Strange Things are Afoot at the Circle K.: November 2004

Sunday, November 28, 2004

Secret messages in spam mail?

I just got a really weird junk email. Well, there's nothing wrong with the main part of the email, it's just an average spam mail trying to sell me prescription drugs like Viagra and Vicodin. But you know how now they often put sentences or paragraphs of random words to try to get it past your spam filter by making it look more like a real message? That's what's weird on this one. It seems like there may be a hidden message in it. It reads:

in 1994 It's O.K. I object to... All your base are belong to us

in 1961 Shannon Elisabeth

In the first part I'm thinking that maybe the O.K. could be referring to OK, or, Oklahoma. 1994 is the year that the Murrah Federal Building was bombed in Oklahoma. And since it was a federal building that got bombed, "All your base are bleong to us," seems somewhat appropriate, especially when you consider the next line of that phrase. "Someone set us up the bomb."

The Shannon Elisabeth comment I don't understand at all. Of course, maybe if I knew more about her and what she's been in, I would. I don't even know who she is, other than that she's an actress. I ran a quick Google search though, and found out that she wasn't even alive in 1961. And now upon looking at a quick list of her best known movies, I can't think of anything for them that would involve 1961. It looks like the only thing I've ever seen her in is Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back. I've never seen American Pie, or That Seventies Show. Hey, she did live in Waco, Texas for a while, which is of course where that whole David Koresh, Branch Davidian thing happened. But that's really stretching it.

Or maybe I'm just a little too paranoid.

Tuesday, November 23, 2004

I am retarded.

Earlier, while standing in front of the bathroom mirror, I put a golf ball in my underwear, and then pulled the underwear tight, so that it looked like I had three testicles.

And that was before I started drinking.


Well, I was going to get drunk, but for some reason I got sick after two drinks. I wasn't even drunk yet. I suddenly got bad sharp pains in my stomach and lower back. Kinda like that time I drank too much Everclear and felt like I was going to die.

So, looks like drinking's out for the night. At least I'm in a better mood now anyway.

Here's something Alicia sent me earlier:

Accidently Dirty Thanksgiving sayings:
10. "Talk about a huge breast!"
9. "It's a little dry, do you still want to eat it?"
8. "Don't play with your meat."
7. "Just spread the legs open & stuff it in."
6. "I didn't expect everyone to come at once!"
5. "You still have a little bit on your chin."
4. "How long will it take after you stick it in?"
3. "You'll know it's ready when it pops up."
2. "That's the biggest one I've ever seen!"
1. "How long do I beat it before it's ready?"

My favorites are 9 and 6.

And here's something funny from the always hilarious Sweat Flavored Gummi: A post by her chihuahua.

Don't you hate it when your owners drag you to the veterinarian's ramshackle smelly laboratory only to get a rabies vaccination that leaves you broken out in hives and making snow angels on the natural fiber rug to itch those places you cannot itch yourself? Sure, I let them call me Fruitcake, FrankenFoot, Boogie Shoes, Peanut Butter and Jelly, Poochie Yum Yums, Boo Boo, and the list goes on, but this? This weekend was sucky. Im 21, I can say that. My third rabies shot and this was the worst breakout yet. They called my Bumpy Head. And made me take all that Benadryl cherry crap, they know I hate that. I scratched that little one good, I did. Sure, then I got treats and a washcloth on my head and pizza crusts, but how could they bring me to that smelly man vet? They say they are never going to bring me there again because they told him over and over again how I react to such nasty shots. But that evil smelly gave me a shot of something that made me very uncomfortable and I couldn't nap and things were moving and I wasn't and it made me feel weird and I got bumpy head anyway, for two days this time. Poor babies, they said. Poor Little Bits. Yeah well Im not going to go through that again, no way. Im going to sit right here on my five down filled pillows and chew my Kong and bark as I please. I deserve it. I am queen of this house, ladies. Where are those Beggin' Strips? I see you over there watching tv, Im talking to you. Treats! Now! Woof! Fine, I'll just take a nap now and when I get more bumps later, those treats will be talking the talk and walking the walk. Yeah. Woof.


I had a really weird dream Sunday night. It was about Kristina, the girl I dated for a short time almost three years ago. First, in order to understand the dream, a little bit of backstory is needed. I will tell more than is needed though, because I've never really talked about her on here much.

A few years ago, it will be three years sometime in March, I think, I went to visit Chris at the Naval base he was stationed at in Nevada. Yes, a naval base in the middle of the desert. Don't ask why, or you might get a visit from your friendly neighborhood Men In Black. And I'm not talking about the good kind, like portrayed in the movie of that name. Anyway, I went to spend a week or so with him, and his wife at the time, Carrie. (That's right isn't it? I'm so bad at names, I often wonder if I'm getting people's names wrong, even if I've known them for a long time, it's just a phobia I have.) I was going to take the Greyhound bus, and also, one of Carrie's friends were going also, this was Kristina. Kristina wanted me to buy her ticket for her, while I was buying mine, because I think there was a sale or something of some kind, and she would pay me back when we met on the bus ride. I'd never really met her before, I'd just kinda seen her around once or twice. I went to get my ticket, and buy one for her as well, but they informed me that you aren't allowed to buy tickets for other people, unless they're your spouse, or immediate family. So the ticket guy had the idea of putting her name on the ticket as "Kristina Underwood," and we could pretend we were married, and that way I could buy the ticket. Not knowing what else to do, I agreed, even though it was embarrassing. We had a good laugh about it when the time came for the bus ride. It was a little awkward at first, especially with my shyness... being forced into traveling with some girl I didn't know, but over the course of the very long (overnight and everything) bus trip, I kinda started to like her, especially when she rested her head on my shoulder and went to sleep. I love it when girls rest their head on my shoulder, though it's only happened a few times.

Fuck, not to sound melodramatic or anything, but I'm gonna need a drink if I'm going to go on with this. I was already feeling depressed today anyway, and this isn't helping...

I just did a shot of vodka. And I never do shots.

So anyway, after the bus trip, came about two weeks of living together with her. Granted she wasn't there a lot of the time, because her and Carrie were out doing stuff a lot of the time, but still. We were sleeping on the floor just a few feet from each other a lot of the time, and being in close quarters like that, I started to really like her. Of course, I'm such a lonely desperate person, I fall in love with any girl that shows me the slightest bit of attention whatsoever. I can barely go through a checkout at the store if there's a girl working the register without developing a crush on her, for at least an hour or so anyway. It passes quickly too. When feelings of love come so easily, it's easy to reassign them to another target, or to forget them completely. There's only ever been one girl that I can't make myself stop loving, no matter what I do. And no, it's not Kristina.

