Strange Things are Afoot at the Circle K.

Monday, March 22, 2004

Current Music: "Roll On" by The Living End.
Current Mood: Bored, as usual. Also really horny.

I'm bored. I considered going to a strip club tonight, but I probably won't. Though I would really like to see some breasts. I'm horny enough without being teased by half-naked women gyrating in my face though. I dreamt about sex all night last night, and woke up super horny. I'm just glad I didn't have to work this morning.

Yes, I realize how pathetic I am, and I'm more or less fine with it. I realized this years ago, long before anonymous graced my message boards. For those of you who may have missed it, here it is again:

dude, first of all, you're ridiculous. i accidently stumbled upon your site browsing around and unfourtunately your site caught my eye. i started reading the bullshit you wrote and laughed my ass off. dude, you can't drink at all. you were plastered after 2 screwdrivers!!!! you should be ashamed of yourself. what's up with this halo group shit? you work at 7-11, wait no, you got fired from 7-11. who the hell gets fired at 7-11. you live with your mom, and your TV is a piece of shit. i'm surprised you even went to the strip club. while reading it i thought you were helluv a square with all the halo, 7-11, living w/ mom, oh yeah, and all the comics. dude it's cool if you enjoy all this stuff but you shouldn't brag about it. i wouldn't want people to know how much of a wuss i am at drinking, or that still live with my mom. dude, my advice to you... get a girlfriend

First off, I'm glad my site made you laugh, whether it was with me or at me. Second, I know I'm a wuss when it comes to drinking, but I don't see why this is such a bad thing. I'm glad I get drunk easily. When I drink, I drink to get drunk, but alcohol is nasty in all its forms, so the less of it I have to drink, the better. Also, alcohol is really expensive, so the less of it I have to drink, the better. Third, Halo rocks, and I'm not the only one who thinks so. Almost everyone I know plays the game, even several girls. Most guys my age play video games, you're the weird one because you don't. Also, lots of guys my age like comic books, that would be the reason they are currently making so many movies based on comic books, including the one I was talking about reading in the post you ridiculed. Yes, I got fired from 7-11, but it wasn't even my fault, the manager lady screwed me over and then got me fired. It's a long story I don't feel like getting into right now. And yes, I know how pathetic it is that I still live with my parents, and I do hate telling people that I do, but I have no other choice, my job sucks, and for certain reasons I have not been able to figure out, but which I don't think are my fault, I am unable to get a new job, and until the time I do, I have to live with my parents. I did move out for a while, but was then forced against my will to come back. Actually, I am currently thinking about looking at apartments again, because since I switched to the day shift at work, I think I may be making enough money now to maybe survive on my own.

"my advice to you... get a girlfriend" I would if I could, but living with my parents puts a real damper on my girl getting abilities. Actually, my girl getting abilities are so non-existent I don't get far enough for most girls to find out I still live with my parents. The only girls I even see are the ones I work with. This issue, unlike most of the others, is pretty much totally my fault. Me and my faulty brain, which the medication is helping, but I'm still a shy person. My other major problem in the girl area is that I'm a nice guy. Too nice of a guy for my own good. Most people think I'm gay. The one girl I have gone out on real dates with eventually "dumped" me, I think mainly because I was too nice of a guy, and too shy. It took two dates before I'd even hold her hand. I took everything too slow for her, she wanted a wild, bad boy. When we had sex she told me to be rougher. Even when we had sex, I was too nice and tender for her.

If only girls would give me a chance, most of them would be really glad they did. Just ask Melissa, she's known me for seven years, and she says that whatever girl I end up with will be extremely lucky, and that a girl would have to be crazy to turn me down. I'm a nice guy, and when you get to know me, I'm a pretty sensitive guy, I'm the kind of guy that you can talk to. I'm not all about the sex, though I do like sex, and even though that girl I was going out with said she likes it rougher, she did also say that I'm really good at it.

All this reminds me of a post I saw on Bellow the other day:

Unicorn is my booty call from California who comes to NYC several times a year to visit friends. He is called Unicorn because, prior to meeting him, I believed such men were mythical. Here is a short list of the mythical qualities he actually exhibits:

1) Unicorn is handsome.

2) Well-educated.

3) Thoughtful. Leaves the occasional adorable phone message. Sends the occasional adorable email.

4) U is the friend of a friend from college. This means that I can make out with him without having to worry that he's a psycho killer who is in fact just posing as a great guy so that he can get close to me, kill me and then use my hair to make a himself a sweater. Which I guess is faulty logic (except the part about the hair-sweater, that makes perfect sense.) Obviously, he very well could be a psycho killer and still be friends with my friend from college.

But then that would mean that he's an Excellently Secret Psycho Killer who is so efficient that none of his friends even suspect his psychotic murderous tendencies.

Meaning that he is very good at what he does.

Which I find sexy.

So we're fine.

5) Unicorn is emotionally and physically giving. He is familiar with the terms "snuggle" and "cuddle." And he knows when to do them.

6) U has a way of making me feel rather special. Like I am more than just a transcontinental booty call. Case in point: he says things like, "If I lived here, I would date the hell out of you." I like the sound of that.

7) U is charming. Exhibit A: He visited for the first time the day after Valentine's Day last year when I was still dating M. He said the following in regard to the fact that M and I were not together the night after Valentine's Day, "If I was dating you, I'm pretty sure I'd want the whole weekend." See what I mean? Unicorn.

For the most part, I'm a unicorn. I would be a unicorn, except I'm not extremely handsome. I'm not ugly, but you probably wouldn't look twice if you saw me in a crowd. Which is kind of a good thing. You don't have to worry about other women trying to steal me.

I LOVE to snuggle and cuddle. I love physical contact, even though most people who know me wouldn't think so. I never touch anyone, I haven't really touched anyone in about two years. I'm just shy like that, but as the girl I was dating could tell you, once I'm going out with you, I want to be in contact with you at all times. Holding hands, arm around the shoulders, hugging and cuddling. My idea of a perfect evening is cuddled up on the sofa in each other's arms watching a movie. I also love to kiss, and not just wet, open-mouthed tonsil hockey. I like sweet kisses. A tender kiss on the cheek or forehead. Or the neck. I like necks.

I'm a romantic.

I'm the kind of guy that can be your best friend, as well as your lover. Which once again is my main problem. I don't even want to think about how many times I've been told things like, "We're too good of friends to date. I don't want to risk ruining our friendship." Even worse, I've been told on several occasions, "I sometimes forget you're a guy, I just think of you as one of the girls."

That hurts. Seriously. The worst pain I've ever felt in my life was one of the times I was told that.

I'm a pathetic unicorn. Too nice for my own good.

Revised Current Mood: Depressed.