Strange Things are Afoot at the Circle K.: Tractor

Tuesday, September 14, 2004

Tractor

More fucked-up-edness from Rebecca. She has one of the strangest, most entertaining blogs ever. Though she doesn't seem to write lesbian erotica anymore.

That's my new "Key to Happiness." A tractor. If I had a tractor I could go steal a Free Walking Hen from the farm because tractors are commonplace on a farm. If I had a tractor I would just grind up all the leaves in the yard and mulch them rather than painstakingly rake them. If I had a tractor I would be the most popular girl in town. If I had a tractor I would give the neighborhood kids rides (I think the closest ones are like two miles down the road a bit but I could go find them). If I had a tractor I would tap a keg in the driveway and do donuts around it and make the chew spitting locals dodge the tractor to fill their cups. That would be hot. I would paint it pink and I would have a fuzzy steering wheel cover and a drink holder. If I had a tractor I would be the best housewife ever. I swear. Maybe. Mmm, tractor.