So, towards the end of our visit, Chris asked me if I liked Kristina, because him and Carrie thought maybe I did. I told him I did, and so then this whole thing of messages being passed between me and Kristina through Chris and Carrie started happening, because I'm too shy. So, in the end, I was told that yes, Kristina wanted to go out with me, though I had to ask her myself or she wouldn't. I finally on about the last day of our time together, in fact, it was during the drive back (Chris and Carrie were coming back to Oklahoma too, so we were all driving back together in their vehicles). So we went out like a total of four times, once or twice it was a double date thing with Chris and Carrie. It was the second date before I even touched Kristina, I learned from Carrie that Kristina was starting to get annoyed and wondering what was going on, why I never held her hand or did anything. For example, our first date was dinner at Olive Garden, and a movie. The movie was "Forty Days and Forty Nights," a movie about sex, and the whole date, I never tried to put the moves on her or anything, never even tried to hold her hand, or put my arm around her or anything. Now that I know more about Kristina, I realize that she was the kind of girl who would've probably gone down on me right there in the theater. Not that I'd ever do that. Our second date was the double date with Chris and Carrie. The girls made us go to some country-western club. They had to lie to me to get me to go. If I'd known it was country, I would've refused. Luckily, they didn't make us dance. We played pool mostly. It was a pretty long drive to get there, and on the drive there, after 30 minutes of sweating it, I finally got up the nerve to reach over and hold her hand. I was so nervous I almost threw up. Yes, I am that pathetic. What's even more pathetic is that I was 22 at this time, and it was the first time I'd ever held a girl's hand. Then, when we were at the club, we sat there, and I sat behind her, and I put my arms around her, and we sat there like that for a while. Finally, I kissed her on the back of her neck. Then at the end of the date she gave me a kiss, on the cheek. I found out a few days later though, from Chris and Carrie, that she was mad, because she hadn't wanted to kiss me on the cheek, she wanted to kiss me on the mouth, but apparently I turned my head slightly, because I assumed she was going to kiss me on the cheek.

The next two dates. The last two dates. We ended up at the lake, having sex in the back seat of my car. I don't know what happened then. After the fourth date, she just stopped taking my calls. The girl she lived with would answer the phone, and say that Kristina wasn't there, and that she'd call me back. But she never did. This went on for close to a month before I finally took the hint and stopped calling. At the end of the fourth date she told me that she wasn't looking for a relationship or anything, she just wanted someone to have sex with once every week or two. I told her a was fine with that, though I really wasn't. But I never saw her again. I assume that was the reason, she thought I was falling in love with her or something, and didn't want that. I must say, in order to help stoke my frail ego, that I don't think it had anything to do with the sex being bad or anything. In fact, both times we had sex, she kept saying that I was really good, she couldn't believe I'd never had sex before. In fact, she even told other people that I was really good. I heard this from Chris' MOM. Kristina was friends with his mom, and one day I was over there, and Chris' mom, in front of everyone, said "So, Kristina told us something about you." And Chris, joking says, "What, that he's good in bed?" and starts laughing, and his mom was like "Actually, yes, she said she couldn't believe he'd never had sex before." It was very embarrassing.

So, from this point I never heard from her again. I never knew what happened, or why she stopped taking my calls. And too this day I still have no idea. I've never even seen her around town or anything. I've only seen her once since that last date. A few months later I was over at Chris' mom's house again, visiting him and Carrie because he was home on leave again, and Carrie came in with Kristina. Luckily, they went back into another room together to talk or something. So I didn't have to decide what to do or say. We both just acted like the other wasn't there the whole time.

Oh, also, not too long after that last time I saw Kristina, Carrie and Chris got divorced. It turns out she'd been cheating on him, a lot. She'd been going out partying and stuff and cheating on him.

Ok, so finally, the dream. In a way, the dream provided the closure I never got in real life. Sadly, I don't remember most of the dream, I mainly just remember the very end. I know this makes it annoying to have to hear about, but I don't care. So in the dream, me and Kristina were having to be around each other for some reason, working together, or something. And so we were talking to each other again. Not really being really friendly or anything, but talking and stuff. Then I went home, and I was sending her some IMs for some reason, mostly just links to stuff I thought she'd think was funny. Then I had to go back to where she was to get something from her. And so I got whatever it was, I think it was a book, and then we just kinda stood there in awkward silence for a while. Then this conversation took place:

Her: So what's going on here?
Me: What do you mean?
Her: Like these IM's and stuff.
Me: What, they're just things I thought you would think were funny!
Her: Why won't you just admit you still love me!
Me: Because I don't love you! Because you never loved me!
Her: (kinda hangs her head) That's true. I'm sorry.

And, unfortunately, my alarm went off right there, and woke me up. I wish I could've seen what would happen next.

And now, an hour, and two drinks later, this huge post is done.

Fishermen and Hunters are destroying the environment.

Straight Dope Staff Report: Do lead fishing sinkers threaten the environment?

I want all of these!

Monty Python Dolls and Action Figures

10 things the Chinese do far better than we do

From cells to bells, 10 things the Chinese do far better than we do A comparative list compiled by JAN WONG @

100 Things Every Guy Must Know

100 Things Every Guy Must Know, From Maxim magazine.
"As a guy, you’re expected to know a lot about a lot of things. But who has time to sift through all the crap of the information age and uncover the really critical stuff—like what to do if you’re snake-bit, the long-lost lyrics to the Bonanza theme song, and the final word on one-handed bra unfastening? We combed a million sources to compile this definitive list and had one hell of a lot of fun doing it. From the practical to the intriguing to the sublime, here are more than 100 things we think you’ll be very glad to know."

Pretty worthless list if you ask me. Of course it was in the "Stupid Fun" catagory. To me, the best things on there were the useless trivia, which if it's useless, why is it in a list of things a guy "must know"?

On the Utility of Minneapolis-St. Paul as a Base of Operations for Various Well-Known Superheroes or Super Teams.

McSweeney's Internet Tendency: On the Utility of Minneapolis-St. Paul as a Base of Operations for Various Well-Known Superheroes or Super Teams.

On the Utility of Minneapolis-St. Paul as a Base of Operations for Various Well-Known Superheroes
or Super Teams.

- - - -

Spider-Man: Poor. The lack of a single, concentrated downtown area would greatly hinder Spider-Man's preferred method of transportation. Given that there's not much higher than three stories after you get out of the two downtowns, swinging from building to building isn't going to work. It's not difficult to imagine Spider-Man standing on Nicollet Mall in downtown Minneapolis, hearing that thugs have taken over the Xcel Center over in St. Paul, and cursing under his breath as he runs to I-94, forced to affix a web to the top of a bus and ride it across town.

The X-Men: So-so. Their initial problem would be that no one around here seems to have much of a problem with mutants. With no one trying to wipe them out, the X-Men would lose some of their edge. They would run the risk of turning into hypersensitive college kids who go around looking for the slightest excuse to be outraged.

