either. The only possible problem was that one of the battery cables was a tiny bit loose, hardly at all. Not loose enough it should have caused any problems, but that's the only thing he could figure out. He tightened it, and so far the car has started both times I've started it today. I hope that's all that's wrong with it.

Hmmm, did I ever make any posts about those new Quizno's Subs commercials? I've been meaning to, but I don't remember if I did. Anyway, everyone I know is talking about those new commercials they have with the singing things. Everyone also has a different opinion on what those things are supposed to be. Some of my friends commented that for some reason the commercials seemed familiar, but they couldn't think why. Why is because those things, called The Spongemonkeys, are originally from a website I posted on here a couple of times a few months ago. A site with lots of funny flash animations, one of which was the Spongemonkeys singing "We like the Moon," which was changed into "We like the Subs" for the commercials.

Here's the link to the site: Rathergood.com - The Lair of the Crab of Ineffable Wisdom
And here's the link to the Spongemonkeys cartoon: We Like the Moon!

I'm so glad I switched to day shift, even though I don't have as much free time now. I like day shift a lot better than night shift now. It's just a whole lot less boring, and most of the day crew employees, the ones in the kitchen at least, actually know what they are doing. I do miss working with Stacy though. The other night I went up to Carl's for a couple of hours, and talked to her and Daniel. It was great. She's so cute, and beautiful, and sweet.

Ugh, I'm getting very tired, and it's only 7:15.

I think that's all for now, I'm gonna go read some more.

Welcome to PhoneActress...The Leading PhoneSex Employment Site....Start working in the phone sex industry

Monday, February 09, 2004

CNN.com - Tamagotchi digital pets to return, and this time they breed - Feb. 5, 2004 Cool, I used to have a tamagotchi. Until I took it apart a few years ago.

Sunday, February 08, 2004

The House of 1000 Corpses
Rob Zombie

She got a corpse
Under her bed
She had her fun
But now he's dead
Her momma said
Come feed desire
Her brother said
Hey, throw him on the fire

This is the house
Come on in
This is the house
Built on Sin
This is the house
Nobody lives
This is the house
You get what you give

I cut the flesh
And make it bleed
Fresh skin
Is what I need
I let it dry
Out in the wood
All your crying
Did no good, yeah

Now you're lying
On the floor
Yeah, you can't
Take anymore
The devil's laughing
In your face
Give me another taste, yeah

This is the house
Come on in
This is the house
Built on Sin
This is the house
Nobody lives
This is the house
You get what you give

The Face on Janet Jackson's Nipple A new conspiracy theory. Dude, it's staring at me.

Friday, February 06, 2004

Snowman Porn

Thursday, February 05, 2004

The Boxer
Simon and Garfunkel

I am just a poor boy
Though my story's seldom told
I have squandered my resistance
For a pocket full of mumbles such are promises
All lies and jests
Still a man hears what he wants to hear
And disregards the rest

When I left my home and my family
I was no more than a boy
In the company of strangers
In the quiet of the railway station running scared
Laying low, seeking out the poorer quarters
Where the ragged people go
Looking for the places only they would know
Lie la lie ...

Asking only workman's wages
I come looking for a job
But I get no offers,
Just a come-on from the whores on Seventh Avenue
I do declare, there were times when I was so lonesome
I took some comfort there
Lie la lie ...

Then I'm laying out my winter clothes
And wishing I was gone
Going home
Where the New York City winters aren't bleeding me
Bleeding me, going home

In the clearing stands a boxer
And a fighter by his trade
And he carries the reminders
Of ev'ry glove that layed him down
Or cut him till he cried out
In his anger and his shame
"I am leaving, I am leaving"
But the fighter still remains
Lie la lie ...

Rules for Being a Republican

nbc6.net - News - Cubans Trying To Reach Florida In Floating Car Being Returned

This story was referred to in this amusing, but very true, post by Owain (?) over at Jessica Asche, Will you Marry Me?

