This is hilarious. From Rebecca's Blog.
Tim and Greta were true lovers. Soulmates, even. They spent hours in bed together curled up into a ball of heat and love, shifting and moving as if they were one. Tim would spend hours licking Greta in her favorite erogenous zones and soothing down her nappy brown hair with such tenderness. Greta often stroked Tim until he reached the point of release and then stop, because she was a big tease. Tim was a masochist so he didn't mind. Sometimes he would go for runs that lasted hours and collapse into Greta's arms exhausted and she would kiss his sweaty forehead until he fell asleep.
After one orgiastic and lustful love making session in the wee hours of the morning, Greta found herself pregnant. Damn, she thought, as the changes began inside her body, cursing out Tim for not using protection or pulling out like they had planned. Several months later Greta gave birth to seven babies, all pink and lovely and perfect. And then she ate them all, one by one. Tim watched with disgust and wrinkled up his fuzzy face and wished that this glass wall would crumble away so he could be a free Guinea pig once and for all, for his love for Greta was dashed forever.