FUCK! I'd been working on this post for over two hours, and then my browser fucked up and quit, and I lost my post and the 6 other windows I had open to various websites that I was researching to create this post! Now I'm going to have to do it all over again! Ok, here we go. There's lots of links and stories tonight.
Last night at work we were really slow. Until about 8:30, that is, when about 30 people suddenly came in. They had all been to some game or something. All the people were standing around in the lobby, waiting in line to have their orders taken, and I got an order in drive-thru for a cup of coffee. The coffee pot is also in the lobby, so I had to go out and make my way through all the people to get to it. As I was walking by this teenage girl, this boy, probably about 14 or so, who was also walking by her on the other side, hit her on the ass with his empty cup. You know that trick where you tap someone on the shoulder, but you tap the other shoulder, so they look the wrong way? He did something like that, he was on her right side, but he hit her left ass cheek, so she looked to the left, where I was, with a coffee cup. I thought I was gonna get slapped or something, but she didn't say or do anything. She just looked at me for a second. I don't know if she figured out what happened, or what.
I was downloading some internet porn last night, and when I played one of the little videos, I found that the girl featured in the video looks exactly like my cousin. It looks so much like her it could be her, when she speaks it even sounds kind of like her. I hope it isn't her, that would be gross. I deleted the video just to be safe.
Here's a poster I ordered the other day from Allposters.com. Pink Floyd - Back Catalogue. This poster combines two of my favorite things, Pink Floyd, and the female body. Those are all Pink Floyd album covers painted on their backs. I like the redhead with the Wish You Were Here album cover on her back. I ordered this thing about a week ago, and, despite the web site's claims that they ship within 24 hours, they still haven't even shipped it out yet.
Here are some interesting articles I've found on some very good blogs recently.
Ryan McGee writes about relationships:
"Ryan, what if I can't tell if we're really flirting or just faux flirting?"
If you're at wit's end on how to tell the two types of flirting apart, you can always interrupt him mid-flirt and say, "Look,
either lick me right now or let's put this crap behind us." Licking is an underrated solution to most problems.
"What are the top 5 signs we have gone from simply platonic to perhaps tongue-wrestling compatriots?"
Right, the incredibly awkward, difficult-to-navigate middle ground between friendship and lust buddies. It's a bit like playing
chicken, only in this case, you only wish you were moments from a fiery death.
He develops a sudden interest that you two previously did not share. (And no, he doesn't really like it. That's a teen
romantic comedy movie myth. He under no circumstances likes the Lifetime Network.)
"Why do girls like taken men?"
Women want guys who are taken for two reasons. One, most women can't stand to see another woman happy. Plain and
simple. I can't figure it out, but there you have it. Women who are lucky enough to find a good guy protect them like gold
in Ft. Knox. In my dating days, I knew when I would be going to place that had hot women before I even got there,
because my girlfriend would suddenly wear a smoking outfit. She was establishing territory. 2,000 years ago, she would
have flat out peed on me before we left. Evolution has only changed the methods, not the rules
Tony Pierce gives advice on how to win with a blog.
heres how to win when you blog:
write all the time. i say write every day. i actually say write many times a day, but write. write when youre bored, write
when youre inspired, write when youre tired, write after you 69ed a girl for a half hour and then flipped over and banged
for a half hour more. write about not getting any, write about getting more that you deserve, write about sports, write
about politics, write about your car, your cat, your dog, the shit between your toes, write about the shit between your toes
that smells like your dog.
snipers will take their dumb little shots, but thats when you know youve made it.
another way to know is if you see your name on blogger.com as a blog of note, but beware because that will just ring the
comeandgetit bell for all the losers to come and get jealous. which can become tiresome.
From The Sneeze (A hilarious blog, this guy kinda reminds me of Dave Barry)
Tepid Girl on Girl Action
Late the other night I was flicking around the cable dial looking for a good documentary or foreign film, so of course I went straight to Cinemax. But wouldn't you know it, they were right in the middle of a lesbian sex scene. Darn the luck!
Normally this would be swell news, but I couldn't help noticing that the two girls in the scene looked like they really didn't want to be there. Everything they were doing was tentative and forced.
They seemed kind of sad, like they were almost about to cry, and it gave a degrading air to the entire thing that made me feel gross. It just seemed so wrong. Wrong because I pay good money for Cinemax! C'mon girls, who wants to see half-assed lesbians?
Dont get me wrong, I watched the rest of the movie, but what has happened to the work ethic in this country? What happened to taking pride in your craft? Whether you're about to do some girl on camera, or you're about to weld a backseat into a Ford Taurus, or you're trying to find the gene that causes male pattern baldness (by the way, step up the pace on that one) you owe it to your country and yourself to give it 110%
So to all of you reading this who are just now about to do a cheap lesbian sex scene to pay your rent: You march right in there and you lick that girl like you mean it, or at the very least pretend to. If that's not your cup of tea, then how about a good ol' fashioned nipplefight?
Okay, I don't even know what that is, but I'm pretty sure I'd love it. Nipplefight. It sounds really cool. If you get the chance to throw it around in casual conversation, or during your next meeting at work, I'd appreciate it. Maybe something like "If we get audited this year, the gals in accounting are in for a real nipplefight." I'd really like to see it catch on, so at least something good can come from all of this. USA #1!
Here are some more links, besides the ones above:
makeoutcity.com A cool blog with loads of content, and many, many links to other blogs.
Strangeways Here I Come Another interesting blog.
The following links contain adult content and should not be viewed at work:
Fucking Machines Some really weird machines created to fuck women. Complicated pieces of machinery with dildos strapped to them. You have to join to see full-size pictures of most of the good porn, but you can still see some good-sized thumbnails. The most interesting part though (for me, anyway) are the pictures and descriptions of the various machines. Gives complex technical data, such as depth of stroke and strokes per minute.
Fleshlight The #1 Best Selling Masturbation Adult SexToy. This is a pretty weird sex toy.
Ok, I think that's about it for now. In all it took me about three hours to write this post.