I have long felt that if you show a certain persistence or ingenuity in trying to sneak into America, you should be allowed to stay, because you have demonstrated the qualities that Americans claim to hold dear. I once worked with a Mexican bloke who had been deported from the United States no less than six times, only to sneak back in and go back to work -- busting his ass in kitchens. Clearly this is a bloke who exemplifies the American spirit. How many natural-born Americans would do fuck all other than die if they were to be deported just once?
I think once you've snuck into the United States six times, they should just automatically make you a citizen.
Unless, of course, you're able to sail across the ocean in a 1950s Buick. That shows true ingenuity. For that, citizenship should be automatic and you should be handed a $1 million cheque.


I never thought of it that way, but he's got a good point.

And THIS has a good point as well:


One of the Biblical signs of Armageddon: Li'l G n' R First ever Guns N' Roses kids tribute band.

Yahoo! News - German Anatomist's Corpse Exhibit Blasted Kick ass, I've seen pictures of this before, and it's so cool. I would love to go see this exhibit.

BODYWORLDS-Home Here's the official site for the exhibits.

This is just weird. Kinda weird and gross, but also funny. cursedbreasts.gif (GIF Image, 600x490 pixels)

After seeing the Parasite Pals page, Melissa felt the need to sing a touching tribute to her tapeworm:

missy_custer: oh me and my tapeworm go on many adventures
missy_custer: me and my tapeworm are very much in love
missy_custer: tapeworm and i fit like a hand in the glove
missy_custer: ohhhh tapeworm i love ya!
missy_custer: tapeworm when you attack my tummy
missy_custer: i fall in love like an obsessed dummy
missy_custer: poooo like i never did before
missy_custer: oh baby, tapeworm, i want more
missy_custer: taaaapeworm, you're the one for me
missy_custer: taaaaapeworm, you suit me to a T
missy_custer: taaaaaapeworm, it's forever....
missy_custer: taaaaapeworm, let's stay together!!!!
missy_custer: baby, you know it's trueeee
missy_custer: that i've fallen in love with youuuu
missy_custer: you infected me with your passion
missy_custer: now my insides are really thrashing!
missy_custer: taaaapewooooormmmmm

Wasn't that moving? It moved me to go take a crap.

Random thing I just remembered after looking at a picture of a naked Japanese girl: At the Taste Of China restaurant I go to, someone has written on one of the men's room stall walls, "If you think Chinese food is good, wait until you taste Chinese pussy." It's been there for at least a year, and never has been removed or painted over.

Here's some Parasite Pals merchandise available from Archie McPhee. Welcome to Archie McPhee Online

Mmmmm... porn.

Parasite Pals Super Fun Site

"One day Holly was a lonely girl with not the friend.
But she notice a feeling of itching on the head so she must attend doctor.
The doctor tells of the infection of many parasites.
He give the pills for removal of parasites, but Holly is sad. Why to kill the parasites?
So she gave them each a name and she became happy.
The Parasite Pals give some irritation, but much fun and love is to be shared."

Man, I wish I could come up with shit like this. Really. My favorite animation is the tapeworm eating the burger that falls into her stomach whole.

Wednesday, February 04, 2004

SeeMeRot.com - CoffinCam! Hoax or not? It would be cool if it was real, but I doubt it is. For one, she doesn't look like she was 41 years old when she died, like they say she was, and also, she's been dead for almost a year, she shouldn't still look that good.

Dave Barry on Microsoft:

"Microsoft's No. 1 product is Windows, which now comes automatically installed on every computer in the world and many kitchen appliances. Technically, Windows is an 'operating system,' which means that it supplies your computer with the basic commands that it needs to suddenly, with no warning whatsoever, stop operating.

