Strange Things are Afoot at the Circle K.: July 2004

Friday, July 30, 2004

I hate thinking up titles.

Well, we've had some mixed news on when my mom's coming home. My mom called late last night, after I made last night's post, and said that they were moving her to a private room now. So, we took that as a sign that she probably wasn't going to be getting out soon. Also, she has a dietary health nurse that comes in occasionally, and my mom mentioned to her that she was hoping maybe she'd get out in a day or two, and the nurse said "Oh, I wouldn't count on that." So we had about decided that my mom wouldn't be getting out anytime soon, which sounds like it's probably a good thing though, since the doctors still haven't even been able to figure out why this whole thing happened. But then today, my mom called again, and said that the woman taking care of her today said she was doing better, and that if she was doing any better tomorrow, she may be released tomorrow. But this woman wasn't the real doctor, and may not even have that authority. The doctor who's been looking after my mom is some big shot in his field, but he's out for the weekend, and this was just like some assistant or nurse looking after her today that told her this. So, who knows if she will get out tomorrow or not?

Well, it's almost 11:00 now, I'm going to bed.

Thursday, July 29, 2004

That's no moon, it's a space station!

Cassini finds the Death Star

Thanks to *.*

More Mom

Like I said yesterday, they never did hook my mom up to dialysis like they originally said they would. Which is good I guess, if she doesn't really need it, especially considering the price. Yesterday she passed a little urine, but her kidneys still weren't cleaning her system out or anything. Today, though, she has passed a lot more, she's using the bathroom almost regularly, and they said her kidneys are finally starting to work and clean her system a little. They're not even doing anything, they've just got her there under observation. They haven't actually done anything to her since she went to the hospital, they're just observing her and doing urine tests to see if her kidneys have started working yet. Since she seems to be getting better, she thinks she may actually get out soon, maybe Saturday.

So I watched my sister today and yesterday, we just sat around the house all day, playing video games and stuff, and today we watched Hellboy (just playing around with these new features Blogger has), which I bought last night. I'm seriously having to cut my spending lately, it's going to be hard to pay all my bills this month anyway, since I had to pay the car insurance on top of everything else a few weeks ago. But I still bought Hellboy though, I've been waiting for it to come out ever since I saw it. It's got a ton of extras on the DVD also, it's a two DVD set. I haven't watched any of that stuff yet though, I probably will in a few minutes.

I've been playing a lot of video games the last few days, since I've been off any everything. I don't actually play video games very often in recent years. The other day I started a new game over on Metroid Prime, and played that for a few hours. Then the next day I started a new game on The Legend of Zelda: The Windwaker, and played that for a few hours as well, but now I've started a new game on Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic, and have put almost 12 hours of play into it in just a little over two days.

That's all the news I have for now.

Wednesday, July 28, 2004

Mom Update

My dad just got back from the hospital, and picked my sister up. I asked him how mom was, and she said that she's passed a little fluid, but just a tiny bit, like a couple of ounces or something. The doctor says her kidneys are all swollen up like she's been in a car wreck or something and injured them. He asked her all these questions about whether she'd been doing any abnormal activities that she's not used to or anything, but she hasn't really. The only thing she's been doing is she did a little work moving furniture and stuff since they're remodeling the house some, but she's always done stuff like that, so it shouldn't have hurt her, especially not like that or anything.

Well, that's really all the news I have about it, my dad was only here a minute or two. I'm going to go over to my parent's house later and maybe I'll learn some more then. Probably not though, he said there wasn't really anything to tell other than that. They never did hook her up to the dialysis machines though, for some reason.

Evil Horoscope

This horoscope sucks, considering what just happened.

Give your loved ones the attention they need today, dear Sagittarius. Don't let another day go by without telling them that you love them. Life is short and getting shorter with each passing day.

Tuesday, July 27, 2004


Well, I'm finally writing a real post, but it's no reason to rejoice.

My mom was just taken to the hospital, they've got her listed as very critical condition. Complete kidney failure. The real name for it was Acute Retinal Failure, or something like that, I don't know if that's spelled right. We knew something was wrong, because she hadn't peed in a little over 48 hours. What's more, she said that it wasn't just that she couldn't pee, but that she didn't even need to. On top of that, she said she was feeling dizzy today too. I was telling her all afternoon it sounded like she needed to go to the doctor right now. She kept saying she couldn't though, because we're having some remodeling done to the house, and the guy was supposed to be there any minute, and she couldn't go until he got there and left. I said I'd stay there and wait for him, but she still didn't want to. She couldn't just call him and tell him not to come either, because he was already on his way. He had been for several hours. He called at 2:00 saying he was just leaving and was on his way from Norman, which should have only been about a 20 minute drive. He finally got there at 4:45. She was gone by then though, but not by long. She finally called the doctor around 3:00 to see if they could get her an appointment today, but they said no, for something like that she'd have to go to the emergency room. She told them, something along the lines of, "Well, I guess I just won't go to the doctor then, because I'm not going to the emergency room," and hung up. She didn't want to go to the emergency room, because it's so expensive, and all the hospitals that our insurance covers are over an hour's drive away, up in OKC. Finally, when my dad got home from work around 4:00, he convinced her to let him take her to the hospital. They went to the one here in Purcell, but said that if they had to put her in the hospital, they'd leave, and take her up to the city. So I had to stay at my parent's house with my sister. My dad finally came home about 7:30, and said that my mom was in an ambulance on the way to Baptist hospital, which is way the fuck up there, almost in Edmond, at least a 90 minute drive away from here. He told me what they said was wrong with her, and that she was in very critical condition, and that they were going to have to put her on Dialysis machines and everything. He also pointed out that with how hush-hush make it seem better than it really is the hospitals around here are anymore, that for them to actually come out and say that she was in very critical condition and was in some pretty deep trouble, that that's a sign that she really might not make it.