They'd have more of a reason to stick around, though, after the inevitable burst of mutant jokes on the local classic-rock morning show. Those guys can be very cruel.

Batman: Also so-so. No real deal-breakers to Batman setting up shop here, but lots of annoying obstacles: lack of dramatic places to stand and brood over the cityscape; difficulty of driving the Batmobile at high speeds through some of the St. Paul street vortices (watch the ice on the road!); necessity of getting cozy with two police chiefs instead of one commissioner; and lack of a paralyzing, all-pervading criminal culture (although he'd be welcome to come to my neighborhood, starting with the three middle-aged fat guys who think riding little putt-putt scooters three abreast at 20 mph down Minnehaha Parkway is AWESOME).

Superman: No problem.

The Incredible Hulk: No problem. Hulk's in the Superman club. When your main thing is smashing things, location is less of a factor. Hulk could smash very effectively in Falcon Heights, for example.

Wonder Woman: Poor. People around here just wouldn't cotton to a woman dressed like that, especially one carrying a magic lasso. Well, some folks would like that quite a bit, but some would make a stink about it.

Aquaman: Most people seem to like him, but Garrison doesn't, so it's a no-go.

Monday, November 22, 2004


I have several interesting links today. And I got all of them from *.*, a good site for interesting links.

Hopkin Explained - The interesting, and somewhat sad, story of the lost frog posters that became big news on the internet. (I've never heard of them before, but apparently, many people have.)

Tokyo's Sewers - (Description from *.*) "Tokyo is an impressive city above ground, but one of the most incredible things about this city is it's mind-bogglingly complex underground. The G-Cans Project is a massive project, begun 12 years ago, to build infrastructure for preventing overflow of the major rivers and waterways spidering the city (A serious problem for Tokyo during rainy-season and typhoon season). The underground waterway is the largest in the world and sports five 32m diameter, 65m deep concrete containment silos which are connected by 64 kilometers of tunnel sitting 50 meters beneath the surface.

The whole system is powered by 14000 horsepower turbines which can pump 200 tons of water a second into the large outlying edogawa river. I'm in the middle of playing Halflife2 right now and something like this looks like its straight out of the game or some sci-fi movie. This unbelievable gallery of photos however, is not CG, it is the real deal.

The site is all in Japanese, but if you click around the menus a bit, there are animations and diagrams of how the system works, and other interesting photos of the high-tech control center and turbine facilities. Supposedly the G-Cans project is also meant to be a tourist attraction, and can be visited for free. very cool."

My Toy Sculptures: Toddlerpedes - The most disturbing things I have ever seen. Sculptures made out of baby doll body parts.

Norman Roswell - What if Norman Rockwell had been an Alien?

Sunday, November 21, 2004

As coisas estranhas são afoot no círculo K.

I found this tonight in my referrals list. Someone used one of those translation sites to see my site in... some other language. I think it's Italian. At first glance it looks like it's Spanish, but it's not. So I figure maybe it's Italian. Italian and Spanish are very similar.

As coisas estranhas são afoot no círculo K.

Also, if you scroll down to the other posts, you can see the lyrics to "Everyone has had more sex than me," in whatever language this is.

Saturday, November 20, 2004

This, too, shall pass.

A student went to his meditation teacher and said, "My meditation is horrible! I feel so distracted, or my legs ache, or I'm constantly falling asleep. It's just horrible!"

"It will pass," the teacher said matter-of-factly.

A week later, the student came back to his teacher. "My meditation is wonderful! I feel so aware, so peaceful, so alive! It's just wonderful!'

"It will pass," the teacher replied matter-of-factly.

A powerful king, ruler of many domains, was in a position of such magnificence that wise men were his mere employees. And yet one day he felt himself confused and called the sages to him. He said: 'I do not know the cause, but something impels me to seek a certain ring, one that will enable me to stabilize my state. 'I must have such a ring. And this ring must be one which, when I am unhappy , will make me joyful. At the same time, if I am happy and look upon it, I must be made sad.' The wise men consulted one another, and threw themselves into deep contemplation, and finally they came to a decision as to the character of this ring which would suit their king. The ring which they devised was one upon which was inscribed the legend: THIS TOO, SHALL PASS.

I wish I were drunk.

Seriously, I need a drink. It's too late now though, it's almost bed time. Too bad I didn't think of it earlier, I've got some vodka I could've gotten drunk with.

I think that's what I've been needing for the last few days, is a really strong drink, but I just now figured it out.

Oh well, there's always tomorrow.

I'm not depressed or in a bad mood or anything, though I was for a while this morning. I just need to get drunk for a while.

Goodle Good News

Goodle: Good News

Funny site.

You will never own me.

By Tony Pierce

dear big brother,

you will never own me.

fine murdoch and disney and viacom and clear channel.

fuck if i care. in fact if you want me to list other rich white men that you should fine i think i could do that for you.


the way i see it these are your last days of disco anyways so party up.

the kids are about to take over and the kids arent buying your bullshit that obscene language or nipples actually cause any damage on anyone. especially kids.

what causes damage to people are

other people

titties and nipples arent even in the top forty.

neither is the word fuck.

the kids know this.

you know it too but you pretend not to.

and that would make you eligible for name calling.

the kids that i speak of right now are in chat rooms, on message boards, and playing online games.

all theyre doing is talking shit to each other, insulting total strangers using foul language that immediately turns sexual in violently creative ways.

nicolette sheridans bare back means nothing to them.

and thats why i love them.

and thats why i spend each day giving them every tip that i know. and at 111 years old i have my fair share.

todays tip is

this soon shall pass.

youre old, big brother.

everything youve done these last four years have only proven that the only thing youre any good at is winning elections, dividing the nation, giving the world a reason to hate us, and killing off our brave soldiers.

piss on the constitution all you want

youre dying the same way you lived



and godlessly dishonest.

you act as if this isnt the biggest strongest greatest smartest nation


you act like you have little mans syndrome.

you act like someone is smarter than you

you act like if given a fair fight youd lose

so you cheat

and somehow you still lose.

and you'll never own me.

and when the first kid makes it to the top

and looks right in to the camera

and when that red light comes on

she'll smile and say


Friday, November 19, 2004


Chinese soy sauce made from human hair is cancer causing and restaurants throughout Japan could be using it...

Yes, that's right, some soy sauce is actually made from HUMAN HAIR. Ugh, and I love soy sauce...

Too many adjectives...

