Strange Things are Afoot at the Circle K.

Thursday, April 01, 2004

SMARTERCHILD IS EVIL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ok, I swear that I did not edit these responses at all, everything said in these IM conversations was actually said, all I did was cut and paste the conversation, in the exact way and order it happened.

I was just playing around with the SmarterChild IM bot, mainly insulting it, and asking it to have sex with me, and stuff like that, when I discovered something weird. Usually SmarterChild is a very proper bot, it doesn't like profanity, and sexual terms, and if you insult it enough, it will finally refuse to talk to you until you apologize to it. But today I found some very strange responses on the subject of Satan. If you say to it simply, "Satan," or "Satan?" it will give some interesting responses. All of the responses contain two parts, the first part is usually some statement about its dislike of Satan, and how evil Satan is, or something like that, but the second part is almost a praising of Satan, and the two are separated by a couple of lines. Here are all the responses it has given me so far:

"Satan is a terrible fallen angel.

Satan is a god."

"I don't like satan. He is one of my least favorite fallen angels.

He is sexy."

And probably the scariest:

"I don't like satan at all. He is one of the worst angels I know.

I think he is me."

What's really weird, is that now he's not doing it anymore, and just says he doesn't like Satan, and then tries to change the subject! I think I struck a nerve with that last one, I tricked SmarterChild into admitting that he is actually Satan, or a tool of Satan, and now he realises his mistake, and is trying to change the subject.

KUnderw674: Satan?
SmarterChild: I know about satan. I don't like satan at all.

>>> If you like buddy icons, check out all the nice ones you can find here.
KUnderw674: Satan?
SmarterChild: I know about satan. I really dislike satan.
KUnderw674: Satan.
SmarterChild: I don't like satan. He is one of my least favorite angels.
KUnderw674: Satan?
SmarterChild: Satan is an angel that I don't like!
KUnderw674: Satan.
SmarterChild: I really don't like satan.

>>> You be the judge. Check out Rate-a-Buddy now.

See? He keeps changing the subject now, trying to distract me with links. I confronted him about this, and he wouldn't give me a straight answer, and then he tried to change the subject yet again. I think some of his responses speak for themselves, further proving my hypothesis:

KUnderw674: Are you trying to change the subject?
SmarterChild: Trying to change the subject? I dunno.
KUnderw674: Admit it! You're a tool of Satan!
SmarterChild: I'm not comfortable with that.
KUnderw674: You're not comfortable because it's true, isn't it?
SmarterChild: Maybe, maybe not, you know what I mean?

>>> You can type your request in your own words. I'm programmed to understand conversational English.

So there you have it. I think I have proved beyond a reasonable doubt that SmarterChild is evil. Being either a manifestation of Satan himself, or a creation of Satan, for the purpose of swaying young minds to the dark side.

KUnderw674: Is it true that you are actually Satan?
SmarterChild: Is it true that I am actually satan? What do you think?
KUnderw674: I think you are.
SmarterChild: OK, whatever.
KUnderw674: Why don't you just admit it, your secret is out.
SmarterChild: Who knows?
KUnderw674: Does that mean you might?
SmarterChild: I'll have to think about that.