So my dad had me call work, and take the next week off, so I can stay home and watch my sister while he's at the hospital and at work and stuff. Luckily he's going to pay me $200, which is approximately what I make in a week at work, since I'm taking a week off. We still haven't worked out exactly what the plan is going to be though, since he works such weird hours. He leaves around 4:00am, and gets home a little after 4:00pm. Tomorrow, he's off, but he'll be up at the hospital for a while, so he's going to drop Marci off here, and she'll spend the day here at my apartment. Then she'll probably go home and spend the night at home, but then when he leaves for work, I'll come over and sleep on the couch or something. We're still not sure yet what will happen. Who knows, she may end up not being as bad as they think, and I might not even have to watch Marci for more than a few days. But it's doubtful. They says she's so bad, but she doesn't really feel bad, other than being bloated up and a little dizzy. She feels good enough that she called us a couple of times after they got her up to the hospital. Oh, I forgot to mention a couple of things. She also gained 15 pounds basically over night, since all the fluids she's taking in are just staying in her system. Also, she takes a lot of pills everyday, for various other health problems, she's got four different medications she takes at least once a day, some of them more than once. But since her kidneys aren't working and filtering things out of her system, all the pills she's taken in the last two or three days are still in her system, so not have her kidneys failed, she's also on the verge of overdose on some of these medications. My dad and my sister both said that they've been telling her something might be wrong with her for a while now, because the last two or three months her urine has smelled so bad you couldn't even go in the bathroom after her.

So, that's all I have to say about that, as Forrest Gump would say. Now for news about me. I was just in the doctor's office yesterday, finally getting my ingrown toenails cut out again. I don't even know if I've mentioned it, I've been neglecting my blog so much lately, but about two months ago my left big toe nail started getting really bad again. I had both big toe nails cut out maybe a year ago, but they just grew back ingrown again. For some reason both times the right toe wasn't that bad, but the left toe would just get horribly infected. About three weeks ago it started getting that way again. It got so bad I actually missed some work, and when I went to the doctor he sad he didn't know for sure if it would need cut out, but that even if it did, they couldn't do it just then, because it was so infected that if they cut into it, I'd get blood poisoning for sure. So he gave me a subscription for some antibiotics, and told me that if it still looked bad afterwards to call and make an appointment to have it cut out. So I took them, and it helped a little, but not much. I kept trying to make an appointment, but never could seem to, because I was waiting for a good time to do it, as far as work went. Because after having them cut out, I have to take a couple of days off from work, and not be on my feet any more than I have too. But Allen kept making the schedule early, before I got the chance to make the appointment, so I'd be like, "Well, I just call next Monday then." In the meantime my toe started getting even worse. My parents almost made me go to the emergency room for it Saturday night, but then they had me soak it, and it got a little better, so they said maybe it could wait until Monday. I called Monday morning and they were able to work me in, since I was off that day too. So I had already taken Tuesday and Wednesday off too, because of my toe, but now because of this thing with my mom, I took this whole schedule week off. The week at Carl's Jr. is Thursday through Wednesday.

Well, a lot of other stuff has happened over the last few weeks since I wrote a real post, but, naturally, I don't really feel like writing about it right now.

Monday, July 26, 2004

Hip-Hop Stars Aim to Get Fans to the Polls

Hip-Hop Stars Aim to Get Fans to the Polls

I like this, and not just because most of them will be voting democrat.

Sunday, July 25, 2004


Dammit, I was in the middle of writing a post when Blogger fucked up and lost my post. Don't worry, it wasn't a real post though, just another list of strange search terms that have led to my site, such as "buffy fanfiction urethra," and "the good things bout the 50's."

Exciting News

Next Up for Lucas: 'Revenge of the Sith'

Sad News

Oscar-Winning Composer Jerry Goldsmith Dies in L.A.

"Oscar-winning film and TV composer Jerry Goldsmith died of cancer in Beverly Hills on July 21, 2004. He was 75. Goldsmith's long and distinguished career included a best original score Academy Award for the 1976 movie 'The Omen.' He also received several Academy Award nominations for best original score, including 'Mulan,' 'L.A. Confidential,' 'Hoosiers,' 'Poltergeist,' 'Star Trek: The Motion Picture,' 'Chinatown,' 'Patton' and 'Planet of the Apes."

Friday, July 23, 2004

'Jeopardy' Phenom Shatters One-Day Record

'Jeopardy' Phenom Shatters One-Day Record

Thursday, July 22, 2004 bed.

I got a fortune cookie today that says "A thrilling time is in your immediate future."

Vanity License Plate Brings Tickets

Vanity License Plate Brings Tickets

"WILMINGTON, Del. - A vanity license tag chosen as a gag has left its owner holding the bag. Jim Cara thought the "NOTAG" plate he got for his Suzuki motorcycle would give people a laugh.

"Instead, he found that the laugh - along with more than 200 parking violations - was on him. "

Alton Brown

Alton - Rants and Raves

Here's a cool rant by Alton Brown, the coolest person on the Food Network. I like his show, but I hardly ever got to watch it much, especially now that I don't even have TV.

US army food... just add urine

BBC NEWS | World | Americas | US army food... just add urine

"The US military has devised a way to ensure its troops in battle need never go hungry - with dried food that can be rehydrated using dirty water or urine."

Strange things in Japan

My site comes up as the number one, and strangely also the number two, result when searching Google for "Strange things in Japan." This excites me very much. Just like Alicia's mom.

Someone else also go to my site by searching for "A linguistic analysis of Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure."