My friend Chris just told me the funniest thing. But first, some back story... Chris is pretty crazy and weird, and he's gotten reprimanded for some strange things while he's been in the Navy. Remember that list of "213 Things Skippy is no longer allowed to do in the Army"? Well, me and Chris go through that list saying that certain things on there sound like something he'd do. You've heard that expression "cusses like a sailor" or something similar? Well, Chris is in the Navy, and they ORDERED him to stop swearing so much, because he was offending the sailors. And now tonight, he tells me this:

paladix: chief told me I use too many adjectives today
paladix: he hates how I have at least one adjective in everything i say, like how i will add one to the most normal phrase in order to corrupt it to "my odd personality"
paladix: we were talking about some moron messing up and i said "that guy is the prince of glaring ignorance"
paladix: he said, that all i needed to say was schmuck, lol
paladix: lmao, i called one of the guys a masochistic cockmaster
paladix: chief choked on his coffee

That's the greatest thing ever, I wish I used too many adjectives.

Bah, humbug!

I'm seriously almost starting to hate Christmas. I love Christmas, but I'm sick of having to deal with it earlier and earlier each year. Of course, there's the well-known problem with stores putting up their Christmas stuff for sale even before Halloween, but even that's getting worse. Now they not only have the Christmas stuff for sale by then, but by a week before Halloween they've gotten rid of all the Halloween stuff to make room for the Christmas stuff. Now this year though, normal people are doing it too, not just businesses. The Loves convenience store had their Christmas decorations all over the store the day after Halloween, and some houses around town here have already had theirs up and on for a week now. The city has put up all its Christmas decorations on Main Street even. And now, one of the radio stations has declared that they are playing "Nothing but Christmas until Christmas." They are going to be a 24 hour Christmas music station for a month and a half.

It's hard to get in the Christmas spirit when it's still 60-something degrees outside, and 90% of the trees are still green and have their leaves. People are still having to mow their lawns even.

I baked a cake the other night, and it actually turned out good. Really good!

Thursday, November 18, 2004

My life as a flash animation...

This is the best flash animation I've ever seen. It's not the funniest or anything, though it is funny, but it's the best made. The animation is the most fluid, and seamless I've ever seen in a flash animation, and it all matches with the music perfectly. To prove it, just watch the part where the Zero rabbit is playing the keyboard, his hand movements are time perfectly with the music. The song is also hilarious too. I've been trying to find a site where I can download an MP3 of it, but so far I haven't found one. The subject matter and title of the song are funny too, if somewhat depressing, because I can certainly identify with the rabbit that's singing it. Oh, and be warned, it's a huge file, even with my high-speed internet, it took me almost five minutes to load it.

Everyone Else has had More Sex Than Me
The song is by the band TISM, who also sing such songs as "All Homeboys are Dickheads," "Greg! The Stop Sign!" and "Defecate on my Face."

Here's another Flash movie I just found while trying to find an MP3 of the song in the previous one. Hatten. This one is really long also, but doesn't take that long to load. I didn't think the movie was ever going to end though, it's a long song. The animation is pretty simple and crappy, but funny. And strangely, I really like the song in it. Really.

Now this one is very funny. Especially the duck part, that cracks me up. The Llama Song.

Oh, cool. I just found the lyrics to the "Everyone else has had more sex than me" song. Which is cool, because that line is basically all I could even understand of the song. The lyrics are weird, but pretty cool. Here they are:

Everyone else has had more sex than me
Does anyone else get that feeling?
Teenagers, naked, couple in threes;
Grandparents swing from the ceiling;
Corporate capers and office amour;
Shenanigans outdoor and in -
Resist, and then later you find out there's more
Regret in not doing the sin.

All loves have to die - of that there's no help;
My favourite way to end em'
Is the orb-weaver spider's, whose pedipalp
Enters the female pudendum,
Then dies on the spot, his corpse there still stuck,
Left for his rivals to curse it.
He would rather die than not get to fuck:
Personally, I reckon it's worth it.

Wednesday, November 17, 2004


Proof that bad nachos are better than no nachos. I just went to the kitchen and made what I will from now on refer to as "Ghetto Nachos." I took some tortilla chips, and a processed cheese slice, (it wasn't even Kraft, it was some store brand) and tore it up into several small pieces, which I placed on the chips, and microwaved it for a few seconds. I figured it would be nasty, but they were actually pretty good.

What the fuck? The Blogger spellchecker does not recognize the words "nachos," "tortilla," or "microwaved."

X-Box Live

I finally got connected to X-Box Live. Right before I went to bed last night, I looked at that subscription code and realized that that wasn't a 6, it was a G. It's really hard to tell. So I got connected this evening, and I've been playing Halo 2 for the last couple of hours.

My X-Box Live ID is BygoneDust, if anyone wants to find me on there. You'll know it's me, because I'll be the one that sucks. Everyone says this will improve my skills though, and so far I think it is. I've been playing in a party with Chris, and he's ranked 6, so it's been putting me in games with people who's ranks are way above mine. Which also caused me to go up really fast at first. You start off at level 1, or maybe 0, I'm not sure, but after just a couple of games, I was already up to a 3. I seem to be holding steady at a three now though. Chris just had to get off Live, so I will be playing some games of my own now, so it should match me up with people closer to my level, so maybe I'll do a little better. I'm lagging really bad sometimes. I don't think my so called high-speed internet is as fast as it should be. It's only downloading files somewhere between two and three times the speed that my dial-up connection was. I've gotten killed by the lag a couple of times. One time I was in a gun emplacement, and I was firing at a Ghost, and I was lagging, and so the Ghost was jumping around the screen so much, I couldn't even hit it, and it took me out.

In one of the games, I killed some guy named "Moe Lester" several times. That name cracks me up. I told Chris about it and he was laughing and saying "That name's just wrong."

I'm off tomorrow, so I'll probably be on Live most of the day. Unless I stay up too late playing it tonight. I think I'll just play a couple more games, and then stop.

Tuesday, November 16, 2004

Shatner Ketchup

On the site that Alicia shares with her friends,, one of her friends posted about a bottle of Heinz ketchup that on the front says "Fixes Burgers at Warp Speed," and below it says "William Shatner." Alicia is obsessesed with Shatner, so I knew she'd want one. I want one too. We got into a very funny conversation about it, I'm SqrrlODoom, by the way:

SqrrlODoom (9:10:03 PM): lmao, a Shatner ketchup bottle
Caffiene Rain (9:10:12 PM): I know, I want one!
SqrrlODoom (9:10:24 PM): If I see one I'll get it for you, lol
Caffiene Rain (9:10:35 PM): yay!
SqrrlODoom (9:11:00 PM): I hope they have two, because I want it too, lol
Caffiene Rain (9:11:15 PM): that would be the best birthday present ever
SqrrlODoom (9:11:30 PM): we can share it, we can be like a divorced couple with kids, I get the bottle one week, you get it the next, lol
SqrrlODoom (9:11:34 PM): that would be messed up, lol
Caffiene Rain (9:11:50 PM): lmao
Caffiene Rain (9:12:13 PM): then you can tell your landlady you WERE married, but we got divorced
SqrrlODoom (9:12:25 PM): we can go to court over custody of the ketchup bottle
Caffiene Rain (9:12:30 PM): lmao
SqrrlODoom (9:12:46 PM): you can have the house, but I'm keeping the Shatner ketchup!
Caffiene Rain (9:12:54 PM): LMFAO
SqrrlODoom (9:13:23 PM): wow, I laughed too hard at that, lol

Tech Trouble

God dammit, if it's not one thing, it's another. I'm about sick of this. I've been wrestling with my computer all day. Yes, physically wrestling with it. Well, some of the time at least. Running 50-feet of Ethernet cable over and behind furniture and tucking it underneath the carpet, and around corners, and tacking it to the wall over here, and trying not to trip over it here, is all pretty physical, and very close to wrestling. Or in my mind it is.