"I speak from experience here. Many a time I have spent hours writing a serious and thoughtful column on an important issue, only to have Windows -- which is often referred to as 'the French labor union of software' -- get into a snit and call a general computer strike that erases all my work moments before deadline, leaving me with no choice but to bang out a highly inaccurate column such as this one. "

Lance Arthur writes:

Janet Jackson's tits are real. I would have said that this was all a publicity stunt and it was meant to happen, because how could Justin "accidentally" tear off her breast cover? He reached right over, and she let him, and he grabbed it and pulled and look, nipple! And, better even than that, nipple hardware! And then he's all "sorry about the wardrobe malfunction, yo," and MTV is all, "well, (shrug), we didn't know that was going to happen," and CBS is all "hey, they did it! not us. it was them" and shit and whatever and like, okay, so let's throw a hissy fit. And then America is all, "Hey, boob!" and the FCC Chairman is all "I am highly offended and deeply aroused," and Janet's all, "I have a new album coming out and my new single drops on Monday and how can I get some free publicity?" and I'm all, "Wait, what? Was that a... that was her... am I in fucking France or something?"

Sure it's a tit, but it's a celebrity tit! On the most widely-watched spectacle on TV! In Prime Time! And it's a Jackson! So, that's all important to remember. And also: So, what was supposed to happen? Justin was going to reach over and grab her breast cover and pull and it reveals a diorama in support of our troops in Iraq as he sings "you're gonna be all nekkid and shit when I do this, yo," (I think he says "yo" all the time) and her chest heaves and cannons fire and skywrite 'marriage should be between a man and a woman's right breast' and she goes on to sing another fucking medley of her hits from two years ago?


A Thai man was mauled when he drunkenly tried to sexually attack a dog that fiercely resisted his advances.

Police in Samut Prakan province, on Bangkok's south-eastern fringes, told the Thai Rath newspaper that Toryip Rawang, 33, had been drinking heavily with friends before Monday's incident. The bloodied man was questioned by police after residents notified local authorities when they saw him walking along a road.

He told police he noticed a brown female stray dog wagging its tail and "acting sexy" and pulled it into some tall grass by the roadside.

But the dog resisted, biting him on his face, chest and arms before he gave up his attempt and tried to stagger home.

Under further questioning he admitted to raping three dogs previously while he was under the influence of alcohol.

He told police he always became aroused when he drank heavily but did not have enough money to pay a prostitute.

Police said the man was given a rabies shot and was not charged with a crime, but he had fled his home in an apparent effort to avoid public ridicule.

NEWS.com.au | Surgery for two-headed baby (February 5, 2004)

Surgery for two-headed baby
From correspondents in Santo Domingo
February 5, 2004

A DOMINICAN infant born with a second head will undergo a risky operation on Friday when surgeons try to sever the appendage and prevent haemorrhaging from shared arteries.

Led by a Los Angles-based neurosurgeon who separated Guatemalan twins, a medical team will spend about 13 hours removing Rebeca Martinez's second head, which has a partially formed brain, ears, eyes and lips.

Tuesday, February 03, 2004

Ok, I'm working on a story version of the weird day I had today, but that may take a few days to complete, if I complete it at all. So here's a shorter version of my day.

Yesterday I wanted to go to CompUSA, but it's about an hour's drive, so I didn't want to go after work, so instead I decided to go today. So this morning I got up at 8:00am and got online for a while. Then I decided to shower and stuff and then go to CompUSA. First I went to Carl's Jr. to get some breakfast. While I was there Daniel asked if I wanted to play Halo with everyone tonight at Phillip's house. I said yes, but I don't know where Phillip lives now because he moved a while back, so Daniel tells me that Phillip gets off work at 4, and I can just follow him home when he does. So then I go to CompUSA. I looked around CompUSA for about an hour, and picked out a couple of small things I was going to buy, but then my compulsive buying habits got the best of me. I'm trying to save my money, and have been doing a good job of it, but then I decided I would buy an iPod. I've been putting it off for a year or so, and couldn't put it off any longer. I rationalized spending $400 dollars by remembering that I will be getting a tax refund soon that should cover most of that. So I put back the few small things, and bought a 20GB iPod for $399. I got home at 2:00, and opened the iPod up, and hooked it up to my computer so it could charge, and load all the songs from my computer. I have no idea how long it's going to take, so I just leave it there loading and charging, while I go vote in today's Primary and then get a haircut. I get back about 3:15, and the thing is still loading and charging. I finally find the area about charging in the manual and it says something that makes no sense at all. It says that the iPod will be 80% charged in one hour, and will be fully charged in four. Why does that last 20% take 3 hours? I still don't know how long it will take to load all the songs though. I only have 913 songs, the iPod can hold 5,000. I was hoping it would all be done in time for me to be able to take it over to Phillip's tonight. But when it's still not done at 3:45, I have to leave without it. I go up to Carl's to meet Phillip, but he's not there, him and Crystal had to go somewhere first, but will be back in a few minutes. While I'm waiting, I suddenly think, "I wonder how far along Crystal's pregnancy is? It would suck if we all got over there tonight, and she went into labor."