Other searches which led to my blog are "evil teacher," and the very badly spelled "hourny pictures," which I can't figure out why that would lead to my blog, because I don't know when I would've ever used the word "hourny."

Someone else got here by searching for "old english 800 malt liquor t-shirts." That worked because of this: "What is the difference between Old English Furniture Polish and Old English 800 Malt Liquor? None that I can taste."

I've recently also been getting lots of people coming here when searching for various phrases concerning the Penny-Arcade Guildhall event.

I'm also getting a lot of people searching for "Mayday Mystery," which you may remember is a link I posted a while back.

I'm also receiving a large amount of people searching for "Miracles of Allah," which is another link I posted around the same time.

Word of the Day: Eructation

Word of the Day for Thursday July 22, 2004

eructation \ih-ruhk-TAY-shuhn\, noun:
The act of belching; a belch.

Ignatius belched, the gassy eructations echoing between the walls of the alley. --John Kennedy Toole, A Confederacy of Dunces

The explosion, at this distance, sounds like a faint, feeble eructation. --Peter Conrad, "Bangs to whimpers," The Observer, March 7, 2004

Eructation comes from Latin eructatio, from eructare, from e-, "out" + ructare, "to belch."

Survey: 1 in 5 Germans Drink to Get Drunk

Survey: 1 in 5 Germans Drink to Get Drunk

"LONDON - Almost 1 in 5 German adults - or 17 percent - believe the point of drinking is to get drunk, according to a survey released Wednesday."

I'm not German, but... DUH. I know that's the only reason I drink. I certainly don't drink because I enjoy the stuff. I can't stand the taste of beer, or pretty much every other form of alcohol, if I'm going to go through the pain of drinking it, I damn well better get really drunk.

Wednesday, July 21, 2004

The air tastes fruity...

I was just in the kitchen making Kool-aid, and when I poured the bag of powder into the pitcher, it made a huge cloud that filled the entire kitchen with a fruity red haze. I inhaled a bunch of it too, so now I've got this weird fruit punch flavor in the back of my throat.

I really should write a real post tomorrow. I'm off, so maybe I will.

Raitt Dedicates 'About to End' to Bush

Raitt Dedicates 'About to End' to Bush

Swedes Get Sloshed on Alcoholic Soap Suds

Swedes Get Sloshed on Alcoholic Soap Suds

"STOCKHOLM, Sweden - Some people at a three-day music festival in southern Sweden got more than just clean hands from the liquid soap in the portable toilets. They got a nice clean buzz, too."

Monkey Apes Humans by Walking on Two Legs

Monkey Apes Humans by Walking on Two Legs

Tuesday, July 20, 2004

Four Inmates Flee Jail, Return With Beer

Four Inmates Flee Jail, Return With Beer

Halo 2 News!

Actually, it's not really news, as this article is almost two months old, but it's got a lot of things I hadn't heard before. This excites me even more than that "laser vision" story. Once again, this is taken from the Penny Arcade site, which is an excellent site not only for hilarious comics, but also for videogame news.

I know that people would probably like to know about Halo 2 multiplayer, but even having played several rounds there are things I don't know - information they're reserving for release. So, things I do know: if the host drops, another player is automatically chosen to be the host and the game continues. The needler, always my weapon of choice, has been nudged up in terms of damage - to see an enemy rocked by cascades of exploding shards from dual needlers is pretty spectacular. Of course, that's just one manifestation of dual wielding - feel free to use a needler and a submachine gun, two subs, whatever - just be aware that you can't throw grenades in that state. How would you, really. You can customize your model to a greater degree, including decals. By training the Covenant energy sword on an opponent for a few seconds, you can kill with one strike - first you have to get it, though, and as you can imagine it's something of a hot commodity. If an asshole is firing on you and yours from a mounted heavy machinegun, you can pulverize his ledge with a rocket destroying him and his fancy gun. Like Battle Armor He-Man, vehicles can now take progressive damage - and eventually, even explode. The ghost, which now has a special super boost fasty mode, will actually shudder before exploding in a manner which says "Get The Fuck Away." Speaking of vehicles, you can absolutely kick somebody out of one and take it. It probably goes without saying that you can play as the Covenant, now. If you'd like to see these things in action, buy all means - avail yourselves of the videos over at TeamXbox.

Those are all facts, and it's important to have them, but speaking qualitatively this is the actual Halo and the Halo you have now doesn't even belong on the same continuum.

They have made it clear that they will be using online play in ways that other Live titles don't, ways that will better emulate the camaraderie of Clan play. We know that features have recently been added to Live to accommodate some of this: teams can be formed that exist between multiple game sessions, tournament and ladder functionality exists in-game, and even player-made logos or decals can be created and applied to models if the developer chooses to expose that feature. Every time I have brought these things up, in fact, any time I suggest anything at all, I hear, "No, it's better than that. Better. No, better."

It didn't sound like some vague concept, vast, undefined and therefore able to contain the set of all things. It sounded like they already knew and weren't telling anybody.

Billionaires For Bush

Billionaires For Bush: Our Candidate

Advocacy Groups Challenge Fox News Slogan

Advocacy Groups Challenge Fox News Slogan

It's about time. Fox news is one of the most slanted of all media organizations.

Sunday, July 18, 2004

The coolest fucking thing I've ever heard...

BBC NEWS | Technology | 'Laser vision' offers new insights

This story excites me to no end. Sexually.

But most importantly, how the fuck did I not hear about this before?! This story is from APRIL! I'd think this thing would've been all over the internet, yet I'm just now finding it, in the news archives over at Penny Arcade.

Saturday, July 17, 2004

Dubya's Prayer

Hello, God? It's Me, Dubya / Lord? Bush here. I'm confused. Why won't you crush Kerry and smite the heathens? Hello?