So anyway, I now have high-speed internet through the local cable company. I've had it for 11 hours now, and I'm just now getting every set up and working. A week or so ago, I received an ad from Cebridge, the local cable company, advertising this really good offer they have for high-speed internet. You have to sign up for one year, and the first six months are only $14.95 a month, and then it goes up to either $22.95, or $24.95, I forget which. Either way, that's the same as I'm paying now for my Earthlink through a dial-up connection. Of course, this also has "fees and taxes" applied to it, and I have no idea how much those are going to be. They wouldn't tell me, they said they couldn't even give me an estimate until they had me all hooked up and everything.

So the guy was supposed to come install it today, and he did, but I was expecting him that early, I figured I'd be waiting all day. I woke up at 9:00am, and took my shower a few minutes later, and was barely getting out of the shower when he knocked, I had to hurry and throw some clothes on because I wasn't even dressed yet. It was about 9:30 when he got there, and he was gone by 9:55.

I have to run 50 foot of cable across the apartment because I wanted to be able to connect both the computer and the X-Box to it, but they are on completely opposite ends of the apartment. I wanted to have him install the line in my bedroom by the computer, but he said they aren't allowed to make any new outlets in the apartment walls. He can only run it through a pre-existing outlet, which is in the living room. But what if sometime in the future I want to get cable or satellite TV service, how will they run that? So, he got it installed, but I couldn't use it until I drove the 20-something miles to Best Buy to buy an assload of cable. I took some measurements of the walls, since I wanted to run it all along the walls as out of the way as possible, and my rough measurements ended up being about 50 feet, give or take a few feet. So I decided I would buy 75 feet, if they had it, to be safe. I got there and they had 50 feet, for about $35, and 100 feet, for $72. Nothing in between. I got the 100 feet, which cost me $78 with tax, and brought it home and hooked everything up. I ran the cable around like I was going to, but it looked like I didn't even use half of it, so I decided that I would roll it all back up and take it back, telling them I bought the wrong thing. It didn't even look like it had been opened. I was going to do this on my next day off, because I didn't want to have to drive all the way up there again today.

I got online, and it was all working fine, so I surfed the Internet for a few hours, and made the several posts I've made today. But then I tried to go set up X-Box Live service so I can play Halo 2 online. I was planning on just switching the cords out all the time, unplugging it from the computer, and plugging it into the X-Box when I wanted to play. It turns out you can't do that, because of the different IP addresses or something. The tech support line said I have to buy a router to do that. So I went back up to Best Buy after all tonight, and took the cord back, and got a 50 foot cord, which fit perfectly, and I do mean perfectly, and the cheapest router I could find. Those cost me $90 together, and yes, I did get a full refund on the cable I took back.

So when I got home, I had to hook up the router, and all the cables, and run the cable around the furniture and under the carpet and everything again. And I got it all hooked up and set up, and it still didn't work, but at least I knew why this time, from what they told me during my last tech support call. Whenever you hook it up to something new, you have to call them to reset the IP number, so I did, and reinstalled it all again, and now it seems to be working fine, I can get onto the computer, and X-Box Live, at the same time even. Hooray!


A new problem has arisen. I got on X-Box live to set up my account. Halo 2 comes with a card for a two month free trial subscription, it has a code on it that you enter when setting up your account. The code on my card doesn't work! It keeps telling me the code is not valid. I've tried it four time, I even tried entering it in all capitals and then in all lowercase. I can't get it to work! And I can't afford to have to pay for my subscription right now. Not after spending almost $100 on cables and a router.

So, maybe I'll get the code to work tomorrow or something, I hope so. But for now, I'm through messing with it all.

Crazy Cat Lady Action Figure

Crazy Cat Lady Action Figure

"Every town has a Crazy Cat Lady. She's the one who lives in a tiny house full of feral felines. This 5-1/4" (13.3 cm) tall, hard vinyl Crazy Cat Lady Action Figure has a wild look in her eye and comes with six cats."

Yahoo! News - U.S. Researcher Says Finds Atlantis Off Cyprus

Yahoo! News - U.S. Researcher Says Finds Atlantis Off Cyprus

Taste, I mean Read, the Rainbow

Taken from Timothy McSweeney's Internet Tendency


November 12-22
10 a.m.-10 p.m. every day
CONTACT: Chris Cobb, (415) 837-0843

- - - -


For one amazing week in November, Adobe Bookshop in San Francisco has agreed to allow its estimated 20,000 books to be reclassified by color. Shifting from red to orange to yellow to green, the books will follow the spectrum continuously, changing Adobe from a neighborhood bookshop into a magical library—but only for one week.

Adobe Bookshop in San Francisco's Mission District, and all of its contents, will be transformed. It will take a crew of 20 people pulling an all-nighter fueled by caffeine and pizza and following a master organizational plan—but come Saturday morning it will be like a place that would only exist in a dream.

This temporary public installation will be assembled by the San Francisco artist Chris Cobb and a staff of volunteers, who will reorder all the books in one night and, when the week is over, return them to their original locations.

San Francisco-based artist Chris Cobb received his BFA from the San Francisco Art Institute and currently studies in the graduate Art Practice program at UC Berkeley with teachers such as Squeak Carnwath, Katherine Sherwood, and Richard Shaw.

The well-known Los Angeles band Listing Ships will play at the opening reception on November 14. For more information, visit their site.

Very cool pictures can be seen here.

No Comment Needed

Well, I was just going to put the picture in the post, but it ended up being too big for the columns, so I will just have to link to it, dammit.

Election Results Cross-referenced by Average IQ of Voters

Basically, it's a chart that shows the average IQ of the population of the states, and then show whether Bush or Kerry won that state. To put it simply, the smart states voted for Kerry, the dumb states voted for Bush.

Monday, November 15, 2004

Death to the unbelievers!