Have I ever mentioned that I'm pyschic sometimes?

So we go over to Phillip's and we wait for a few minutes for Murray to get there. Then we all play with Olivia's new puppy for a while, while Daniel, Phillip, and Allen try to change a tire on Phillip's truck. It took them about an hour. Toward the end, me, Olivia, and Murray go inside, and start playing video games by ourselves. Apparently while we're doing this, they get done with the tire, and Allen leaves. So then a few minutes later, the three of us are still playing games when Phillip and Crystal run in and go off to their bedroom and bathroom. I'm not really paying attention, because I'm playing a game, but I can tell that apparently something is starting to happen. Then Phillip yells that he's gonna have to go to the hospital, and I figure that he hurt his hand or something changing the tire, but then him and Crystal rush around to leave, and Daniel offers to drive them both in his car. I ask what's going on, and they tell me that Crystal's "having problems" and needs to go to the hospital, meaning pregnancy related problems. For some reason Daniel drives them, leaving Olivia there. So it's me, Olivia, and Murray still there playing video games. About 15 minutes or so later, Olivia gets about three or four calls on her cell phone. She says that they've put her in the hospital, and they think she's going to have the baby, but that it may just be false labor caused by stress. So it's obvious we aren't going to be playing Halo, so Murray leaves. Allen is on his way to give Olivia key's to Phillip's truck, so she can drive it up to the hospital. When he gets there, both me and Olivia leave. Her to the Hospital, and me home.

Update: About 8:40, as I was writing this, Daniel called and said that Crystal had the baby. They got to the hospital, and the baby was in breech, so they did a c-section. It's a boy, and they named it Allen Roger Warren, after Crystal's father and Phillip's father.

Monday, February 02, 2004

Current Music: "Hit & Run Holiday" by My Life with the Thrill Kill Kult

Grrr, I'm in a bad mood now. Tonight sucks.

I hate people.

I haven't been in one of these moods in a long time. And like usual when I'm in one of these moods, it's because of a girl. Well, it's more my fault than the girl's, but still.

Damn shyness.

Damn other people.

If I still had any faith in humanity left after the Nobel Prize thing yesterday, it would definitely be gone today, after the way everyone is acting over the whole Janet Jackson thing. Get over it people. I'm not even going to talk about it, if you aren't sick of it by now, and really want to read more about it, go to Alicia's Blog, she has stuff all about it. She thinks it was like the greatest thing in the history of the world or something. I don't even want to think about it, I hate that I even mentioned it.

Sunday, February 01, 2004

Current Music: Brak singing "Don't Touch Me!"

I have lost all of what little faith I had in humanity. This is the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard. President Bush, and his little lap-dog, Tony Blair, are both nominees for the Nobel Peace Prize. All Bush has done since he entered office is start wars. And Blair has eagerly went along with everything Bush says. But the (stupid) reasoning is that by fighting against terrorism, and removing Saddam from power, they have done much to create peace. Bah! I am full of hate and bile now.

Wil Wheaton has invented a new word, which I am going to start using, "gargabage." It was born in this paragraph taken from his web site:
I have this compulsion to write and create. This is good, because I'm supposed to run in a manuscript of Just A Geek RSN . . . but I'm really only good for about 2 hours a day. Longer than that, and my brain just churns out garbage. Sometimes and there's value to garbage: It's easier to rewrite garbage than fill up a blank page, but more often than not, the gargabage* is just garbage.