Laws Concerning Food and Drink

Laws Concerning Food and Drink - 97.02

These are absolutely hilarious, even more so if you have had experience with children, I'm sure. It's the laws of the dinner table (and a few other things), written as though they were passages from the bible.

Laws When at Table

And if you are seated in your high chair, or in a chair such as a greater person might use, keep your legs and feet below you as they were. Neither raise up your knees, nor place your feet upon the table, for that is an abomination to me. Yes, even when you have an interesting bandage to show, your feet upon the table are an abomination, and worthy of rebuke. Drink your milk as it is given you, neither use on it any utensils, nor fork, nor knife, nor spoon, for that is not what they are for; if you will dip your blocks in the milk, and lick it off, you will be sent away. When you have drunk, let the empty cup then remain upon the table, and do not bite it upon its edge and by your teeth hold it to your face in order to make noises in it sounding like a duck; for you will be sent away.

When you chew your food, keep your mouth closed until you have swallowed, and do not open it to show your brother or your sister what is within; I say to you, do not so, even if your brother or your sister has done the same to you. Eat your food only; do not eat that which is not food; neither seize the table between your jaws, nor use the raiment of the table to wipe your lips. I say again to you, do not touch it, but leave it as it is. And though your stick of carrot does indeed resemble a marker, draw not with it upon the table, even in pretend, for we do not do that, that is why. And though the pieces of broccoli are very like small trees, do not stand them upright to make a forest, because we do not do that, that is why. Sit just as I have told you, and do not lean to one side or the other, nor slide down until you are nearly slid away. Heed me; for if you sit like that, your hair will go into the syrup. And now behold, even as I have said, it has come to pass.
This is just a small sample, the article is much longer.

The Austin Chronicle Screens: 'Lost Ark,' Resurrected

The Austin Chronicle Screens: 'Lost Ark,' Resurrected

The story begins in Biloxi, Miss., with three boys -- Eric Zala, Chris Strompolos, and Jayson Lamb -- and one adventure hero, Indiana Jones. Handsome, endlessly resourceful, as quick with a whip as he was with a quip, Indiana Jones hijacked the heart of America in the summer of 1981, and our trio of 10-year-olds proved no exception. So the next summer, the three began filming a shot-for-shot remake of Raiders of the Lost Ark. Seven years later, they wrapped.

The film, making its world premiere at the Alamo Drafthouse this Friday, is nothing short of stunning. Everything is here -- the rolling boulder, the live snakes, the heart-thudding truck sequence, and everywhere flames, flames, flames. The boys made a few inventive substitutions -- a puppy dog stands in for a monkey, a boat for a plane. But even more impressive are the things they don't substitute -- a submarine, a truck on fire, a melting face, the same copy of a 1936 Life magazine used in the original. This is not "cute" or "impressive considering their age" -- it is a genuine virtuoso work.

The Forbidden Library: Banned and Challenged Books

The Forbidden Library: Banned and Challenged Books

The details listed below are excerpts taken from the 1998 Banned Books Resource Guide, Copyright 1998, by the American Library Association, and Ready Reference Censorship, Copyright 1997, Salem Press (ed. Lawrence Amey et al.). In some cases, my own pithy comments have been added.

"An idea that is not dangerous is unworthy of being called an idea at all."
--Oscar Wilde


The Almond Illusion

A very strange optical illusion. Kinda hurts my eyes after a while.

Man Accused of Hitting Woman With Gator

Man Accused of Hitting Woman With Gator

Friday, July 16, 2004

Fake Wanted Poster Spurs Lawsuit

Fake Wanted Poster Spurs Lawsuit

BANGOR, Maine - A fake wanted poster that was allegedly displayed for seven hours on the cash register of a variety store in Etna has triggered a defamation lawsuit.

Brad Graves sued Ronald Hicks last week in Penobscot County Superior Court, claiming that Hicks damaged his reputation by displaying the poster that labeled him a "terrorist."

The poster included a photograph of Graves with the words "Mohammed Abdul Graves, suspected leader of the outlaw organization Extreme Activist Terrorism Militia of Etna" or "EATME" under his picture, according to court documents. ...

Very Interesting.

I'd always heard of Bobby Fischer, but I never knew all this stuff about him, such as that he was on the run from the U.S. government.

Japan Detains Ex-Chess Champ Bobby Fischer

India Fire Kills at Least 80 Children

India Fire Kills at Least 80 Children

NEW DELHI - A short circuit ignited a thatched roof and raged through a school in southern India on Friday, killing at least 80 children and injuring more than 100. The children were trapped inside a locked building, a witness said, and blackened bodies were piled two and three deep on the floor.

More than 30 of the victims were burned to death, while the others were killed in a stampede that followed the fire, said M.B. Venkatesh, a witness who lived near the Lord Krishna Middle School in the town of Kumbakonam. He said the school's main door was locked at the time of the blaze.

Press Trust of India quoted police officers as saying many children died because their teachers told them to remain in place because the fire was being extinguished. New Delhi Television News reported that there were no teachers in some classrooms. ...

Wednesday, July 14, 2004

"I do believe the President of the U.S. just gave you boys the finger."

jiveturky: The single greatest event of my life.

I will buy this book.

New Dictionary Imagines Liberal Future

"NEW YORK - If you've never dropped the word "dubyavirus" into casual conversation, urged that an official be "ashcrofted" or commented upon "The Cheney Effect," then you haven't seen the future, at least the future according to McSweeney's.

"The ever-expanding genre of anti-Bush books has now entered the reference field. Coming in August from McSweeney's, the publishing house founded by author-activist Dave Eggers, is "The Future Dictionary of America," a Utopian tome set "sometime" beyond the present.

