More About Last Night

Inside Jokes from last night:

• "In the Air Tonight," by Phil Collins
• One Dollar
• www.gonavy.gay

And countless others I can't remember right now.

Oh and also, I love "fall back." I love gaining an hour.

Fun Time!

Last night was the most fun I've had in ages.

As I said I was going to the other day, last night I went out with my friends. Me, Alicia, Chris, Chris' fiancee Candice, and her friend Lindy (I guess that's how it's spelled, I've never heard that name before) all went to Huxtlers in Norman to play pool. Dave couldn't make it, as his little girl was sick and had to go to the hospital for some reason.

I got off work, a little early too, and went home and called Chris, but he and Candice were at her parent's house, and would be there until it was time to go play pool, which would be around 8:00 or so, so I had a few hours to kill. So I got online, and me and Alicia talked for a while, and then I had to get offline to finish getting ready, and so Chris could call me when he and Candice got back. It was still only about 7:00, but I decided to play it safe, in case they got back early. Then a few minutes later, Alicia showed up, and we watched Goldmember until Chris finally called sometime around 8:30. But he informed me of a small problem. His brother wanted to go with us. As long as I've known Chris, his brother's been in and out of jail, usually for drugs. He's got another warrant out for his arrest right now, so he's been hiding out, but he wanted to go play pool with us. Chris had a plan though, and came up with a story for me and Alicia to go along with. The story was this: That day had been the big OU/OSU football game, and Huxtlers, and in fact most of Norman, would probably be full of people partying, so there would likely be a lot of cops out, especially at a bar/pool hall like Huxtlers. So Chris told his brother that Alicia had already been up to Huxtlers just a while ago, and there had been cops there at the door, to make sure no one got out of hand. The plan worked, and Chris' brother stayed behind.

We had decided to take separate cars. Me and Alicia would go in my car, and Chris and Candice would be in their Jeep, so when he called, Alicia and I drove over to Chris' parent's house to meet up with them. Then we drove to Norman. I had to follow them closely, because first we had to pick up Lindy, who lived in Norman not too far from Huxtlers. The car drive to Norman and Huxtlers was fun. Alicia kept messing with my radio, and for some reason she did it with her feet. She kept putting her feet up on the dash, and she kept pressing the radio buttons and turning the dials, all with her foot. Then she wrote "bitch" on my window with her toe. Then a medley of songs from Grease came on the radio, and she really got into it. She knew all the words and sang and danced in her seat. It was great. I was kinda dissappointed when we got to Huxtlers, because I don't really like playing pool, and the car ride was so fun.

I actually had fun playing pool even. For one, it wasn't as one-sided as usual, because Chris, who is usually very good, hadn't gotten to play in quite some time. I haven't played in a year or two either, though. But basically, we all sucked last night. When we first got there, Candice and Lindy sat at the bar for a while, so the first five games were me and Alicia on a team, against Chris. In the end, it was 3 games to 2. Chris had the three. But about the only reason me and Alicia got those two were because he'd lose by scratching on the 8-Ball or something. Then Candice and Lindy came over and we did two teams, Me and Alicia against Candice and Lindy, with Chris playing whichever team won. Me and Alicia won, but Chris beat us. Then me and Alicia sat out a game or two. Then I played one last game against Chris. Those last two games I started doing really well. I played the best I'd ever played before, even Chris agreed. It still wasn't that great, but it was really good for me. Then me and Alicia left. Chris, Candice and Lindy stayed behind, because Candice and Lindy wanted to have some more drinks. So me and Alicia drove back to Purcell, and she went home. Alicia was about to pass out by this time, and I was pretty tired as well. I went in and got online for a few minutes, just to check my email and stuff, and Alicia was online as well, and we talked for a few more minutes. Then I went to sleep.

It was a great night.

Michael Jackson's Halloween Special

Michael: Hey kids! It's Halloween... in my pants! Now who wants a treat?!

Children: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEKKK!!!!!!

Children: *run away*

Michael: Ah-hee-hee *moonwalks*

Man Living in Cave on Los Alamos Lab Land - EarthLink - Strange News

Man Living in Cave on Los Alamos Lab Land - EarthLink - Strange News

"LOS ALAMOS, N.M. - Authorities have evicted a man from a cave on Los Alamos National Laboratory land where they say he apparently lived for years with the comforts of home - a wood-burning stove, solar panels connected to car batteries for electricity and a satellite radio..."

Halloween

So last night was Halloween here in Purcell. I'm disappointed. I went out and spent $5 on candy, $5 dollars that I could barely afford to spend, and only had like 7 trick or treaters all night. I went to a lot of trouble too. I put on this really spooky music, by Midnight Syndicate, and lit a bunch of candles and incense, to create a spooky mood when I opened the door. All this trouble, and I hardly got a single kid. I didn't expect many, being at an apartment complex, but I expected more than that. It was a perfect night for Trick or Treating, even if it wasn't the real Halloween. The clouds that have been darkening the sky the last few days parted just long enough for there to be a large, red moon during the festivities. It was really cool.

Tomorrow night, me, Alicia, Chris, Candice, and maybe Dave are all going out to play pool. I don't really like pool, but they all want to play. I really suck at pool. My dad used to be a pool shark when he was in his teens. He was telling me the other day about how he and his friends used to go to the pool halls and he'd sometimes make up to $100 a night. And then was back in the 60's, when that was a lot of money. Especially for a 15 year old. I didn't inherit his skills, however. I can go a whole game without getting more than a ball or two in sometimes. And I've played it a lot. We used to even have a pool table at my house. Sometimes I'll get lucky, and make two or three shots in a row, but not often. What's weird, is I'm usually better at getting the complicated bank shots than I am at the simple straight line shots. I can try to hit a ball into the pocket that it's sitting like two inches in front of, and miss horribly, but then I can make incredibly lucky shots that involve banking it off a wall or two.

I'm not really looking forward to playing pool in a loud, smoky, smelly bar and pool hall, but I am looking forward to going out with my friends.

This is so cool...

Washington Dog Phones 911 for Fallen Owner - EarthLink - Strange News

"RICHLAND, Wash. - Faith the service dog phoned 911 when her owner fell out of her wheelchair and barked urgently into the receiver until a dispatcher sent help. Then the 4-year-old Rottweiler unlocked the front door so the responding police officer could come in..."

'Witch' Pardons Come Centuries Too Late

'Witch' Pardons Come Centuries Too Late - EarthLink - Strange News

"LONDON - A Scottish township plans to mark Halloween by officially pardoning 81 people - and their cats - executed centuries ago for being witches..."

$87,000,000,000.00

$87,000,000,000.00

"On September 7th, 2003, President Bush announced on national television that he was asking the Congress to grant him an additional $87 billion dollars for the next fiscal year, beginning October 1, to continue the fight on terror in Iraq and Afghanistan."

"But $87 billion is an impossibly high number for anyone to visualize. Let's have a look...."

Gizmodo : Circuits Discover... Each Other

Gizmodo : Circuits Discover... Each Other

Circuitry porn. Mostly work safe. It's funny, more childish than dirty.

"Hobbit" Discovered: Tiny Human Ancestor Found in Asia

"Hobbit" Discovered: Tiny Human Ancestor Found in Asia

Blogging Like I've Never Blogged Before

A funny story from Mike at Blogging Like I've Never Blogged Before

In this story, he's talking about a dumpster:

This thing mysteriously appeared around the corner from my abode yesterday. I was walking home, when all of the sudden, I notice this gigantic dumpster with a lot of garbage in it, and more importantly, lots of garbage on the outside of it.