Well, now that Bush has won his second term in office, and on top of that, the House and Senate are both under republican control, I guess it won't be long until we're all gonna die. Unless you're a good Christian, who hates gays, and pornography, and abortion, and you pray to Jesus every day to smite the heathen Muslims, and the French, and everyone else, including fellow Americans who don't believe that Bush is the emmisary of God, and that we must all do whatever he says or burn in Hell for all eternity.

I wonder how long it's gonna be until Micheal Moore is found dead in his home, under suspicious circumstances? Of course, the official reports will all say he died of a heart attack, or some other weight induced heart problem.

And what the fuck is going on upstairs?! It sounds like my upstairs neighbors are trying to saw a hole through my ceiling. With a vibrator.

Sunday, November 14, 2004

Funny stuff

Here's a few things I thought were really funny from Blogging Like I've Never Blogged Before.

Posted the night of the election:
A month ago, I would have said, "Bush will win." Now I'm not so sure. What's scary is if Kerry does win, we are all going to be eaten by wolves. I think. I'm not sure, but I think that's what that one Bush ad said. I totally don't want to get eaten by a wolf, let alone a pack of them.

Whoever wins, let's hope that we all made the right decision. And when this is all over, I invite people of all parties to my apartment for a big party. We'll drink Sam Adams and yell shit about the Alamo. And if there are any Nader supporters, we'll plant a tree. Then the Bush supporters can cut it down and build a deck. Then the Kerry supporters can tax the shit out of it.

And something else:
Damn. I wanted to sign myself up for Pimp My Ride, but I am too old. I have to be between the ages of 18-22. That blows. Discrimination. All I really want is for them to clean my car and maybe remove the cement that was splattered on it. And replace the runners. That's all I ask. I promise to be excited.

"Oh shit! Check out the carpets, yo! They all vacuumed and shit! That is sweet, bro." Then I'll hug Xzibit and thank him for pimpin' my ride. But since I'm too old, I guess I should let go of that dream.

Perhaps VH1 can create a show called "Please Clean My Car."

On my way to a Halloween party last night, I was on the subway, when a big retarded black guy decided to stand by me. He smelled quite bad. A guy sitting across from me, who I think was drunk, had a face on that made it seem like he was smelling a septic tank. He then blurted out, "I don't know who the fuck is releasing bodily functions, but it's nasty. Fartin' ass on the subway. Who does that?"

Fartin' ass. I couldn't help but laugh.

Today, a mother was walking with her son and they were carrying groceries. They had stopped to readjust the bags. The son then dropped a bag, only after the mother had given him too much to carry. The bag he dropped apparently contained crackers in it. She said, "Those were the crackers, assface. Those. Were. The crackers."

She called her son assface. Perhaps that was his Halloween costume, but I'm not sure. I guess he ruined his mom's Annual Halloween Cracker Extravaganza.

This Book was Shot by Hunter S. Thompson

Charity Folks | Online Auction: This Book was Shot by Hunter S. Thompson

Oh, wow, I'd really love to have this. Hunter S. Thompson is my hero. Unfortunately, the bidding is currently up to $1,100

Microsoft Sees $100 Million First Day for 'Halo 2' Game

Yahoo! News - Microsoft Sees $100 Million First Day for 'Halo 2' Game


ICON SEX IN THE AOL STYLE I think I posted this before, a long time ago, but I'm not sure. And I really like it, so I'm posting it again.

And that these actually turn me on, is probably a sign that I really need to get laid. Badly. I don't mean I need to get badly laid, as in bad sex, but that I very badly need sex. Although at this point, I'd be happy even with bad sex.

Friday, November 12, 2004

My Wait for Halo

I finally remembered the other stuff I was going to talk about... When I waited in line for my copy of Halo 2. Duh. Oh, and also, the problems with the game disks. My brain just unfroze.

So, I reserved my copy in May. Quite some time ago. Then, about a month ago, I went back and fully paid for my copy, instead of just the five dollars down. Because if your copy was paid for, you didn't have to wait in line with the people who hadn't paid. You'd just walk up and show them your VIP pass, and get your copy. That was the idea anyway, but it didn't work out that way. In fact, it was the opposite. EVERYONE prepaid for their copy. So the people who hadn't paid got there's quickly, while those who had paid in full, had to wait in line for hours. I got there about 10:45, along with my mom, who followed me up there, because she had a copy reserved for my sister for Christmas. She hadn't paid for hers, but I had paid for mine. She got her copy about an hour before I got mine. She got hers about 12:30, barely half an hour after it went on sale. I got mine about 1:35, and it was 2:00am before I got back home. Then, I made myself read the instruction book before even putting the game in the machine. So I finally put it in the X-Box around 2:30. And then I almost shit myself, because it said, "Your X-Box cannot recognize this disk. Please make sure it is an X-Box game, DVD or Audio CD. Also, the disk may be dirty or scratched." I kept my calm though, and took it out of the machine, to see if I could see anything wrong with it. It was spotless, there was no dirt or scratches. I put it back in the machine, and it worked this time. But, the graphics were skippy sometimes during the cutscenes and stuff, and then a couple of days later, I tried to play it, and it kept giving me that same error message. I had to take it out and put it back in and try again several times before it finally worked, so I finally took it back. I'm not the first one either. I don't know if it's happening all over, or maybe it's just the shipment that came here or something, but nearly everyone I know has had to take theirs back to. Everyone keeps getting that same error message. One guy I know had to take his back twice before he finally got one that worked.

My brain just froze again, but I think I was done anyway. I'm going to go play Halo 2 now.

Holy crap...

Holy crap, the early dark usually doesn't mess me up, but tonight it sure did. I've only been home from work since 3:30pm, but it seems like it's been forever. I just got done watching a DVD, and when it ended, I thought, "Guess I'll play Halo 2 now. Wait, what time is it, it's probably almost 10:00 isn't it?" Then I looked at the clock, and it was 6:45. The main thing that threw me was that I went outside when it was dark, something I've barely done in months. I used to be a night person, I'd only leave the house by choice at night, but now since I started working mornings, I've barely left the house after dark in months. Anyway, I left about 5:30 to go get some burgers for dinner, and it was already dark, and it made it feel like it was really late. I'm ready for bed, but it's only 7:10.

So, yeah, Halo 2. It's great. Maybe not as good as my expectations, but there's no way it could live up to people's expectations after they've been building up for over a year, with all these wild rumors and everything on the internet and in magazines. There's nothing wrong with it, but it's almost a disappointment after what I had in my imagination. Really, it's a great game. I'm not very far in it though, I'll admit, I suck at Halo, especially multiplayer. I'm only maybe halfway through, I'm not sure. I haven't played the multiplayer yet, but I have roamed alone through the multiplayer stages, and they look great. They're all huge. Well, most of them anyway, there's a few smaller ones. I really want to play it, but I haven't gotten to yet. I don't really want to tell you much about the game, because there are a lot of surprises and twists in the plot, most of which I haven't even gotten to yet. There's a lot of humor too, wisecracks made by the Marines and stuff like that. In fact, one of the Marines it even voiced by the comedian David Cross. One of my favorite jokes so far in the game is this one part where there's this beautiful, sweeping landscape, and one of the Marines says, "Wow, look at that, it's like a postcard. 'Dear Sarge, Kicking ass across the universe, wish you were here,'" and Sergeant Johnson gets on the radio and says "I heard that."