"Contributors include Eggers, Stephen King, Kurt Vonnegut, Jonathan Franzen, Wendy Wasserstein and more than 100 others. Proceeds will be donated to 'groups working for the public good in the 2004 election.'"

Tuesday, July 13, 2004

'Merlin' Tried for Shopping With Sword

'Merlin' Tried for Shopping With Sword - EarthLink - Strange News

"PORTSTMOUTH, England - "Merlin" appeared in court Tuesday, resplendent in his druid robes and defended by King Arthur Pendragon, but without the 3-foot sword which caused alarm in a local shop."

Man Jailed After Shooting Self in Groin

Man Jailed After Shooting Self in Groin - EarthLink - Strange News

Suitcase Yields Possible Beatles Trove

Suitcase Yields Possible Beatles Trove

" While the materials have yet to be authenticated, some experts believe the collection is the lost "Mal Evans archive," originally belonging to the Beatles' roadie and sound recordist.

"Evans was killed by police in Los Angeles in 1976 after he had brandished a fake gun. The contents of the suitcase were lost during the police investigation, The Times said."

Monday, July 12, 2004

Horrifying in its Implications

Someone just got to my site by searching for "Spongebob erotic fanfic."

That terrifies me beyond all rational thought. Luckily, THANK GOD, that search only comes up with 5 results, and none of them actually have any of that on them.

I don't even want to imagine what that would be like. Seriously.

Texas: Part Two

The trip to Texas went well, I got there in record time for some reason. I didn't speed or anything (well, just my usual 4-5 mph over the limit), but somehow I made it there in barely two and a half hours. It took me a few minutes over three hours to get back. I left Saturday after work, at about 5:00pm. The trip was uneventful, I didn't stop along the way or anything. Well, one thing happened, I thought I was going to get pulled over. There was a cop sitting in the median, and I went by at about 70 in a 65mph zone, and after I passed they pulled out of the median and drove a ways behind me for a while, then turned their lights and siren on, and sped up. I moved to the right lane to get out of their way, if they weren't coming after me, that is, and to my relief, they went past me after someone else.

I got to Chris' about 7:30pm, and we just hung around the apartment and watched some TV, then he let me run around killing things on Final Fantasy XI for a while. I didn't know what I was doing, but since his character was high level, and in an area full of weak enemies there was little chance of me messing his character up or getting it killed. It was the latest I've been up for a long time, we stayed up until after 1:00am. Then we woke up around 10:00am and later me and Chris went to Borders bookstore, and the mall. Candice stayed home to watch the kid. We went into K.B. Toys and were there for at least half an hour, because they were having this incredible sale, everything was really cheap, and he wanted to find some stuff for Kara, Candice's little girl. The kid isn't Chris, just so you know. It's Candice's from a previous marriage. She calls Chris "Ca-Ca," which I guess is some kind of combination of "Chris," and "Da-Da." It's also another word for crap, so that always makes me laugh. I think it fits Chris very well.

Chris finally found several things to buy Kara, and also bought this big pink gift bag with the Disney Princesses on it to put it all in, since Kara loves anything to do with them. So we got to walk around the mall carrying this big pink Disney princess bag. A very emasculating situation. I wasn't the one carrying it, but just two guys walking around together, one of them carrying a bag like that, doesn't look very good either. It didn't really bother me, but I kept laughing at Chris about it. Then, to make things even more awkward, we went into a Bath and Body Works, or something like that, so he could get some stuff for Candice. So now it's two guys with a pink princess bag, one of them (Chris) handing bottles of bubble bath and body lotions to the other (me) and asking, "How does this smell? Is this nice?" Most men would have run screaming in a situation like that. I'm still not sure why he was asking my opinion though. He said he couldn't smell them that well, there were too many smells in the store. Maybe he also thought I'd be good at stuff like that, though I don't know why, but apparently I am, because she really liked the one I picked out. They were having this buy three get one free sale on the stuff, and he picked out three, and was having trouble deciding on the last one, and I was like "what about that one," (it was Warm Baked Sugar scent, or something like that) "she might like that one." So then we went back to Chris' place, and everyone loved their gifts. Then we watched a DVD I brought, ten episodes of Dragonball, part one of the King Piccolo Saga. By the time that was done, it was time to head out to meet Gabe and Tycho, the Penny Arcade guys at that event, which was the whole reason for the trip.

They were going to be at Gameworks in Grapevine, Texas, which is about a half hour or so away from were Chris lives. We had a small amount of trouble finding the place, but we still got there at about 6:30pm, and they were supposed to be there from 7:00 to 11:00pm. The place turned out to be a giant arcade, instead of a comic book store, like we both thought it was supposed to be. It was a really nice place, it was two story, the bottom floor was video games, and the second floor was mostly a bar and grill, with a couple of pool tables, but it also had some of those kinds of games that give out tickets you can buy prizes with. Also, instead of using quarters or tokens, the machines all took these pre-paid credit card looking things you bought, I've never seen anything like that. The cards came in different amounts, $10, $15, $20, and over other, $30, I think. But if you paid $20, you got a card worth $25, and the $30 was worth $40 I think. Then, where the coin slot usually is on the machines, there was a slot you stuck the card in, and it sucked the card in, and showed how much was on the card, and then deducted the price of the game off of it and spit it back out. For some reason the games all cost 99 cents, instead of 50 cents or a dollar. Games are getting expensive, I remember when they cost a quarter, then they went up to 50 cents, and now lots of them are a dollar.