While that isn't the most unheard of thing, what was quite interesting was the number of children that were climbing in it, around it, and rummaging through it, apparently searching for hidden treasure. I don't know who dumped this thing here, but it almost looked like a dollar store had dumped its contents in it. There were plenty of unopened packages. Shitty shit, but still free shit that is new. I imagine these kids' parents requested that the kids go "find mommy up some new shoes."

Anyway, later on last night, I went to get something to eat, and on my way back, there was this little white kid looking through stuff that had been on the sidewalk. He was young, couldn't have been more than eight. He picked up a flat, rectangular box. Then, as he stared at his new find, to my shock and awe, I heard him say, "Bitch, you gotta be fucking kidding me!" Then he turned his head upward to where he must have lived, and yelled, "Mommy! I found Christmas lights!"

I would love to be in that kid's living room come Christmas. "Motherfucker! A PlayStation! Oh shit, nigga! It's a PS2! Next time I see Santa, I'ma suck that bitch's dick!"

God bless us everyone.

McSweeney's Internet Tendency: Some Lists, Grouped Together.

McSweeney's Internet Tendency: Some Lists, Grouped Together.

INAPPROPRIATE "DO IT" SLOGANS.
By Jeremy Martin

Cardiologists do it 'til your heart stops.

Poison Control Hotline operators do it 'til you puke.

Catholic priests do it 'til you hit puberty.

Vice presidents do it from an undisclosed location.

Trekkies do it 'til their mom comes home.

Donkey anesthesiologists do it 'til your ass falls asleep.

McSweeney's Internet Tendency: Grimace Speaks to a Geneticist.

McSweeney's Internet Tendency: Grimace Speaks to a Geneticist.

Grimace Speaks
to a Geneticist.
BY DAVID NG

- - - -

GRIMACE: What am I?

GENETICIST: That is a very interesting question indeed. And we should begin by briefly discussing your known history. According to your records, you were born as "Evil Grimace," with four deft arms, and a penchant for amusing yourself by stealing milkshakes from small children. Then, in 1974, you experienced a change of heart, a loss of two arms, and a metamorphosis into what is your current incarnation—a supposedly warm, gentle, and seemingly living representation of the "embodiment of childhood."

GRIMACE: Is that why I have only one orifice?

GENETICIST: Perhaps so, as childhood is a period marked by the most basic of bodily functions. In truth, it is that kind of interesting nuance that makes me suspect your being a genetically modified organism. Furthermore, the timing of your appearance coincides perfectly with a social phenomenon during the '70s. A time when discussing human cloning was culturally fashionable, when books like The Boys From Brazil and In His Image appeared on bestseller lists.

Also, you are purple like a giant areola.

GRIMACE: How can I find out more?

GENETICIST: A promising course of action is to try genetic counseling. Which, in the conventional sense, suggests that we investigate your network, both in family and in friendship. This is to help construct a more complete picture of your being and, more importantly, your past. From this, we will have a firm starting point from which to build.

GRIMACE: But I have no family, no real friends, and Ronald, frankly, scares me. What other alternatives do I have?

GENETICIST: Ronald scares us, too, but that is for another interview. Under those restrictive circumstances, one possible alternative is to contact nonacquaintances with similar traits. Perhaps someone like Barney the Dinosaur, who is also big, purple, and waves a lot like an idiot. Similarly, we could simply forge ahead and arrange for a genetic test. This is a process that will allow us to peer at your very own genetic code, and is something that will surely resolve the mystery that surrounds you.

GRIMACE: Like why I am so popular with the ladies?

GENETICIST: Yes, exactly! In some respects, you could be the perfect metaphor for what is both wonderfully right and terribly wrong about genetic manipulation. Due to the marvels of this technology, you appear to have luxury, wealth, fame, as many women as you desire, and yet you have no identity, no origin. If ever there were such a thing, you are an organic black box.

GRIMACE: I think it's because the ladies like my massive tongue.

GENETICIST: Which is magnificent indeed! In fact, seeing it now, I am struck by how similar your appearance is to that of a tongue, a taste bud, to be specific. To entertain this avenue, I ask that you take a moment to study and answer these five carefully designed questions:

(1) Do you find that you sweat profusely such that you are always, to a certain degree, moist?

(2) Do you find yourself a constant victim of paper cuts, specifically when handling your letters of correspondence?

(3) Do you find you enjoy bathing in scented waters but are repelled by thoughts of swimming in the sea, perhaps fearing that the salt will further constrict your already-tender skin?

(4) Do you notice that when you are jumping on a trampoline, the consonant sounds "l," "n," "d," and "t" appear as if by magic?

And (5) Do you, during the winter season, always find yourself inexplicably and inconveniently stuck to cold metal structures?

GRIMACE: Hmmm, maybe the trampoline one, but otherwise, no.

GENETICIST: Ah, well, it was only a hypothesis. It appears that we will order that genetic test after all. But first, I feel compelled to present this stern warning: these tests can be excruciatingly accurate sometimes. You may, quite frankly, be disappointed with the result. You see, I cannot control the outcome of the test. I do not possess that power. I am not God. I am, sadly, only a geneticist.

Halloween and Voting...

A week or two ago, I posted a news story about how some towns in the bible belt are celebrating Halloween on Saturday, since it fell on a Sunday, and I mentioned about how they've been doing that here for years. Well, this year it's even worse. This year they are having it on Thrursday, today. All the other towns aroudn us are having it Saturday, but the little town I live in, is having it Thursday. They are doing this mostly because the biggest part of Halloween here is taking the little kids down to main street, where all the stores give out candy. But all the stores are closed, or close really early on Saturday and Sunday, so they are having it on a weekday. And the reason they didn't have it Friday is because that is the night of the big Purcell/Lexington rivalry football game.

This town sucks.

Another thing I'm really sick of is how violently republican Oklahoma is. Around here, if you're a democrat, you are hated and discriminated against. My little sister gets picked on at school for being a democrat, even by the teachers! The other day one of her teachers told her that "all democrats do is raise taxes and kill babies." Most of her teachers aren't that mean though, most of them just have this attitude of "You're still young, you don't understand politics and don't know any better. When you get older, hopefully you'll realize that democrats are bad."

Yesterday I was driving through Norman, and saw a house with a Kerry sign in their yard. They'd also put up a handmade sign next to it, probably to keep people from vandalising their house. It said stuff about "I am a proud American, I am a Christian, and I support our troops." It said more, but that's all I was able to read as I was driving by.

It's funny, all the campaign ads that are supposed to be against the democratic candidates just make me and my parents want to vote for them more. They all say things like "Brad Carson is a liberal. He voted for this and this, and wants to do this. He has voted again Bush's policies more times than even Hillary Clinton. So remember, a vote for Carson is a vote against Bush." And that's supposed to be getting people to NOT vote for him, but it makes me want to vote for him more.

I can't wait to vote. The future of our country really hangs in the balance with this one.

Another joke, and a new blog link.

I just found a cool blog, it's all jokes, funny quotes, and pictures. The way I found it is they are now linking to me, and were in my referrals page. Funny and Interesting Observations

Here's one of my favorite jokes from the site:

It's wise to remember how easily email -- this wonderful technology -- can be misused, sometimes unintentionally, with serious consequences.

