Strange Things are Afoot at the Circle K.

Saturday, June 19, 2004

I found this to be very funny. From Blogging Like I've Never Blogged Before.

"Mayor Bloomie is trying to toughen the city's noise code in an effort to improve the quality of life around the city.

I am all for this. The problem is that these kinds of things may be tough to enforce. You might have to give the public some rules that they can follow and actually help enforce these laws. So I have some suggestions to help out this fine city.

I think that whenever you see and hear a cab driver (or any driver for that matter) honk their horn as soon as the light turns green, you may punch them square in the face.

That's really all I've got right now. I'll think of more. Oh. All dogs that bark after 10 PM will be confiscated and replaced with goldfish. And the signs that say 'No Honking. $xxx Fine.' They should be replaced with signs that say, 'Please shut the fuck up.' Boomboxes being carried through the streets blaring music will be confiscated and replaced with a sackful of feathers. Anyone who talks on a cell phone loudly in a quiet restaurant will have their phones confiscated and replaced with a bag of cotton candy. Anyone who, on the subway or bus, plays a game on their cell phone, a Game Boy, etc. without turning the sound off, will have the item confiscated and replaced with a monkey (who is also mute) that will only be trained to punch you in the groin. People who are loud and drunk on any night from Monday through Wednesday will be confiscated and replaced with goldfish.

I guess that's all I can think of. But it's a start."