We asked the guys at the counter what exactly would be happening, if they had like one of the birthday party rooms set aside for it or what, and he said that no, Gabe and Tycho would just be walking around playing video games and stuff. This posed a problem, as there was no easy way to recognize them, until the crowd formed around them anyway. Chris asked me if I knew what the guys even looked like in real life. I told them I'd seen some pictures before, but I didn't remember exactly. All I remembered was that they look nothing like their comic counterparts, and that they just look like your typical really geeky guys.

We could tell we weren't the only people there to see them (of course), because after a while, guys started walking in carrying cardboard tubes. There were cardboard tubes of all sizes at the event. Some even carried toilet-paper tubes, because "that was all they could find," as I later heard one of them tell Gabe.
Me and Chris played games until almost 7:30, when one guy overheard us wondering to each other about whether they were there yet. The guy said "Yeah, they're over there near the front signing autographs right now. Or Gabe is at least, I don't know where Tycho is." So we went over there, and this skinny geek in a black t-shirt that stated "It's not my fault you suck," was surrounded by a crowd of ten people or so, most of them carrying tubes. There were even a couple of hot girls in line, amazingly. One of them was even carrying a toilet-paper roll. Gabe was autographing things with his name, and a small sketch of his comic self. Chris and I realized we had nothing to sign. I would've had him sign my shirt, but it was my new Red vs. Blue shirt. Chris said to check my wallet and see if I had a receipt that Gabe could autograph the back of. I didn't, but luckily, Chris had paid for his game card thing with a credit card, so he had two pieces or receipt from that purchase, and he gave me one. Chris got his signed first, it was pretty loud in there, I don't know what he said to Gabe or what Gabe said back. Then I went up there, and told him, "I love your comic!" and he started autographing mine, and I asked him where Tycho was. He said "I don't know, we got separated, I have no idea where he is. Probably in a bar somewhere." Afterwards I carefully folded the receipt in half, and stuck it in my wallet so it wouldn't get wrinkled up in my pocket. Then we walked around some more, and found that Tycho had just recently come in at the back of the place, and he had a huge crowd around him. Once again, we had nothing to sign, and once again, luck came to our rescue, for sitting on the machine right next to us were two discarded game cards, empty presumably, we didn't check. So we had Tycho sign the backs of these. His signature wasn't really a signature, it was just four letters, it was the way he usually end his posts to their site, his real initials, followed by his character's initials: "(CW)TB". I told Tycho, "I drove almost 200 miles to be here tonight," and he gave me this weird look. I still don't know if he was amazed that I drove that far for it, or amazed at how stupid I was for driving that far for it. He probably thought I was some kind of creepy stalker guy.

Then me and Chris played games a while longer, then we went back to his place. He and Candice both went to bed soon after that, since they both had to work early. I couldn't sleep though, because it was so fucking hot in the apartment that night. So I watched one of his DVDs, The Ring, and then finally got to sleep around 1:00am. Then I had to get up at 7:00am to leave before Candice had to leave for work (Chris had already gone to work several hours before that). So, after stopping and eating, I got home around 11:00, and now I've just been sitting here at the computer most of the day since.

And so concludes the story of my Wonderful Adventure in Texas. It also concludes the longest fucking post I've ever written. So long, in fact, that I stopped halfway through and ate a gigantic bowl of Lime Jello, almost a whole box's worth.

For more on the Cardboard Tube Samurai, click here. And also here, and be sure to click next and check out all 6 parts of "Cardboard and Steel." I love the pig.

One's the Pope. One's a chimp. They're both detectives.
"The Pope and the Chimp" coming this fall to NBC

Facts about Jack

Jack In The Box - Press Room

Strange Things are Afoot at the Anchorage Airport

Odor May Be Clue to Missing Airport Fish

Outback Mongrel Could Be Oldest Dog - EarthLink - Strange News

Outback Mongrel Could Be Oldest Dog

Friday, July 09, 2004

Texas bound

As I mentioned the other day, I'm going down to Texas for the Penny Arcade event this weekend. There is a slight change of plans, however. I'm leaving tomorrow evening, instead of Sunday morning. So as soon as I get home from work tomorrow, I have to take a shower, get my stuff together, and take my rat over to my parent's house so they can watch it for a couple of days. I'll get to Chris' by 9:00pm, hopefully a little sooner. Then I'll be there all day Sunday, which is when the event is, and then I'll be leaving around 8:00am Monday morning, because Chris and Candice both have to work.

So anyway, this means no posts for a couple of days. Boo hoo, what will you do?

I hate that that rhymed.

And how sad is it, that for at least two days now, I've been really excited about the trip because it means I will get to eat at Jack in the Box? Man, I love me some Jack in the Box. Where's my Strawberry Banana Shake, bitch?! Yeah, I thought so.

It's what's for dinner...

Ok, this is so funny I laughed like a maniac for at least five minutes.

And for those of you who don't realize it, this was a Cabin Fever movie poster, and that phrase is an anagram of "Cabin Fever."

Thursday, July 08, 2004

Flash Game

Die Wagenschenke - Das Partyzelt am Albanifest in Winterthur.

Yeah, it's in German. Click the little sign that says "Anleitung" for directions and a demonstration on how to play.

What Dragonball Z Character are You?

Dammit, I can't seem to get the picture to work now. It worked for a minute, but suddenly it's not. Anyway, I was all excited, because I got Goku! Yay, I'm Goku!