Consider the case of the Illinois man who left the snow-filled streets of Chicago for a vacation in Florida. His wife was on a business trip and was planning to meet him there the next day. When he reached his hotel, he decided to send his wife a quick email.

Unfortunately, when typing her address, he missed one letter, and his note was directed instead to an elderly preacher's wife whose husband had passed away only the day before. When the grieving widow checked her email, she took one look at the monitor, let out a piercing scream, and fell to the floor in a dead faint.

At the sound, her family rushed into the room and saw this note on the screen:

"Dearest Wife, Just got checked in. Everything prepared for your arrival tomorrow. P.S. Sure is hot down here."

Silicone Holocaust

Silicone Holocaust:

This site will show some of the horrors of disease and disfigurement associated with toxic breast implants.

Contrary to what the manufacturers and plastic surgeons would have you believe.

Most breast implant victims, were not disfigured by the non-board certified doctors! They were the victims of faulty breast implants! Breast implants have never been proven safe by the FDA, nor the Manufacturers, and this applies to Saline as well as silicone!

These women were considerate enough to allow their pictures to be shown, in hopes that this will alert others, to the dangers of implants, (in spite of the Science Panel's findings) and help to further the truth.

Please note that this is not just a U.S. problem. I am receiving photos, and stories, from all corners of the globe. Switzerland, Austrailia, Canada, South Africa, and much of Europe.

With your help, this message will be heard!

To All Of These Women We Offer Our Thanks.

To those who have died--We offer this site, in their memory--may they rest in peace."

Yankees Jokes

I never talk about sports on here, mostly because I hate sports. I don't like baseball, and I don't give a shit about either the Yankees or the Red Sox, but the last couple of weeks there's been a lot of talk about them, and a lot of rivalry between fans of the two. Even though I don't care, I still found this joke I just saw to be hilarious.

Q: What do Yankees fans and sperm have in common?
A: One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.

Here's some more from the same webpage. A lot of these though are just old blonde jokes with "Yankees" or "Yankees Fans" substituted in the place of blonde.

Now, some decent Yankee bashing from an e-mail:
Q: What has 400 feet and 4 teeth?
A: The first row of the bleachers at Yankee Stadium.

-Yankee Stamps-
Did you hear that the Post Office just recalled their latest stamps?
They had pictures of Yankees players on them ...people couldn't figure out which side to spit on.

-Yankee Fans on a Bike-
Q: If you see a Yankees fan on a bicycle, why should you never swerve to hit him?
A: There's a good chance it's your bicycle.

-Yankees in the Sand-
Q: What do you have when 100 Yankees fans are buried up to their neck in sand?
A: Not enough sand.

-Dead Dog and a Yankee Fan-
Q: What's the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead Yankees fan in the road?
A: There are skid marks in front of the dog.

-Birth Control-
Q: What do Yankees fans use for birth control?
A: Their personalities.

-Two Bullets...-
Q: You're trapped in a room with a tiger, a rattlesnake, and a Yankees fan. You have a gun with two bullets. What should you do?
A: Shoot the Yankees Fan.......Twice!

-Eyes lit up-
Q: How do you get a Yankee fans eyes to light up?
A: Shine a flashlight in his ear!

-Big Foot and a Yankee fan-
Q: What's the difference between Bigfoot and a smart Yankee fan?
A: Big Foot has actually been sited before!

-Yankee's quick humor-
Q: How do you make a Yankee fan laugh on Monday?
A: Tell them a joke on Friday!

-Yankee IQ test-
Q:what does your average yankee fan get on an I.Q. test?
A: Drool!

Theft Suspects Went Back to Nab Parrot

Theft Suspects Went Back to Nab Parrot - EarthLink - Strange News

"MEMPHIS, Tenn. - Afraid a talkative parrot might prove to be a stool pigeon, three thieves returned to the scene of the crime to silence the bird - only to be caught by police, authorities say..."

Twin Brothers Score 1600 on SATs

Twin Brothers Score 1600 on SATs - EarthLink - Strange News

Americans Getting Taller, Much Heavier

Americans Getting Taller, Much Heavier - EarthLink - Health & Lifestyle News

"Adults are roughly an inch taller than they were in the early 1960s, on average, and nearly 25 pounds heavier, the government reported Wednesday..."

Britney Spears Looking Like Crap...

If my last post would make anyone feel better about their living space, this post will make women feel better about their looks. It also proves that without makeup and airbrushing, even someone as "perfect" as Britney Spears looks just like the rest of us, maybe even worse. She really does look like crap in these pictures. Is it weird that I think she actually looks sexier like this? Maybe I'm just a fan of the "filthy little crack whore hanging around a truck stop" look.

Britney Spears Looking Horrible

I hope the link works for you, I've been having trouble getting it to work.

This is crazy...

This is just incredible, and I thought my parent's house was messy. This will make anyone instantly feel better about the condition of their living space, no matter what it looks like. Warning, this page took close to half an hour to fully load on my dial-up computer. It's got lots of pictures.

Crazy eBay Mom

Peeping Tom filter lets phones see through bikinis | CNET News.com

Peeping Tom filter lets phones see through bikinis | CNET News.com

FBI: Search of Alleged Mob Graveyard Ends

FBI: Search of Alleged Mob Graveyard Ends - EarthLink - U.S. News

"NEW YORK - The search of a vacant lot allegedly used as a graveyard for people ordered killed by the late mob boss John Gotti and other gangsters ended Sunday after yielding the remains of two people believed to be former Mafia captains..."

I Feel Sorry for Their Daughter

"With every kid that you adopt, you promise to love them and be a good parent and take care of this child. And that's what we did with Kevin." Pat Posey of Maryland who with her husband Joe have "raised" a Cabbage Patch doll as their only son for 19 years. The foot-tall doll, christened Kevin, has his own 1,000 sq ft playroom, a doll-sized Corvette car, a pet dog, a full wardrobe and savings fund for college. The couple prefer him to their real child, an adult daughter named Vicky.

And something else weird I just read... 40,000 Americans are injured by toilets each year.

Mmmm... Ham.

So I was sitting around talking to myself in weird voices, making up strange conversations, like I usually do, and came up with this.

Man 1: Do you like... ham?
Man 2: Why, yes. I like ham quite a lot. Why?
Man 1: Because of this! (Hits him on the head with a large ham)
Man 2: You bastard!

Bodies Found in Alabama May Date to 1930s

Bodies Found in Alabama May Date to 1930s - EarthLink - U.S. News

"BIRMINGHAM, Ala. - Two mummified bodies found in an abandoned, burned-out mortuary have a story as eerie as Halloween: They were known as Pap and Molly, and legend had it that they stabbed each other to death in the 1930s."

Stranger Takes Over Ga. Woman's House

Stranger Takes Over Ga. Woman's House - EarthLink - Strange News

"DOUGLASVILLE, Ga. - A woman came home from vacation to find a stranger living there, wearing her clothes, changing utilities into her name and even ripping out carpet and repainting a room she didn't like, authorities said."

Teacher Jailed After Brawl With Parent

Teacher Jailed After Brawl With Parent - EarthLink - Strange News

"MACON, Georgia - A teacher-parent brawl in front of 19 primary school pupils sent a mother to the emergency room and the teacher to jail.