I had other things I wanted to say, but I can't really remember them now. I'm tired now. I'm sure I'll remember it later.

Monday, November 08, 2004


It's almost time! And to make the waiting harder, Gamespy has posted a huge article about the game. And I mean huge! There's nine pages just about the soundtrack! Now that the game is almost out, they can tell more about it, and have made up for it by making this article huge.


I'm thinking I may need to go to Gamespot and get in line earlier than I had planned. I hadn't planned on going very early, as my copy is completely paid for, and when you pay it completely, you get a VIP pass, that eliminates your wait. But I was talking to Daniel, and he had been talking to someone on their cellphone that was already waiting in line, and at 8:00 there were already a few dozen people in line. This small store said they have over 3000 copies reserved in people's names. So it looks like I'll be in for a huge wait no matter what ticket I have. There are people up there waiting in lawn chairs even.

Ok, so, I'm excited. I'm going back to reading that article now.

Sunday, November 07, 2004

1d, 4hrs, 44min

It's almost time for Halo 2! I can't wait! The store I've got my copy reserved at is opening at 12:01 to sell it, so it's just a little over 24 hours!

My two days off in a row weren't as boring as I had expected, as I actually found some things to keep me busy. I've been so bored lately, I can barely handle the time from when I come home from work between 2:00 and 4:00pm, and the time I go to bed, usually around 10:30pm. And my last day off I was so bored I was ready for bed by 6:30pm. So I didn't know what I'd do with two days off in a row.

I spent most of my day yesterday out of the house. I had a little bit of shopping to do, but I also just went to both Sooner Fashion Mall and Crossroads Mall and looked around for a while. I also bought a lot of stuff. A lot more than I should have, considering how poor I am. I put most of it on my credit card, increasing my debt. I'm still not near as far in debt as most people. I only have, counting yesterday's purchases, about $1,300 of debt. One of the things I bought yesterday, I wouldn't have bought, if I knew the second thing I bought was going to be there for me to buy. There's this board game I've been wanting, called Go. It's one of the world's oldest games. It was invented about 4,000 years ago in China, and then became really popular in Japan. It is still played by millions of people in China, Japan, and Korea, but is a little hard to find around here. I've been trying to find somewhere that sells it for probably six months now, but never could. I couldn't even find anywhere online that sells it. But yesterday at Sooner Fashion Mall, they had one of those small stores set up out in the hallway, but this one was actually fairly large for one of these places. It was a game store, they had about every game you could think of, other than video games, that is. At first I didn't think they had Go, but then I finally found it on the bottom of the last shelf. I could barely contain my joy. Now that I've finally got the game, I've found some websites online where I could've bought it. I was looking up sites that teach you to play it today. The rules are very simple, but it takes a lifetime to master. It's very complicated when you actually play it. Me and my sister tried to play a game today, but we didn't do anything right at all I don't think.

Here's a great site for buying Go games and supplies, it also has a small how-to-play tutorial:

If I had known I was going to find a copy of Go, I wouldn't have bought some of the other stuff I bought that day. Especially the $20 t-shirt at Hot Topic. I bought a lot of stuff at Hot Topic yesterday. They had a huge selection of Nightmare Before Christmas merchandise, I would have loved to have all of it, but the only thing I bought was a wristband with Jack's face on it. I also bought some stickers and patches and stuff, with various things on them. The t-shirt is a Family Guy t-shirt I've been wanting, but Hot Topic usually doesn't have anything in my size, but occasionally they do. It's a bright yellow shirt, with Stewie on it. He's all covered in mud, and saying "I'm a dirty, foul little boy."

I remember a time, not too long ago, that I wouldn't be caught dead wearing a bright yellow shirt. My mom commented on this too, when she saw the shirt. Used to everything I owned was black, with a few whites and greys. Those are my favorite colors, or used to be, black and grey mainly, but I also liked things that were black and white. But now, the last year or two, I've tried to stop wearing so much black, and was instead wearing more greys and whites. But now, in just the last few months, I've gotten a couple of brightly colored shirts. My red Red vs. Blue shirt, and now this yellow Stewie shirt.

Ok, well, that's it for now. Don't expect on hearing much out of me the next few days, as I will be quite busy.

1d, 4hrs, 11min, 25sec

Friday, November 05, 2004

Mr. Nice Guy

I've really realised something in the last week or so. Actually, it's something I've always known, but I've only recently realised how much of a problem it is, and that I'd really probably be better off if I did something about it. To put it simply, I need to be more aggressive.

I'm not talking about fighting, or anything like that, perhaps a better word would be "assertive." Just like that Spongebob episode. I need to be more assertive, I let people walk all over me for the most part. I've gotten a little better in recent years, but not much. I used to have a real problem saying no to people. If you asked me to do something for you, chances are good I'd do it for you, no matter how much I didn't want to, or how much it would inconvenience me. I've gotten a lot better at that, now I say no all the time. Almost too much.

The main place I need to be more aggressive is with women. I take the "nice guy" concept to it's extreme. Like I have never in my life just like grabbed a girl's ass, or anything like that. I've never put the moves on anyone. My philosophy when it comes to women has always been, "Let them make the first move." I'll barely look at a woman without her permission. And yes, I ask permission to do things. It's pathetic really. I think that was the main problem with Kristina, was I was just too, well, nice, for her. Even when I know the girl would want me to do something, I still usually don't, just in case there's been a misunderstanding or something. I can also be really naive when it comes to sexual situations or similar things. For example, me and Kristina would be out driving back from the movies or something, and she'd be hinting, quite heavily, that she wanted to go park and have sex, and half the time I wouldn't even realize it, and I'd just keep driving around holding her hand like and idiot. Or even if I did realize it, I'd just be so nervous or something, I'd act like I didn't know what she was getting at.

I need to be much more aggressive when it comes to women. I need to make the first move, and take control occasionally.

It's no wonder everyone always thinks I am gay, even most of the girls. I don't flirt or hit on girls or anything. I'll barely even talk to them until I get to know them better.

I'm sure it would be good for my self esteem and stuff too. Even if I got slapped a couple of times. At least I'd probably feel more like a man. I'm not one of these "women trapped in a man's body," but I've always been able to understand women better than I understand other men. I can be fairly emotional, and I understand what women are thinking and feeling better than most men, I think. There's times in life I've felt more like I was the woman in the situation. I'm the kind of person who'll sit next to the phone wondering, "Why doesn't she call?" That's something women are supposed to do, not men.