Wednesday, July 07, 2004

My Disgusting Toe and Exploding Cars

Wow, I've been posting a lot of links lately, and that's about it. I just haven't felt much like writing. I have plenty of things to write about, just haven't felt like doing it. For one, my toe is very badly infected. About six months or so ago I had to have both my big toe nails cut out because they were ingrown and starting to get infected. Well, they've finally grown back in, and are ingrown again. The right one is only a little bit ingrown, and doesn't hurt much unless I hit it or something, but the left one is really ingrown, and is very badly infected again. I almost let it go too long, the toe was looking horrible. I finally went to the doctor Tuesday, and he gave me some antibiotics for it. He doesn't know if it will have to be cut out or not, but even if it does have to be cut out, they can't do it until the infection goes down. He said that if they were to cut into it now, I'd get blood poisoning. It hurt like hell the last few days, Saturday and Sunday I was limping at work, and Monday it hurt so bad I could barely even walk at all, and they sent me home early. I was supposed to work yesterday, but I called in because of the pain, and so I could go to the doctor.

A few days ago I received a letter in the mail, saying that my car was part of a safety recall because of a possible problem that could cause the engine to explode. It was a fuel pump valve diaphragm leak, or something like that, which was a small thing that would only take a few minutes to fix, but could cause a long chain reaction of events which could lead up to the engine catching fire or exploding. The cars affected are the 1998 Buick LeSabre with a 3.8 liter V6 engine. If you have one and haven't received a letter yet, you should go get it fixed.

I'm going to Texas this weekend. I'm going to meet up with Chris and then we're going to what may be the most exciting thing that's ever happened to me (which is pretty sad, actually). The event, well, here it is straight from the source, at Penny Arcade:

Penny Arcade is coming to Texas! July 11th and 12th.

On the 11th and 12th of July, we'll be heading down to Plano, Texas - specifically, to the Guildhall at SMU. We'll be speaking at the school that Monday, how ridiculous is that, but the day before there is some public stuff that anybody can go to. And I hope you do, too - we don't get down there very much. In fact, we never do.

Here's basically how it breaks down.

On Sunday, July 11th, we'll be at the Guildhall itself from 3 to 5 for what they have termed a "meet and greet." Here is the address:

The Guildhall at SMU - SMU-in-Legacy Campus
5228 Tennyson Parkway, Bldg. 3
Plano, TX 75024

That night, between 7 and 11, we'll be heading over to the Gameworks in Grapevine. Here is the address:

Gameworks Grapevine
3000 Grapevine Mills Parkway #525
Grapevine, TX 76051

That's pretty much it.

So, yeah, I'm really excited. I hope it's not too extremely packed full of people, like I know it will be.

In other exciting news, I've met a girl online. This one is different from the other girls I usually meet online in that she actually lives in Mid-West City, a place here in Oklahoma that isn't too far from me, and also that she is 25. Most of the time some girl will IM me or something online, and I'll be like, "Hey, she seems kinda cool," and then I find out she's actually 14. That's the main reason I don't usually respond to IMs from people I don't know anymore. Actually, I didn't meet the girl, Melissa did, and then she told her about me when she found out she lived in Oklahoma, and the girl was interested in talking to me, and told Melissa to give me her email address. I don't want to talk about her too much on here yet, in case I decide to give her the link to this site. It's not like we're going out or anything yet, we've just talked a few times. I still hardly know anything about her.

Well, I think that's pretty much everything. Everything important anyway.

What is the difference between Old English Furniture Polish and Old English 800 Malt Liquor? None that I can taste.

Great Site.

I want to see this.

Pierce, Azaria to Star in 'Spamalot'

NEW YORK - Broadway will have its own Monty Python gang next year - David Hyde Pierce, Tim Curry and Hank Azaria.

The three actors will star in "Spamalot," a new musical adapted from the comedy film classic "Monty Python and the Holy Grail," it was announced Wednesday.

seanbonner: Fight Club At Staples

seanbonner: Fight Club At Staples


What villian are you?

You Are Lo Pan!!

You're the villian from Big Trouble in Little China. You're awesome because you can stomp some serious ass, and roam the world in spirit form, ruining everyone's sh*t. Oh man, you rule all.

Personality Test Results

Click Here to Take This Quiz
Brought to you by quizzes and personality tests.

What's real and what's phony?

Dartmouth News - Investigating digital images - 07/01/04

"Seeing is no longer believing. Actually, what you see is largely irrelevant," says Dartmouth Professor Hany Farid. He is referring to the digital images that appear everywhere: in newspapers, on Web sites, in advertising, and in business materials, for example.

Farid and Dartmouth graduate student Alin Popescu have developed a mathematical technique to tell the difference between a "real" image and one that's been fiddled with. Consider a photo of two competing CEOs talking over a document labeled "confidential - merger," or a photo of Saddam Hussein shaking hands with Osama bin Laden. The Dartmouth algorithm, presented recently at the 6th International Workshop on Information Hiding, in Toronto, Canada, can determine if someone has manipulated the photos, like blending two photos into one, or adding or taking away objects or people in an image.


Rock Paper Saddam

This is hilarious. If I wasn't poor now I'd buy one of the t-shirts.

Disease Trading Cards

CDC - GHO - Kids' Page - Disease Cards

I like that this are on the "kids page."

Dick Cheney's new Clothing Line (Not really)

"Go fuck yourself" - Vice President, Dick Cheney | CafePress

Michael Moore has a blog now

Michael : Mike's Message : Blog

Just like that old Dewey defeats Truman thing.

N.Y. Post Mocks Its Gephardt Gaffe

Monday, July 05, 2004

World's Longest Concert Adds Two Notes

World's Longest Concert Adds Two Notes

*Burp* Anyone got a Tums?

Town Grills 48-Foot Bratwurst

Sunday, July 04, 2004

The Gods Must be Horny

Women Reportedly Plowing Naked

"KATMANDU, Nepal - Female rice farmers are plowing their fields at night in the nude to please the rain god during a dry spell in southwestern Nepal, a news report said Sunday...

"...Weather forecasters in the capital Katmandu - 310 miles northeast of Baijapur village, where the naked farmers are appealing for rain - said the situation is expected to improve in the next few days."

