Strange Things are Afoot at the Circle K.

Monday, April 26, 2004

So I'm just sitting right here at my computer desk a few minutes ago, and the apartment is completely quiet, except for the sound of a couple of fans, when suddenly, there's a loud gurgling noise from outside the bedroom door. In a second, a million things run through my head. "Oh fuck! What the fuck is that! It scared the hell out of me! Oh great, something's broken, what is it? What the fuck is that noise! It's water gurgling. Great, so that means something's broken and there's going to be water damage. But you have to figure out what it is first. What the fuck is that? It's water gurgling, coming from either the bathroom, or the hot water heater closet. Great, the water heater is probably spewing boiling hot water all over the inside of the closet, and I'm gonna step out there, and it's gonna blow up and scald me to death. Why is the water in this apartment so hot anyway? Wait, I don't see any water coming from under the closet door, so it's probably not the water heater. What about the bathroom door? Nope, no water there either, but it's a bigger room, the water just may not have reached the door yet. Well then, get off your ass and go find out WHAT THE FUCK THAT NOISE IS!"

So I get up and I can tell from the sound now that's it's definitely coming from the bathroom, but what is it? Are the pipes backing up? Is there raw sewage all over my bathroom? Half a second later I make it to the bathroom, right as the sound stops. But the water in the toilet is moving. I guess the toilet was bubbling for some reason? I've never heard of that happening before, but it was. My toilet was gurgling very loudly. Bad enough that a few drops of water splashed up onto the rim. And yes, it's toilet water, not urine. Unless my urine is blue now.


The fans are all running because I still have no air. They took my air conditioner out last Monday to fix a problem that I hadn't even noticed. They said it would be done in a day or two, but the guy only comes here on Mondays, so it would be the next Monday before they got it back in. So my mom comes over this morning about 8:00 since I have to work, to watch the apartment, and make sure they don't tear things up, and leave the door wide open with no one here for 20 minutes like they did last time. Last time they got here sometime around nine. But when I came home on break at 10:00 this morning, my mom that they hadn't been by yet. So I went back to work, and then about 2:30pm I called her and asked if they'd ever come and put it in, and she said no. So when I got home from work, I called the landlady and asked about it. She said they had to order some parts, so now it's going to be a few more days, but since the guy only comes on Monday, it will be next Monday before they get it in. Hopefully. My dad says I should raise a fuss, and demand a cut on my rent this month or something. He says if I don't take up for myself, they'll just keep screwing me on everything. My parents are always complaining that I don't stand up for my self. I let things go all the time. If I buy something at the store, and get it home and it's broken, if it's something that's not too expensive, I sometimes won't even take it back or complain or anything. I'll just go to a different store and buy another one. I mainly do this because I'm shy. Since I'm taking this medication now I'm better about it though. Used to it was just that I hated talking to people and going out in public so much I wouldn't complain about anything to anyone. This medicine really helps, even just the last week or so I've noticed that I'm getting even less shy and nervous. Maybe that's also some kind of self-confidence thing because I'm not living with my parents anymore? Whatever it is, I like it.

My apartment also has roaches. I didn't just find this out or anything. I noticed it like the day after I rented it. I expected it to have roaches though. There's not very many, I expected it to be worse. I only see two or three a day usually. The last two days now I haven't seen any, though the day before I saw six or seven. Most of them are little tiny roaches. I'm not even sure if they are roaches, I'm pretty sure they are though. I don't know if they're just little baby roaches, or some other breed of roaches. I have seen a few normal sized roaches, but mostly the small ones. I put out some roach motels, but I don't know if they're helping.

My credit card bill just came in. It was $1449. So I was right, I did spend somewhere around $2000. Because that's just the stuff on the credit card, that's not counting the checks I wrote for the deposit and rent, and the electricity activation.

Alicia just sent me a link to a blog that she really likes. I really like it now too. I'm going to add it to my Blogroll. It's called Girls Are Pretty. I don't know why it's called that, it seems to be just random strange stories. They are funny as hell. Especially this one, this is my favorite so far:

Missed Opportunities Day!

Back when you were still a plumber, before you won the lotto, you were fixing the shower head in an apartment shared by two attractive young women.