"Teacher Katrina Ann Rucker, 30, is charged with battery and cruelty to children for allegedly beating a parent who tried to retrieve her daughter's book bag, The Macon Telegraph newspaper reported Friday."

Don't read this if you're easily disgusted...

I just had the grossest conversation with Chris. And no, none of the things I say in it are really true. Except for the part about having a hairy back. That's true. Gross, but true.

subspecies23: I should have a tv show, I'd be like Andy Rooney or some other news show guy, and I'd end every show with, "This has been Kevin Underwood, bringing you more information than you wanted to know."
paladix: that would rule, lmao
subspecies23: that would be great, lol
subspecies23: "don't you just hate it when you get big pimples all over your ass? I know I do. What's even worse is when you go to pop them, and it makes an audible popping noise, and sprays five feet onto the bathroom mirror."
subspecies23: and no one would ever watch again
paladix: omfg, i'm going to be sick
subspecies23: lmao
subspecies23: that's gross, lol
paladix: lol
subspecies23: I'd be good at that show, lol
subspecies23: then I'd take my shirt off and show everyone my back hair
subspecies23: then I could say "The other day I shaved my ass, and now my ass is covered with ingrown hairs. They're becoming quite swollen and puss filled. My ass looks like a pizza, and it hurts to sit down."
subspecies23: and across the nation, families would vomit in unison

Man Wears 'Cocaine' T-Shirt in Court

Man Wears 'Cocaine' T-Shirt in Court - EarthLink - Strange News

Judge Voids Will That Promised Curse

Judge Voids Will That Promised Curse - EarthLink - Strange News

Sneeze...

Ugh, I'm really sick today. I'm really sick everyday, but today I'm the "take some sudafed" kind of sick, not sick in the head sick. It's not just me, half the people at work were sick today. I got to work today, and they'd already sent Murray home just a little while after he got there because he was sick, and Curtis was really sick all day too. My sinuses have been a little stuffy for the last week or so, but just a little. I felt fine when I got up today, but within 15 minutes of getting to work, I suddenly got really, really congested and needing to sneeze all the time. I've been that way all day now. It got a little better for a while this afternoon, but as the night goes by now, I'm getting worse and worse. I'm gonna feel like crap in the morning probably. And I have to work tomorrow, ugh.

What Trojan Condom are You?

You are a Trojan Her Pleasure!

You like to be pleased, but you don't mind pleasing everyone else too.
Getting other people off helps get you off...
Not that you ever had any trouble in the first place.

What Trojan Condom Are You?

More Great Quizzes from Quiz Diva

U.N.: Robot Use to Surge Sevenfold by 2007

U.N.: Robot Use to Surge Sevenfold by 2007 - EarthLink - General News

Miss America Dropped From ABC

Miss America Dropped From ABC - EarthLink - General News

Good. I wish no other station would pick it up, and it would go away permanently.

What Kind of Kisser are You? Quiz

You Are A Romantic Kisser!

About Your Kissing Style:
You'll only kiss if the mood is right and if you think you are falling in love.
Some may say you're old fashioned, but when you kiss, you see stars!
One kiss from you, and anyone will be hooked forever.

What Your Kissing Style Says About You:
You're no prude, but if you're going to get sexual, it needs to mean something.
You prefer to take things slow, because it only makes them better in the long run.
You're much more likely to find yourself engaged than in some stranger's bed.

Your Personal Kissing Matches and Mismatches:

You and another Romantic Kisser is just pure bliss. You both enjoy the finer aspects of
seduction and have the preference of taking things slow. It's practially love at first site.
You'll also find yourself attracted to Juicy Kissers. The
way a Juicy Kisser locks eyes with you and draws you in is almost cosmic...

Manic Kissers are to be avoided at all costs. These kissers
love to kiss everyone and can never commit to one person. Next! Carnal Kissers aren't
your style either. They'll push you for sex way too soon... and get very upset when they don't get their way.

How Do *You* Kiss?

More Great Quizzes from Quiz Diva

I didn't need a quiz to tell me this...

You'll Never Cheat!

You are a perfect romantic.
You want your relationships to work out and wouldn't do anything to mess them up.
You might get mad at your guy or girl - but you'd never do anything to hurt them on purpose.

Are You Likely to Cheat?

More Great Quizzes from Quiz Diva

'Mary Poppins' Registers to Vote in Ohio

'Mary Poppins' Registers to Vote in Ohio - EarthLink - Strange News

"DEFIANCE, Ohio - Elections officials knew something was wrong when they got voter registration cards for Mary Poppins, Dick Tracy, Michael Jordan and George Foreman.

"They notified the Defiance County sheriff, who arrested Chad Staton on Monday on a felony charge of submitting phony voter registration forms. Investigators also were looking into allegations that he was paid with cocaine in exchange for his efforts..."

Thank God, I hope it becomes permanent.

Britney Spears Taking Time Off Career - EarthLink - Entertainment News

The Are you Fuckable? Quiz

Fuck you. FUCK YOU! I am SO sick of hearing this!

Fuck, this result is going to have me in a bad mood for days.

You Are Friend-able!

While you may not be the first on a booty call list, you have plenty of friends.
It's not that you are unattractive - you just haven't cultivated your sex appeal.
Disappointed? Don't be! There's tons you can do to increase your do-ability.
Open up, flirt more, get some new clothes. The sex is out there - it's up to you to find it.

Are You F***able?

More Great Quizzes from Quiz Diva

What Type of Music is your Sex Life?

I don't know why I take these quizzes. How accurate can they be when I don't even HAVE a sex life? But, based on the kind of sex I WANT to have, this is very accurate.

Your sex is like R&B!

Is there anything like getting freaky with Barry White's deep, sexy voice purring in your ear and raising up the heat?

For you, sex is about sensuality, passion, and indulging yourself in making sweet, sweet love all night long.

You savour every sensation, and every love-making session is likely to leave you sweaty, exhausted, and spent.

Some might call you hedonistic and self-indulgeant, but they're probably the same ones who have scheduled sex every Tuesday night at ten on the dot, missionary position only--they don't understand the joys and ecstacies of sex the way you do!

What Type of Music is Your Sex Like?

More Great Quizzes from Quiz Diva

Hostile Horoscope

This is the most hostile, angry sounding horoscope I've ever seen:

Sagittarius
Okay, the party is over. Time to put away those sinful pleasures, dear Sagittarius, such as the vintage champagne, the chocolate truffles and who knows what you won't even admit to hoarding secretly. Take a hard look at your home and get serious about putting things into order. That old reality check is coming, so today would be a good time to get ready by tidying up the house and getting your head into gear.

Are You Sadistic or Masochistic?

You are Sadistic.

You enjoy inflicting pain upon others to gain sexual satisfaction.
Are you an angry person by any chance?
Are You Sadistic or Masochistic?

More Great Quizzes from Quiz Diva

Hmmm... Maybe a little, I've never tried it. It might be fun, as long as it's consensual.

Scholars Grapple With Godzilla Legacy

Scholars Grapple With Godzilla Legacy

Something I Want to See...

I wanna see some tv show, or movie, or something, where the monster, villian, whatever, says, "I have slept for a thousand years... and, MAN, do I have to PISS!"

I said this to Murray today at work, and I thought he was going to die. Too bad he didn't. What makes it better was the voices I did it in. The first part was a deep, demonic, evil voice, but then for the second part, it was a more normal voice.

Dammit, it's true!