And now that I've thoroughly embarrassed myself, I think I'm ending this post now.

Thursday, November 04, 2004


Cry me a river...

Fuck it. Everything's broken. Everything sucks. What happened? Last Saturday was one of the best days of my life, but ever since then, nothing's gone right. For some reason it won't let me sign into my Personal Earthlink Start-page, so I can't even read the fucking news. It keeps telling me "invalid username or password." I even went and did the "I forgot my password" thing, and it verified my identity, and gave me a new password. But it's still giving me the same error message, even with the new password. Also, my internet browser or something is fucking up. For the last few days I haven't even been able to go to half the websites I want to go to. I click the link, or type the address, and it just goes to a blank white page, and loads forever. It will load for as long as I leave the window open, but nothing ever shows up, no matter how many times I hit reload or click the link again. It took me about an hour to get Blogger to open so I could even write this post. And then, on most of the webpages, even the ones that it will let me go to, they don't work right. The page loads, everything that should be there, is there. But yet, for some reason, the page still continues loading, and it does this for as long as I leave it open.

Also, everywhere I go, everyone is acting like even bigger bitches and assholes than usual.

For example: I, like everyone else at work, have been looking forward to November the 9th for about a year now, because that's when Halo 2 comes out. I already have my copy reserved and paid for. I even put the 9th and 10th in the request off book on September 10th, TWO MONTHS before the date I wanted off. And Allen didn't fucking give me either day off. He's got almost everyone working that day. He did it on purpose, because he's sick of hearing us all talk about Halo 2 all the time, and how much we are looking forward to it. He's got more than enough people working that day, and is still making me work. And Murray, the only person who did get that day off, even though he didn't request it, won't switch days with me, because he wants the 9th off too. I offered to work two days for Murray, in exchange for him working for me this one day, and he still won't do it! I've had it in the request off book for two months, I should have gotten at least one of the two days off!

My mom bought me a set-top TV antenna thing, so I could at least watch the local networks. It has a built in signal amplifier and everything. The salesmen, and the box, everything all said it would definitely work for me. They said it would pick everything up, no matter where I live, even if I am in an apartment, on the ground floor, with other buildings all around me. It doesn't fucking work. It won't pick up a damn thing. I was finally, after fiddling with it and changing the position for like an hour, able to get it to pick up CBS at least good enough I could watch the election coverage, but barely.

And the election. I'm not even going to fucking talk about that. At least not yet. The pain is still too fresh. And THIS says all there is to say anyway.

God, I've seriously felt like crying ever since I walked in the door from work today. All the built up stress and emotions from the last week.

Tuesday, November 02, 2004


Not that's it's any surprise at all, but the news stations are all predicting right now that Bush will definitely win here in Oklahoma, also, it looks like Tom Coburn, the evil corrupt republican senate candidate will win. I'm not just calling him evil and corrupt because he's a republican, but because he is. He used to be a doctor, and he sterilized some women without their consent, and he's voted against education and health, and everything else every chance he gets. Also, the gay marriage ban has passed here in Oklahoma.

Still, no matter who wins, I'm still proud of how many people voted today. This election has motivated people who never voted before to vote. Young people are turning out in record numbers, and actually getting interested in politics. The polls opened here in Oklahoma at 7:00am, and all across the state, they'd already had more people voted by 8:00am than voted the entire day in the last election. People had to wait in line for an hour or more in many places here in Oklahoma.

At the moment, they're predicting it's going to be a very close race again. It looks like it's probably all going to come down to Florida again.

Monday, November 01, 2004

An Election Eve Letter from John Kerry

As a member of the John Kerry campaign mailing list, this is the email I got today. It outlines his policies well. If I hadn't been going to vote for him before, I definitely would be now.

Dear Kevin,

During this campaign I have asked you for so much -- your time, your energy, and your financial support. Today, I ask you for one final thing -- your vote.

Tomorrow, Americans will face a choice.

How will we find our way forward? How will we keep America safe, and keep the American dream alive?

I believe we begin by giving this country we love a fresh start. This morning, I would like to give you as a plainly as I can the summary of my case on how -- together -- we can change America.

I believe we begin by moving our economy, our government, and our society back in line with our best values.

I believe we do whatever it takes to lead our troops to success and bring them home safe. And when they do come home, I believe we begin by rebuilding an America with a strong middle class where everyone has the chance to work and the opportunity to get ahead.

Tomorrow, you can choose a fresh start. You can choose a president who will defend America and fight for the middle-class.

You can choose between four more years of George Bush's policy to ship jobs overseas and give tax breaks to the companies that do it -- or a president who will reward the companies that create and keep good jobs here in the United States of America.

Tomorrow you will face a choice between four more years of George Bush's giveaways to the big drug companies and the big HMOs -- or a president who will finally make health care a right, and not a privilege, for every American.

This election is a choice between four more years of tax giveaways for millionaires along with a higher tax burden for you -- or a president who will cut middle-class taxes, raise the minimum wage, and make sure we guarantee women an equal day's pay for an equal day's work.

Tomorrow, America faces a choice between four more years of an energy policy for big oil, of big oil, and by big oil -- or a president who finally makes America independent of Mideast oil in ten years. A choice between George Bush's policy that just yesterday showed record profits for oil companies and record gas prices for American consumers. I believe that America should rely on our own ingenuity and innovation, not the Saudi Royal family.

Tomorrow this campaign will end. The election will be in your hands. If you believe we need a fresh start in Iraq; if you believe we can create and keep good jobs here in America; if you believe we need to get health care costs under control; if you believe in the promise of stem cell research; if you believe our deficits are too high and we're too dependent on Mideast oil then I ask you to join me and together we'll change America.

I ask for your vote and I ask for your help. When you go to the polls bring your friends, your family, your neighbors. No one can afford to stand on the sidelines or sit this one out.

And in return for your hard work, you have my commitment to always fight for you, to always be on your side. In the words of Bruce Springsteen that have become the theme of this campaign. "We've made a promise we swore we'd always retreat and no surrender."

Tomorrow we will change America and with your help I will always keep that promise to you.

Thank you,
John Kerry

Weird, but hopefully true...

Does Redskins Loss Portend Kerry Victory? - EarthLink - Strange News

"MANCHESTER, N.H. - John Kerry supporters got a welcome omen for their candidate on Sunday: The Green Bay Packers defeated the Washington Redskins.

"If history holds, the 28-14 score portends a victory for Kerry on Tuesday because the result of the Redskins' final home game before the presidential election has always accurately predicted the White House winner.

"If the Redskins win, the incumbent party wins. If they lose, the incumbent party is ousted..."