Strange Things are Afoot at the Circle K.

Tuesday, September 23, 2003

It's Teletubby time! Wait, no it's not! Damn those Teletubbies! Always coming in here and trying to take over! They're just jealous! Yeah, that's right, the Teletubbies are jealous of my blog! Especially that bastard Laa-Laa! He's always after me frosted Lucky Charms! He wants their frosted goodness all for himself! But I says Fuck You! Fuck you Laa-Laa! Fuck you, Tinky-Winky! Fuck you Dipsy! And especially you, Po, FUCK YOU! And don't think I forgot you, Noo Noo, you fucking Vacuum Cleaner, you suck! Get it? Vacuum? Suck? HHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I know what you and Tinky-Winky do together late at night, Noo Noo. I heard that nozzle of yours can be used for sucking more than dirt and dust and Tubby Toast crumbs. You disgust me! You and all your evil friends! And then there's that fucking baby head floating in the sky! What the hell is up with that! That scares the shit out of me! You call yourself a children's show? You're traumatizing our children you sick, disgusting, perverted, evil, Satan worshipping, bong smoking, turd-burgling, ass fondling, toad licking, weasel shaving, porcupine gargling, stick sniffing, chihuahua fondling, beach blanket bingo playing, lizard lifting, N*Sync listening, poodle popping, Richard Simmons look-a-like dating, child molesting, Godzilla stomping, demon summoning, snuff porn making, oatmeal stuffing, fart eating, ass reaming, buffalo frenching, gnome fondling, anal jogging, frog flogging, Rhino tossing, chicken fishing, fecal surfing, unbalanced checkbook having, slug smuggling, banana cramming, crotch hopping, ass whistling, Goat smoking, snot whipping, pickle tickling, Pope squeezing, nugget brandishing, Love Boating, nun polishing, list making, butt snuffling BASTARDS! And stay away from my goddamn Lucky Charms!

And, no, I'm not on drugs. But perhaps I should be.

The other night I was watching one of the old 1970's Saturday Night Live episodes, which were 1000 times funnier than the new show, and they were doing a spoof of the movie Omen in which John Belushi was a rather large Damien. It was one of the funniest things I've ever seen. First the nanny hung herself she was so afraid of Damien, then a new nanny showed up who had fangs, and a stuffed dead dog named Stuffy. The Dead nanny hung there the rest of the time, while the evil fanged nanny gave Damien dog treats to calm him. The funniest part though came when Damien's father told Damien's mother "I'm going with the priest, you stay here with dead nanny, live nanny, Stuffy the Devil Dog and Big Satan Baby or whatever his name is..."

Another funny quote: Today I was talking to Melissa and she was talking about a girl who according to Melissa, "has this huge gap in between her teeth that you could fit a squirrel in."

And now I'm going to bed, because it's 1:00.