I just read this on some website, I've tried it several times, and it's true. Freaky.

While sitting, lift your right foot off the floor and make clockwise circles. Now, while doing this, draw the number '6' in the air with your right hand. Your foot will change direction and there's nothing you can do about it."

Fans Mark Dungeons & Dragons Anniversary

Fans Mark Dungeons & Dragons Anniversary

Sunday Halloween Irks Some in Bible Belt - EarthLink - U.S. News

Sunday Halloween Irks Some in Bible Belt - EarthLink - U.S. News

They've been doing that for years here in Purcell and the surrounding towns. I can't remember the last time we actually celebrated Haloween on the 31st. They always move it for one reason or another, sometimes it's because it falls on a Sunday, or sometimes it's because the big Purcell - Lexington Rivalry football game is on the same day as Halloween.

Does Depression Lead to Arson?

Probably not. But I found two strange news stories today that both deal with depressed people starting fires for no good reason at all.

Police: Man Watches Sad Movie, Burns Home

CORDELE, Ga. - A sad movie and a night of heavy drinking led a south Georgia man to set his house on fire, the man told police. Charles Alton Adams, 32, walked into the Crisp County Law Enforcement Center shortly after midnight Thursday and told deputies he had burned down his mobile home.

He said that after watching the movie, he drank nine or ten beers and decided to set fire to pillows on his bed. Adams did not tell authorities the name of the movie.

'I have asked that question myself,' said Crisp County Sheriff Donnie Haralson. 'The whole thing just doesn't really make sense.'

Haralson said Adams has been charged with arson. He remained in the county jail Friday morning as family members attempted to raise money for his bond.

Haralson said the doublewide home was gutted by the fire.


Papers: Litter Box Full, Woman Sets Fire

PORT ANGELES, Wash. - Court documents filed in Clallam County Superior Court tie an alleged arson in an apartment complex to a smelly cat litter box.

Prosecutors on Wednesday charged Marie Adeline Calkins, 63, with first-degree arson, accusing her of setting a fire Tuesday in her apartment on South C Street. No one was injured.

She told officers she lit the fire because 'she was depressed and upset that her kitty litter box was full and smelled,' court papers said.

Judge George L. Wood set bail at $50,000 and ordered a mental health assessment.

Chapman Wanted to 'Steal' Lennon's Fame

Chapman Wanted to 'Steal' Lennon's Fame

"BUFFALO, N.Y. - Mark David Chapman felt like a nobody and wanted to "steal John Lennon's fame" when he shot the former Beatle outside his New York City apartment in 1980, according to a transcript of Chapman's most recent parole hearing, released Thursday..."

Stolen 'Halo 2' hits pirate sites | CNET News.com

Stolen 'Halo 2' hits pirate sites | CNET News.com

Groom Gets New Heart on His Wedding Day

Groom Gets New Heart on His Wedding Day

Would-Be Bank Robber Gets Laughed At

Would-Be Bank Robber Gets Laughed At

52 Hits

I've had 52 hits today, I think that's a new personal record. I usually get between 30 and 35 a day. Probably half of them today though, were for various phrases involving the death and ashes of Veronica Lake, which was the subject of a news story I posted the other day. Most of the other half of the hits today were for "Jamie Lee Curtis Hermaphrodite." Ever since I posted that the other day, half my hits have come from that search. There's lots of results for that search too. Most of the sites say it's just a Urban Legend. Well, most of them say it's a popular urban legend, but that no one knows for sure whether it's true or not. I also got a couple of hits, maybe from the same person both times, for "Star Wars Porn." Well, I'm tired, so I'm going to bed. I've been playing Fable for about the last three hours. So far it seems very good. I've heard some mixed reviews about it though.

Movie Time

I've been so extremely bored lately. I seriously considered going to bed at 7:00pm the other night. I rented a game and two movies tonight, so that will give me something to do the next few days. Especially the game. They finally had Fable in, I've been wanting to play that, but it was never in. Then I also rented Fahrenheit 9/11 and League of Extraordinary Gentlemen. I've seen both of them before, but I really liked both of them. I'd like to own both of them, but I can't afford to buy any DVDs right now.

Well, I'm going to go start on Fable now.

Presidential Debate Drinking Game

Hooray for the Gummi!:

Meanwhile, I am a presidential debate whore. Loves it. I cannot believe people are going to vote for that hairy ass Bush, can't they see how fucking stupid he is? Really. Mr. President, name three mistakes you have made in office. I thank you for that. My war is great and we brought everyone to justice, this isn't wrong war wrong place wrong time flip flop wearing liberal rhetoric and prefab answers. Want some wood? What a fucking dumbass. What is the matter with this country? Who can be so blind to this moron who has ruined our street cred, killed our children in a war that never should have happened and let the terrorists sneak off to increase their numbers? It makes me mad. Kerry may have a big old head and a strange looking chin but at least he is smart. Orwellian? Fantastic! That should not scare people. But it does because it's not a word most people can read off of the side of a Happy Meal box. I'll tell you why Bushie thinks the air quality is just fine, it's because he had the EPA lower their clean air act standards, fuckwad. He don't know nothing. It's so frustrating, why can't they see Bush doesn't answer the questions and how worked up he gets, all monkey faced and confused? It's because he's looking for his banana as a reward. Put him in a cage and let him play on the tire swing where he belongs. Get out the vote, beetles. If you are undecided, what the hell is wrong with you? Parasites in your brain, most likely. Or crabs in your pubes. Don't make me angry. Ah, too late. Bush is probably a Yankees fan he's so stupid. Asses of evil. Watch the debate tonight and drink everytime he doesn't answer the question posed to him. You will be drunk in the first half hour. Drink for every child left behind. Drink for his so called medicare reform that won't happen until 2006. Drink if you take expensive prescription drugs not bought in Canada. Drink if you think religion is more important than a woman's right to choose. And just to show Im not overly biased, drink everytime Kerry says he has a plan and doesn't tell us what that plan is, but dammit he has a plan. Whatever that may be, and I don't care because he's got one. Unlike capuchin monkey love child who will instill a draft and send your loved ones to slaughter and send all your jobs overseas. Vote motherfuckers, vote. For Kerry! I heart Kerry and his big head.

Real-Life Fighter Christopher Reeve Dies

Real-Life Fighter Christopher Reeve Dies

Teen Found Alive 8 Days After Car Wreck

Teen Found Alive 8 Days After Car Wreck

Atomic register offers route to quantum computing?| New Scientist

Article: Atomic register offers route to quantum computing?| New Scientist

Another 'Harry Potter' Character to Die

Another 'Harry Potter' Character to Die

"LONDON - "Harry Potter" author J.K. Rowling said Friday that one of her characters will not survive the next book in her series about the young wizard..."

Expert: Online extortion growing more common | CNET News.com

Expert: Online extortion growing more common | CNET News.com

"Online extortion is rife and that cybercrime is set to get worse, the SANS Institute's research director said Friday.

"Six or seven thousand organizations are paying online extortion demands," Alan Paller said at the SANS Institute's Top 20 Vulnerabilities conference in London. "The epidemic of cybercrime is growing. You don't hear much about it because it's extortion, and people feel embarrassed to talk about it..."

Police: Girl Attacks Sitter With Machete

Police: Girl Attacks Sitter With Machete - EarthLink - Strange News

Everyone Loves Vaginas!

Someone got to my site today by searching for "Strange shape vaginas." my site was ninth on the list.

