Strange Things are Afoot at the Circle K.

Sunday, January 18, 2004

Man, this is the stupidest thing I've seen in a long time. It really reminds me of why I hate rabid Christians so much. It's the ChildCare Action Project site. Christian movie reviews, they review movies and list what's wrong with them from a Christian viewpoint. The people who insist Harry Potter is evil because it has magic. Check out their review of Lord of the Rings: Return of the King, according to them it's like one of the worst movies ever made because of all the magic and imaginary creatures. Also, talking trees are an offense to God. So is Gollum, partly because he doesn't wear enough clothes, partly because he was granted extreme long life by the ring. The whole article can be read here.

Here's their quick list of offenses of LOTR: ROTK.

Wanton Violence/Crime (W)
# action violence, repeatedly, some graphic
# lust for possession, including to kill, repeatedly
# planning killing
# arrow killing, graphic
# long battle violence/gore, quite frequent
# beatings, with and without tools/weapons
# graphic arrow impalements
# use of severed heads as throwing weapons
# graphic crushing deaths, frequent
# great falls with impacts seen
# decayed and encapsulated bodies and body parts
# graphic attack by larger-than-actor spider, repeatedly
# attempted murder, repeatedly
# fighting, repeatedly
# impalement by huge spider
# human incineration
# attempted ritual suicide/murder by fire
# close-ups of death and dying
# pointing finger bitten off
# perils of danger from risk of great fall
# fall into lava

Impudence/Hate (I)
# spreading dissent among friends, allies
# lying
# framing of guilt by deceit
# deceit with intent t kill

Sexual Immorality (S)
# sparse dress on male character, repeatedly
# excessive cleavage
# open face kiss

Drugs/Alcohol (D):
# smoking
# drinking
# drunkenness

Offense to God (O)
# unholy transformation by evil power
# talking trees
# unholy healing
# evil control
# unholy possession
# threat by wizardry/sorcery
# prophesying
# tale of sorcery
# evil beasts/demons, repeatedly
# enlisting tens of thousands of "walking dead" to do good by assisting the "good guys" in battle
# frequent and repeated graphic views of many unholy creatures (Orcs) many times in close-up
# use of evil (sorcery/witchcraft/wizardry) to do good by assisting the "good guys" in battle
# grant of immortality
# seeking evil for help in battle
# control of humans with a curse
# demon beast attacks, some quite graphic and with many deaths
# light by sorcery, twice
# transporting people by unholy magic
# attempted ritual suicide/murder
# walking dead walking on water
# many instances of using evil for good
# seeing the non-seeable by wizardry
# images of supreme evil

Murder/Suicide (M)
# murder to possess object
# brutal murder of battle-injured man with impalement shown


Man, these people are idiots. It makes my head hurt. They also have a review of the South Park movie, which is quite funny. According to them, an adult male midget in a women's bikini is an offense to God. I guess because it's cross-dressing and he's not wearing enough clothes.