Strange Things are Afoot at the Circle K.

Wednesday, February 04, 2004

Lance Arthur writes:

Janet Jackson's tits are real. I would have said that this was all a publicity stunt and it was meant to happen, because how could Justin "accidentally" tear off her breast cover? He reached right over, and she let him, and he grabbed it and pulled and look, nipple! And, better even than that, nipple hardware! And then he's all "sorry about the wardrobe malfunction, yo," and MTV is all, "well, (shrug), we didn't know that was going to happen," and CBS is all "hey, they did it! not us. it was them" and shit and whatever and like, okay, so let's throw a hissy fit. And then America is all, "Hey, boob!" and the FCC Chairman is all "I am highly offended and deeply aroused," and Janet's all, "I have a new album coming out and my new single drops on Monday and how can I get some free publicity?" and I'm all, "Wait, what? Was that a... that was her... am I in fucking France or something?"

Sure it's a tit, but it's a celebrity tit! On the most widely-watched spectacle on TV! In Prime Time! And it's a Jackson! So, that's all important to remember. And also: So, what was supposed to happen? Justin was going to reach over and grab her breast cover and pull and it reveals a diorama in support of our troops in Iraq as he sings "you're gonna be all nekkid and shit when I do this, yo," (I think he says "yo" all the time) and her chest heaves and cannons fire and skywrite 'marriage should be between a man and a woman's right breast' and she goes on to sing another fucking medley of her hits from two years ago?