One of the top results for that search was this site. (Not work safe) Vagina Institute

This is not a porn site, it's a scientific institute that researches all aspects of the vagina. If you've got questions or problems concerning vaginas, or just want to know if your vagina is "normal," this is the site to go to. You can also help their efforts by telling them things about your vagina or your girlfriend's vagina. Also has vaginal care tips and tricks, including ways to keep your vagina tight.

Hooray for vaginas!

Speaking of which, here's the lyrics to a song I've been listening to a lot lately. I've had the CD for a few years, after Melissa recommended that I go out and get it, but I've recently been listening to it a lot. It probably has something to do with the fact that I've been really horny lately. Yes, even more than usual.

Pussy
Lords of Acid

I wanna see your pussy - everybody says it's nice
Can I come and visit - I'll be at your house tonight
They tell me it's soft to touch and really smooth
I can hardly wait to feel that pussy too
You wanna play with pussy all the time
To hide that kinda pussy is a crime
You say your pussy's clever and so slick
But I think that your pussy's kinda sick

I wanna bet your pussy ain't as pretty as mine
I don't hide my pussy like you do all the time
My pussy's just the sweetest thing that you've ever seen
Compared to mine your pussy's really ugly and mean
I bring my pussy everywhere I go
To watch my little pussy is a show
You say your pussy's clever and so slick
But I think that your pussy's really thick

She turns into a tiger when she's ready to eat
My pussy's always hungry for a big chunk of meat
So lay your little pussy right next to mine
You can bring her over round dinnertime
My pussy is the hippest thing around
She's always been the talk of the town
You say your pussy's clever and so slick
But I think that your pussy's mighty thick (meow, baby)

I wanna see your pussy show it to me
Let me see your pussy show it to me
Show me your pussy show it to me
I wanna pet your pussy show it to me

Gadget Helps Bathroom-Bashful Women

Gadget Helps Bathroom-Bashful Women

Blargh

Last Nights' Vice Presidential Debate according to whoever writes this blog: my left foot

CHENEY: blarghhraumphrabbledabble, fear me fear me.
EDWARDS: no connection y'all between 9-11 and saddam.
CHENEY: you weren't there that day
EDWARDS: i have hair
CHENEY: blargh

I Wish...

Sagittarius
Sex and passion are primarily on your mind today, dear Sagittarius [God, yes they are...], and you'll definitely want to get together with a romantic partner. Don't be surprised, however, if the precursor to lovemaking might be a long, involved, and very intimate conversation, revealing secrets that you thought you'd never repeat to anyone. You could learn some rather surprising things as well - though nothing that makes any difference to your feelings. Enjoy your evening!

Comic Rodney Dangerfield Dies at Age 82

Comic Rodney Dangerfield Dies at Age 82

This makes me sad, I really liked Rodney Dangerfield. I didn't even know he'd been in a coma or anything. I heard about his surgery, but the last I heard he was doing great after it.

Drew Carey Goes Green in New WB Series

Drew Carey Goes Green in New WB Series - EarthLink - Entertainment News

Jamie Lee Curtis

Here's a conversation I just had with Melissa.

subspecies23: Janet Leigh died, the woman from psycho
missy_custer: yeah.
missy_custer: Poor Jamie Lee Curtis
subspecies23: I hate Jamie Lee Curtis, lol
missy_custer: lol
missy_custer: she was born with a penis you know?
missy_custer: but it was so small, they had it removed
subspecies23: really?
subspecies23: wow
missy_custer: yeah!
subspecies23: and a vagina?
missy_custer: she was born a hermaphrodite
missy_custer: yep
subspecies23: cool
subspecies23: lol
missy_custer: lmfao
subspecies23: I always thought she had a manly looking face, lol
missy_custer: yeah, and when she gains weight....it's like a man, mostly in the midsection
missy_custer: and she had her boobs done
subspecies23: I did not know that
missy_custer: you can tell from the movie True Lies
subspecies23: how?
missy_custer: the way they stick out lol
subspecies23: her breasts?
missy_custer: yeah
missy_custer: she used to be pretty flat
subspecies23: she's always been ugly, to me
missy_custer: yeah
subspecies23: some guys think she's hot, but most people I know say she's ugly
missy_custer: i think she's beautiful when she smiles
subspecies23: mainly she just annoys me
missy_custer: i mean big smile
subspecies23: I don't think she's that awful looking, but she annoys me, like all those stupid cell phone commercials and stuff she used to do
missy_custer: lol

Yahoo! News - Man Mistakenly Cuts Off Penis, Dog Eats It

Yahoo! News - Man Mistakenly Cuts Off Penis, Dog Eats It

SpaceShipOne repeats its feat | CNET News.com

SpaceShipOne repeats its feat | CNET News.com

Texas Editor Defends Endorsing Kerry

Texas Editor Defends Endorsing Kerry

Veronica Lake's ashes found in NYC shop

Veronica Lake's ashes found in NYC shop - EarthLink

Sad, sad, sad...

Poll: 1 in 4 Hold Anti-Muslim Views - EarthLink - U.S. News

Somebody's Baking Brownies...

I am so fucking bored right now.

I baked some brownies the other night. They actually turned out good, even though there were three things working against them:

1. I've never baked brownies, or a cake, or anything like that before.
2. I messed up.
3. My oven is a piece of shit.

Actually, because of #3, it turned out that #2 was a good thing. Let me explain. I went to the store and bought a pack of Betty Crocker brownie mix. I did not realize that one pack would not be enough for my cake pan. So when I was mixing it up, I was like, "Uh oh, this isn't making shit, it's not even gonna cover the bottom, I'll probably end up having to throw out the whole mess." But I went on anyway. I poured it into the cake pan, and it just barely covered the bottom, I had to tilt the pan around to get it to cover the whole bottom.

My oven is a piece of shit. It has been ever since I moved in. I quickly learned that I needed to set the temperature 25 to 50 degrees higher than what the directions or recipe called for, and cook it much longer, sometimes up to twice as long, depending on what's being cooked. Also, it doesn't matter how long I cook stuff, the bottom never cooks, which is really weird since the heat comes from the bottom heating element. For example, whenever I cook a pizza, I can leave it in there until the cheese on top is starting to turn brown and crunchy, but the crust on bottom will still be completely raw.

But since these brownies were a paper-thin layer, I decided to leave the temperature setting at recommended setting, and figured it would only take them a few minutes to cook. It still took over half an hour. I almost left them in too long though, the top was just about to start getting hard, but, the bottom was barely done. If I had actually cooked two packages the bottom wouldn't have cooked at all, so it was a good thing I made too little.

In an attempt to remedy the pizza problem, I got one of those special pizza pans with the holes on bottom that are supposed to cook frozen pizza crusts better. I thought maybe this would let the bottom actually cook. I just tried, I just took the pizza out of the oven while writing the first half of this post. It didn't work. It helped a tiny bit. The crust isn't completely raw, but it's still pretty soggy.

I wish I knew what was wrong with my oven.