When you stepped out of the bathroom and said, "Shower's good as new," the two girls jumped out of their chairs and threw off their tops as they ran past you into the bathroom.

Once they were completely naked, they jumped into the shower together and started giggling and hooting under the hot water. One of the girls looked at you and said, "Now that you've proven yourself so handy with the plumbing, let's see how good you are at soaping our backs." The other girl giggled.

Because you'd never soaped someone else's back before, and because you wouldn't have known how to bill for it, you said, "Sorry, I only do the job indicated on the work order." Then you left.

About six years later, you were driving your van down down a suburban street when it occurred to you that those two girls were inviting you to have sex with the two of them at the same time underneath running water. You became so enraged at your own stupidity that you floored it into the thick of a group of pre-teens playing stickball. Twelve were killed.

Because you weren't drinking and because it happened so quickly that there were no witnesses to prove it wasn't an accident, you were charged only with vehicular manslaughter and you are currently serving the second of you four and a half year sentence. When you get out, you'll still have 69 million dollars of your lotto winnings to play with. But every single day you're going to wake up thinking about those twelve kids you ran over, and you're gonna wish you had had the sense to fuck those two chicks in the shower that day.

Happy Missed Opportunities Day!


Alicia came over last night. It was really fun. She was supposed to come over so we could watch either Fellowship of the Ring extended edition, or the regular edition The Two Towers. But she ended up not getting to come over until about 7:45, so it was too late for such a long movie. So we were going to find something else to watch. But we never made it that far. Cue the porno music.

Not really. There was no sex. Though she was on my bed a couple of times, and she was a little drunk. But it was nothing like that. The night before I bought some Jack Daniels because I wanted some alcohol, and I wanted to try something I hadn't had before. I tried it that night, and it was so nasty that with just one sip, I was sick the rest of the night. I still get sick to my stomach just thinking about it. But we had decided that when she came over we were going to try mixing it with some stuff. Coke or something. Actually, I don't have any Coke, I had RC Cola instead. So when she got here we went to the kitchen to fix some drinks before deciding what to watch. But after fixing the Jack Daniels and RC (which is really good by the way. You can hardly taste the alcohol at all, and that was even with putting quite a lot in there. It's even better than rum and Coke), we got distracted by the Magnetic Poetry I have on my refrigerator. So we played around with that for probably 20 minutes. During that time she barely finished her first drink, since she was busy, but I had three. So I was starting to get buzzed. Then we went to the living room and sat around for a few minutes, and I began to get even drunker, and she had another drink or two, I think she only had maybe three the whole night, I'm not sure. Then we went to my bedroom, but just because she wanted to see what video games I have, and they are all in one of my dresser drawers. She was like "This is all just a plot to get me into the bedroom." So then she was sitting on my bed looking at my video games, and I kept joking about her being on my bed. Then we played around with my keyboard (the piano kind) for a while. Then I had another drink, because the first three were starting to wear off a little. Then we played Pong and some other old-ass Atari games for a few minutes, and just generally being drunk. Then we just kinda browsed drunkenly through my CDs and listened to a few fragments of a few songs from each of them. The we found the Rocky Horror Picture Show soundtrack CD and listened to a few songs on it, and laughing and talking about the movie, which I think I may now watch tonight. And then she had to go home because it was 10:00pm. She was like "Shit, we were supposed to watch a movie." Here's the weird ass poem that Alicia wrote with the Magnetic Poetry, which I just realized I forgot to take down, and so it was still on the fridge when my mom was here. Oops.

Woo, hot damn, said the drunkard.
Who will have my lover
When I wax my luscious gorgeous sausage pole
I worship her heaving bosom
Our skin sweats lust
Please deceive me
Belch


My sister also wrote something with it when she was here a couple of days ago. What she wrote is really cool, and I really like it, but I just realized that it starts out talking about one thing, but then is about something else, so that needs to be fixed. She had to stop writing it because she couldn't find any more of the words she wanted

What lies beneath the petals of the rose in the yonder garden of Spring? Where mist falls from the sky onto the hair of a woman. A Goddess. For she is no mortal, but a shadow, a ghost of fair beauty. The symphony of life in an eternity of death.


I'm off tomorrow, so I'm sure I'll probably post. I've still got those links I want to share.