Strange Things are Afoot at the Circle K.: Damn...

Tuesday, November 23, 2004

Damn...

Well, I was going to get drunk, but for some reason I got sick after two drinks. I wasn't even drunk yet. I suddenly got bad sharp pains in my stomach and lower back. Kinda like that time I drank too much Everclear and felt like I was going to die.

So, looks like drinking's out for the night. At least I'm in a better mood now anyway.

Here's something Alicia sent me earlier:

Accidently Dirty Thanksgiving sayings:
10. "Talk about a huge breast!"
9. "It's a little dry, do you still want to eat it?"
8. "Don't play with your meat."
7. "Just spread the legs open & stuff it in."
6. "I didn't expect everyone to come at once!"
5. "You still have a little bit on your chin."
4. "How long will it take after you stick it in?"
3. "You'll know it's ready when it pops up."
2. "That's the biggest one I've ever seen!"
1. "How long do I beat it before it's ready?"

My favorites are 9 and 6.

And here's something funny from the always hilarious Sweat Flavored Gummi: A post by her chihuahua.

Don't you hate it when your owners drag you to the veterinarian's ramshackle smelly laboratory only to get a rabies vaccination that leaves you broken out in hives and making snow angels on the natural fiber rug to itch those places you cannot itch yourself? Sure, I let them call me Fruitcake, FrankenFoot, Boogie Shoes, Peanut Butter and Jelly, Poochie Yum Yums, Boo Boo, and the list goes on, but this? This weekend was sucky. Im 21, I can say that. My third rabies shot and this was the worst breakout yet. They called my Bumpy Head. And made me take all that Benadryl cherry crap, they know I hate that. I scratched that little one good, I did. Sure, then I got treats and a washcloth on my head and pizza crusts, but how could they bring me to that smelly man vet? They say they are never going to bring me there again because they told him over and over again how I react to such nasty shots. But that evil smelly gave me a shot of something that made me very uncomfortable and I couldn't nap and things were moving and I wasn't and it made me feel weird and I got bumpy head anyway, for two days this time. Poor babies, they said. Poor Little Bits. Yeah well Im not going to go through that again, no way. Im going to sit right here on my five down filled pillows and chew my Kong and bark as I please. I deserve it. I am queen of this house, ladies. Where are those Beggin' Strips? I see you over there watching tv, Im talking to you. Treats! Now! Woof! Fine, I'll just take a nap now and when I get more bumps later, those treats will be talking the talk and walking the walk. Yeah. Woof.