Another Quiz Thing

(x) I have kissed a member of the opposite sex
( ) I have kissed a member of the same sex
( ) I crashed a friend's car
( ) I have been to Japan
(x) I rode in a taxi
(x) I have been in love
(x) I've had sex
( ) I've had sex in public
( ) I've shoplifted
( ) I have been in a fist fight
( ) I've had a 3-some
( ) I've snuck out of my parent's house
( ) I have been arrested
( ) I've made out with a stranger
( ) I've gone on a blind date
( ) I've had a crush on a teacher
( ) I've celebrated Mardi-Gras in New Orleans
( ) I have been to Europe
(x) I've skipped school
( ) I have purposely set myself on fire
(x) I have eaten sushi
( ) I have been snowboarding
(x) I have been happy with myself
( ) I have met a movie star
( ) I've done ecstasy
( ) I've been caught smoking
( ) Partied every weekend for the last month.
( ) Slept for more than 15 hours at a time
( ) Been a redneck
(x) Gotten an detention
( ) Gotten an ISS (in school suspension)
( )Gotten an OSS (out of school suspension)
( ) Ever run away from home?
( ) Ever been stalked?
( ) Ever stalked anyone for real in RL (real life)?
( ) Ever had someone try to kill you / Ever fought for your life?
(x) Ever moved?
( ) Ever driven across the entire continent of Canada?
(x) Passed out? (came very close to it, when I got bit by a fiddleback spider)
( ) Gone to an mental institute?
( ) Had the police in your house?
(x) Ever been teachers pet.
( ) I've blackmailed someone.
( ) I'm a tomboy
( ) I used to be a tomboy.
( ) I use makeup.
(x) I swear.
(x) I can speak spanish. (Just a few words)
(x) I am well-read.
( )I can do hurdles without knocking down any of them down.
( ) I can run a 6 minute mile
(x) I like to sing in the shower. (I like to, but I don't because the neighbors could hear me)
( ) I have a WINDOWS computer.
( ) I am dependent, or so I presume.
( ) I've never had a C or lower before in school for a final grade. (I got a D in high school art. That's the only time, unless you count the F's I got when I dropped out of college.)
(x) I do or have done Neopets before. (Not Neopets, but I did have a Tamagotchi, and a Pocket Pikachu thing,)
( ) I am or have been vegetarian.
(x) I'm an anarchist, or plan on being one when I grow up. (I was for a brief time in college, until I realised that Anarchy has a basic flaw... Rest of the comment has been deleted, as it turned into a long rant.)
( ) I'm either Christian, Islam, or Jewish.
( ) I am attracted to those of my gender.
( ) I have been truly homeless before.
( ) I have movie-hopped for over 5 hours in a day before.
( ) Ever slightly wet yourself while laughing?
( ) Have you ever caused someone to be hospitalized?
(x) Sung the Spongebob theme acapello?
( ) Answered someone in a different language without realizing it?
( ) Cussed a teacher, or adult out in two different languages (other than English) at the same time?
(x) Driven a car four or more times illegally in a parking lot before taking your learner's test? (probably, I don't remember.)
(x) Suffered from three months of straight depression? (More like three years.)
( ) Been to a rock concert.
( ) Watched a "Whose Line Is It Anyway?" marathon.
( ) Had sex with a teacher.
(x) Watched porn.

Last person who:

x. slept in your bed: Besides me? Alicia, a couple of months ago when she came over and got too drunk to drive home. Wow, I can't believe that was almost two months ago.
x. saw you cry: I don't know.
x. you shared a bed with: Alicia. See the above answer.
x. you went to the mall with: My mom and sister.
x. yelled at you: I can't remember the last time I actually got yelled at. It's usually more like subtle bitching, usually from my Boss.
x. you hugged: Does it have to be a real hug, or does embracing during sex count? If you want an actual hug it was probably Genie, this girl I used to work with. This was probably at least a year ago.

have you ever said...

x. said "i love you" and meant it? yes
x. been to new york: Not New York City, but I've been to Buffalo, NY>
x. hawaii: no
x. mexico: no
x. danced naked: I don't dance.
x. had an imaginary friend: No.
x. worst feeling in the world: Being this fucking lonely.
x. what is the first thing you think when you wake up: "Goddammit. I don't want to go to work today." Or, "Thank God, I don't have to work today."
x. do you sleep with a stuffed animal: Does your mom count? No, no I don't.
x. favorite sport to watch: I hate sports. Wait, is group sex a sport?
x. piercing/tattoos: None. I'd like a tattoo, but I'm too poor, and can't decide what to get anyway.

extra stuff

x. do you do drugs: No.
x. who is your best friend: I can't really pick a best ONE anymore, I have three best friends: Chris, Melissa, and Alicia, in no particular order.
x. what are you most scared of: Real ghosts, and the thought of being abducted by aliens, but it only scares me if they're bad ghosts or aliens.
x. what clothes do you sleep in: I usually sleep naked.
x. been in love: yes
x. what type automobile do you drive: 1998 Buick LeSabre. What's really sad, is that I had to go look.
x. do you have a job: yes
x. do you like being around people: Very few of them.
x. have you ever cried over something someone of the opposite sex did: God, yes.
x. do you have a "type" of person you always go after: Not really.
x. are you lonely right now: Yes.
x. ever afraid you'll never get married: yes
x. do you want to get married: yes
x. do you want kids: Yes.

favorite

x. room in house: I don't know, I like the whole apartment, but, even if you don't count sleeping time, I spend the most time in my bedroom, because that's where my computer is.
x. type(s) of music: Many different kinds.
x. color: I've never really had a favorite color. It was black for a while, but I don't really have one now. I like different things to be different colors. I like walls in a house to be white, but I don't wear much white clothing. I like black and silver and grays for cars, but I also like yellow on certain models of cars.
x. month: December. It contains both my birthday and Christmas. I love Christmas.
x. stone: Kidney. I don't know, what a stupid question.

in the last 48 hours have you...

x. cried: Yes.
x. bought something: Yes.
x. gotten sick: I felt a little nauseated last night after having a couple of drinks.
x. sang: Yes, but I only sing when I'm alone, or in my car, and even then it's usually quietly and to myself.
x. met someone new: No.
x. talked to someone: Yes.
x. missed someone: Yes.
x. hugged someone: No.
x. kissed someone: No.

Does anyone have any idea what I'm thinking of?

I was just sitting here, and had an idea I at first though was original, but then I realized that, no, I've seen it someone before. At first I couldn't remember if it was from a book, or movie, or cartoon, or comic book, or what. But now that I've thought of it for a while, I remember it was a cartoon. I can almost see it too, it's right on the tip of my brain, so to speak. Ok, the plot is this. Some villian in the cartoon, who is either microscopic in size, or is able to shrink that way, I don't remember which, starts destroying things, like buildings and landmarks, but the process would work on anything, even people probably. He does this by removing the "key atom," the foundation atom on which the whole structure is built. When this atom is removed, whatever the thing is just disintegrates, it falls apart into its component atoms. So, of course, the hero of the cartoon, who may have been a detective, I don't remember, has to shrink down to a microscopic size to chase him down and stop him. Oh, I just remembered another major portion of the cartoon. The bad guy's name is Quark, because he's, well... a quark, and the hero stops him buy chasing him onto a dictionary page, and points out to Quark, the dictionary definition of quark, which says that a quark is a hypothetical component of an atom, meaning that quarks may or may not even exist. At this, quark dissappears into nothingness because he's little more than an idea.

So does anybody know what cartoon this was from? I can see pretty much the entire cartoon in my head, I just can't remember what show it was or who the hero was. I doubt anyone who reads this blog will be able to help, though. Not any of the people that read this blog that I know, anyway.

