This is funny, from Rebecca. I like her blog, it's funny, and sometimes has lesbian stories. She's funny, you should go check it out.
While driving to work this morning I had another fantasy about what I should be doing with my life, only this time it doesn't involve driving a cab or such nonsense. This is a good one. Seriously. Okay, let's say Im walking down the street, right? And then some recruiter from some super secret spy agency comes over and says "You. You are the one." Yeah, me. So okay, I hear the shizzle about the plan Stan and it's all about me being a spy in Europe and shit, right? Shut up, this could happen. I look very European, particularly French, I could totally pass as a local over there, and actually have, except my four years of high school French didn't help much with my sentences or anything, but Im getting to that. So, spy dude takes me under his wing and I am sequestered for a year, learning fluent French, Spanish, Italian, and whatnot, and also I get schooled in some kick ass martial arts and get this rock hard body, instead of my bony somewhat muscular present body, and voila! A spy. With cool weapons strapped to my upper thighs with garter belts. And I'd wear a lot of black clothes and look tres chic, non? Oui. And then I would be all charming with the bad people and have to kick their asses and stuff when they found me out. Yeah. Hmm, thinking about this now, it sounds so familiar, like it's a movie or a tv show. Do you think? Huh. Sounded cool, anyway. Maybe I could just get a motorcycle and a broken in leather jacket and slick my hair back and wear white t-shirts all the time and live over Mr. and Mrs. C's garage and date lots of chicks. That would be cool, too. Or maybe I could be the tiny sidekick to Retardo Montleban on some funky island where fantasies come true and wear a little white outfit all the time, only mine would have lots of stains on it. Or maybe I could live on a street where puppets talk and shit. That would scare the fuck out of me. Fucking talking puppets? Shit, Im scaring myself right now. Nah, spy that's what I should be.
I also thought this was really funny, also from her page.
Mmm coffee from five hours ago. Tasty like a rock, like a rock of ages.