*(that was supposed to say "garbage," but "gargabage" is such a wonderful word, and so perfectly descriptive, I'm leaving this happy accident intact.)

I agree, that is a very wonderful word. And, by looking at the way it was used in that paragraph, I have come up with a definition. Gargabage is anything that is worse than garbage, something that has no redeeming qualities whatsoever. The word is also very reminiscent of "Gargamel" from The Smurfs.

Bush being nominated for a Nobel Peace Prize is gargabage.

The Failure of Man.

SlinkaScape A sexy cool blog I have just discovered.

This is a cool little not-really-good-for-anything-useful thing: Visited States Lets you make a map that highlights the states you have visited. Here is mine. This is the states I have been too, including the one I live in, but not counting the states I've just passed through, or had a short stopover in, on the bus trip.



create your own visited states map
or check out these Google Hacks.

Also available is Visited Countries, which has no use for me, as I have never been to any other countries. Though, hopefully, one day soon Japan will be in red on my Visited Countries map.

Also on the same site, check out these Google Hacks.

The Democratic Candidates and their Cartoon Equivalents.

The Jean-Paul Sartre Cookbook The long version of an article I've read before and have on my computer somewhere. I prefer the shorter version, but this one is pretty funny anyway.

I didn't get to write yesterday, because yesterday sucked. I didn't get to do anything yesterday. As soon as I walked in the house when I got home from work, my mom said "Hurry and change clothes, I need you to go with me to the dentist." She's been having a lot of pain from one of her teeth the last week or so, and it got so bad she just sat down with the phonebook and tried to find anywhere that was open Saturday and could fit her in. She finally found one about 40 miles away in Oklahoma City. She needed me to go with her so I could drive us back if she was in too much pain or something to drive back. They ended up having to do a root canal, so we were there for about three hours. By the time we got back home it was 8:30pm. We ordered some pizza, and so then by the time we ate it was a little after 9:00, and the last time I had gotten to eat anything the whole day was when I went on break at work at 9:30am. Then I was so tired I went to bed at 10:30. I was barely able to stay awake that late. I can't believe how early I've been going to bed the last few nights. I haven't gone to bed this early in probably almost ten years.

The last two days at work have been fun, because I've gotten to work with Alicia both days. I haven't worked with her in a long time. It's fun. She's weird. And being around her makes me weird. I was very weird at work today. Yesterday I was talking about eating goats all morning, and then, I swear this is true, a couple came through drive-thru, and the lady in the passenger seat was holding a baby goat in her lap. It started bleating at me, in this cute little high-pitched bleat. I could barely take their money, because I was trying not to laugh. Even worse, Alicia was trying to take someone else's order over the headset, but she was laughing too hard. She finally had to kinda duck down so she couldn't see the goat anymore. Seeing goats in the drive-thru isn't that odd around here, it happens all the time. But they're usually in cages in the back of the truck, not sitting in a person's lap. It was a cute baby goat. It looked delicious. Just like Alicia's dog. Just thinking of Alicia's big, fat, meaty, dog makes my mouth water. I want to smother it in BBQ sauce and eat it. She said today that if I put BBQ sauce on it, it would probably eat itself, it is so fat.

The goat incident also reminds me of the time a woman came through drive-thru, and there was a sock on the seat next to her. This isn't that weird. What was weird was that the sock was moving. A lot. Finally I asked her what was in the sock. And she said it was a snake. That's where she keeps her snake, in a big sock with the end tied.

Today was even more fun than yesterday, because today was really slow, so me, Alicia, and Kim just stood around goofing off most of the day.

Well, I have to go now, I'm going to finish the third chapter of my PCDI Small Business Management course. I've put this chapter off for about a week. I was going to do it yesterday, but didn't get to.

This was a very long post. The longest one in a long time.