I jsut got an IM from Alicia, asking if swole was a word. I knew it probably wasn't, but had no idea what she was talking about, until she said, "as in the past tense of swollen." So then I knew right away it wasn't but for some reason it took me a few minutes to remember what the correct form would be, which is "swelled."

OH! OH! Never mind, I'm pretty sure I remember what cartoon it was now! I re-read the post one last time before hitting publish, and suddenly remembered. I'm pretty sure it was Secret Squirrel. Not the old Secret Squirrel cartoons, but the newer ones, which I think were part of the Two Stupid Dogs show. I had forgotten about Two Stupid Dogs too.

VROOOOOOOMMMM!

Wow, I feel absolutely fantastic tonight, and in fact, all day long. It can't be the lexapro already, it must just be a placebo effect or something, but I've been very happy all day, and getting more and more hyper as the day goes on. In fact, I feel so good, it's time for something I haven't done in a long time, but used to do all the time: write a really really long post! Aren't you lucky.

Where to start? Yesterday, I guess. I didn't do much yesterday, I was off so I just sat around the house most of the day, but then when I went to return Prince of Persia, I decided to buy some movies. Movie Gallery is having a sale, buy two used games or movie and get two free. And the VHS are only $5.99. Even though I hate VHS I decided to buy some anyway. I could barely find four I wanted though. The only one I really wanted was Dagon, which is a horror movie based on a couple of H.P. Lovecraft's stories. Now there were lots of horrible B-movies based on his stories made in the 70's and 80's, but this one was made in 2001, and from what I hear, is actually really good. I've never seen it yet. Then I noticed they also had Alien for sale. I'd been wanting to rent that anyway, so I just bought it. I'd never seen it, can you believe that? I wish now I hadn't bought it, I didn't like it. Well, I liked it, it was ok, but it was kinda boring. Especially the first 45 minutes or so. I also got Born in East L.A., which I've seen many times anyway, and Bicentennial Man. Bicentennial Man is one of the greatest movies ever. This was only the second time I've seen it. The first time I saw it, it actually made me cry. Which actually isn't that hard, movies, and even music, make me cry on a fairly regular basis. Well, not really cry usually, but bring a tear or two to my eyes. Anyway, it's a great movie, and you should see it if you haven't.

Sadly, I found tonight, that two of the movies don't work. And, wouldn't you know it, one of them is Dagon. The other is Born in East L.A. I don't know if they'll take them back either, because already threw some of the packaging away. For some reason when you buy the movies, they give you the original movie box, plus the plastic box that they keep the movie in, and has all their serial numbers and stuff like that on them. I threw those away, and just kept the original boxes.

Today at work was very busy. Very very busy. One of the busiest days we've had in months. It was also fun though, because I was in a really good mood, and several interesting things happened. First there was a lady that needed to button her shirt. Not that I'm complaining, but it was embarrassing, especially because at first I wasn't entirely sure if she knew it needed buttoning, it turns out she did. Because I saw her look down and she didn't seem surprised or anything, and still didn't button it up. Her shirt was unbuttoned about halfway down. She was wearing a bra, or a bra-like object, but it could barely contain her breasts.. It was great. The shirt was still closed at the top, or appeared that way, and that's why at first I thought just one or two buttons had accidentally come undone, but then I noticed that the top button wasn't buttoned, the shirt was just pulled semi-closed at the top and appeared that way. She seemed to be making a great effort to expose her breasts. I did the best I could to pretend like I didn't notice though.

Then later, a guy came through with a pink poodle. Yes, a pink poodle, no one at work believe me either until they saw it themselves. It was a poodle, and it was dyed hot-pink. It was cool. I was like "This guy's got a pink poodle!", and Michelle said "Bullshit," and I said "Come look for yourself if you don't believe me. So she did. Half the employees were all standing around in the drive through staring at this guy and his poodle. He didn't say anything about it though. Someone said "What kind of GUY has a pink poodle?" It was very friendly too, it was standing in the window wagging its tail at me.

The best part of the work day was when I disgusted Michelle. I don't know why she thought it was disgusting, everyone else thinks it's weird, but really funny. Part of the local newspaper was over in drive through all morning, and one of the headlines was about a pig contest. For all you city slickers out there, that's where people who raise pigs bring their best pigs, and they get judged on a variety of points. Like a dog show. I hope no one actually needed this explanation, but you never know. So anyway, I went over to Michelle and Murray and said, "I wish I was the judge in a pig contest. I'd have a swimsuit competition!" They both laughed a lot. That's not what grossed Michelle out, what did that was a few minutes later, I walked back over there and said "But wait, pigs have 8 nipples, they'd have to wear four bikini tops!" For some reason that really grossed Michelle out, and all I had to do the rest of the day was even just mention pigs, and she'd get disgusted. I'd really like to see that, a pig in a bikini. Shawn said he would too. What would you do with all the left over bikini bottoms though? You could give them to some women you know, and say, "Sorry, that's all they had, guess you'll just have to go topless." That would be great.

Oh yeah, I forgot to mention. After the pink poodle left, I began singing the pink poodle song, which I just made up on the spur of the moment. It goes, "Pink Poodle! Piiiiiiiink Poodle..." and etc and etc. Kinda like when I was sitting in my car, and the squirrel ran across the fence in front of me, and then leaped onto a tree, and I sang the "Yay, squirrel!" song as it did so. As it ran down the fence I went "Squirrel, squirrel squirrel," and as it leaped to the tree I yelled, "YAY!"

Then I came home and paid my rent, and had a talk with the nice new landlady about some work that needs to be done to my apartment, but how I never call the maintenance guy because he always breaks more than he fixes. It would seem she hears that complaint a lot. I told her about the time he was trying to fix my toilet, and broke the tank in half. She said she'll have him come over and look at some of the stuff sometime soon, and she'll come with him, to make sure he doesn't break anything. Then I got dinner at Sonic. Then I came home and watched Bicentennial Man, which put me in an even better mood than I already was in. And now here I am. YAY!

Ok, I think that's it for now. This post ended up not being quite as long as I expected, but it's still pretty big. Wow, that sounded dirty. Or at least it did to me, but I'm a pervert.

Oh wait! That reminds me of something else that happened at work I had almost forgotten about. Some woman came through drive through and she looked like a crack whore. I mentioned this to several of the employees, and most of them agreed. I was telling Michelle, and I also said "And she's got either lipstick or blood smeared all over her chin." And Michelle went and snuck a peek and said something about, she does, maybe she really is a crack whore. I said "Yeah, maybe she's been doing unspeakable things to guys, and smeared her lipstick." Michelle thought that was gross too. I was laughing like a maniac the whole day at work today.

Today was a great day. I can think of only a few things that could have made it better, but I'm not going to say it, because it's dirty. So very dirty.

Wis. Town Plans Egg Battle Re-Enactment

Wis. Town Plans Egg Battle Re-Enactment

"EGG HARBOR, Wis. - Plans to re-enact the egg battle that led to the naming of this town in 1825 were simply too true to be good, state officials have decided.

"The Department of Natural Resources said Saturday's event must use plastic eggs, not the real thing, in depicting the historic egg-throwing battle between crews of two boats docked in the harbor on Lake Michigan's Green Bay..."

I did not know the combover was patented...

'Combover' Engineers Given Ig Nobel Awards - EarthLink - Strange News

Mount St. Helens Erupts After 18 Years

Mount St. Helens Erupts After 18 Years