Saturday, July 03, 2004

Anyone know German?

Here's a reference to my page I found on some German blog, I can only make out a couple of words of it.

The site is here.
leu Feb 03, 03 | 6:32 am
soeben grad gefunden:

bin ja nicht der einzige der da weiterdenkt...


When I counted up my demons
Saw there was one for every day
With the good ones on my shoulders
I drove the other ones away

So if you ever feel neglected
If you think that all is lost
I'll be counting up my demons, yeah
Hoping everything's not lost

When you thought it was over
You could feel it all around
Everybody's out to get you
Don't you let it drag you down

Cos if you ever feel neglected
If you think that all is lost
I'll be counting all the demons, yeah
Hoping everything's not lost

If you ever feel neglected
If you think all is lost
I'll be counting up my demons, yeah
Hoping everything's not lost

Singing out o yeah [x3]

Everything's not lost,
Come on yeah, o yeah, come on yeah,
Everything's not lost,
O yeah, [x3]
Everything's not lost,
Come on yeah, o yeah,
Come on yeah [x2]
O yeah, Come on yeah,
Everything's not lost, Sing out yeah,
Come on yeah [x2]
Everything's not lost,
Come on yeah, o yeah,
Sing out yeah,
Everything's not lost.

Friday, July 02, 2004

It took me a few minutes to figure this one out.

bo logh

If I'm right, this blog is written in Klingon.

I about died laughing...

m15m: Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban in Fifteen Minutes

Ronald McDonald takes it up the butt.

Me and Melissa were just talking in an IM, and we had the following conversation. I think this is probably the sickest thing I've ever said. Out loud and to other people, anyway.

subspecies23: HAMBURGLAR!
subspecies23: The Hamburglar just broke in and stole all my hamburgers!
missy_custer: YAYYY then CUT THE CHEESEEEE
subspecies23: uhhh, lol
subspecies23: that makes no sense
missy_custer: slap him around with a little bit of lettuce, squirt mayonnaise on him
subspecies23: no way, he likes that
missy_custer: hmmmmm then GRIND him
subspecies23: he likes hamburgers so much that his sexual fetish is to be treated like a hamburger
missy_custer: ewwwwwwwwwww
subspecies23: he crawls in a giant hamburger bun and says "oh baby, squirt me with your special sauce."
subspecies23: lmao
subspecies23: what, was it so sick you're not talking to me now? lol

[several minute pause]

missy_custer: nah, got coffee lol

Library Clock Has 'IIII' Instead of 'IV'

Library Clock Has 'IIII' Instead of 'IV'

It says this is pretty common actually, I've never noticed it before, I'll have to start checking all the clocks I see now.

No dirty jokes...

Town Boasts World's Largest Bratwurst

Colin Powell Sings Village People Song

Colin Powell Sings Village People Song

"JAKARTA, Indonesia - U.S. Secretary of State Colin Powell donned a hard hat and tucked a hammer in his belt Friday to perform a version of the Village People's hit "YMCA" at the conclusion of Asia's largest security meeting - which tradition says ends with a night of skit and song."

Holy Shit...

Marlon Brando died

Thursday, July 01, 2004

Yahoo! News - Coffin Show: Going Out in Style

Coffin Show: Going Out in Style

The Writings on the Stall

The Writings on the Stall A repository of writing found on restroom walls. Very funny.

Celebrating 3000 years of Cat Mustaches

Celebrating 3000 years of Cat Mustaches

Album covers that copy old album covers

Demonfuzz Records

Human Beans: PowerPizza

Human Beans: PowerPizza

Blind Man Banned From Saying Phlegm

Blind Man Banned From Saying Phlegm (from Surrey Comet) And groping women. At the same time.

D O G T O Y :or: M A R I T A L A I D - You decide.

D O G T O Y :or: M A R I T A L A I D - You decide.

Pretty hard actually. I played the warm-up round and got 11 out of 14 right. I don't know if I even want to try the difficult round.

Update: I played the difficult round, and the "from users" round, and actually scored better on them than in the warm-up round. I got 13 out of 14 correct in both of them.

Beastie Boys Triple Trouble Game

Beastie Boys "Help the Beastie Boys get across the road safely to the political protest rally. Look out! The tyranny of the Bush Regime won't make it easy!"

Word is made flesh as God reveals himself... as a fish

The Observer | International | Word is made flesh as God reveals himself... as a fish

Apparently this story's been making the rounds for some time, but I just now heard about it for the first time.

Signs & Miracles of Allah

Signs & Miracles of Allah

Bill Clinton's Blog?

Bill Clinton Book My Life

Is it really Bill Clinton's blog or not? There's some debate, but who knows? From what I've read of it, I'd say it probably is, if not it's a very good fake. But why is it pink?



An examination of the Bush military files within the context of US Statutory Law, Department of Defense regulations, and Air Force policies and procedures of that era lead to a single conclusion: George W. Bush was considered a deserter by the United States Air Force."

Evil teacher writes graffiti about pupil who spurned him

Evil teacher writes graffiti about pupil who spurned him

The Onion | Reagan Pyramid Nears Completion

The Onion | Reagan Pyramid Nears Completion


Wow, what happened? I've had 209 hits in the last week alone, averaging 30 a day. I checked the referrals, and while there is an increase in the number of "unknowns." All but two or three of the rest were still the results of the usual searches. "Strange things are afoot at the Circle K," or some variant, or other phrases involving "strange things." The rest are still Chumbawamba lyric searches. I figured I'd get some hits from people searching for those "Lake of fire" song lyrics, but so far I haven't. Only two of the last 100 hits (which is as far back as the records go) came from other websites that link to me.