Strange Things are Afoot at the Circle K.: August 2003

Sunday, August 31, 2003 This website is really cool. Actually, I mainly just like the first screen, just leave it there and listen to the music. The rest of the site is kinda cool, it's a site that sells weird contact lenses, to use with costumes and stuff.

Dammit! My car tape player ate one of my Dr. Demento tapes! And the best one too, this one was full of hard to find songs, such as the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy song about Marvin the Paranoid Android, Marvin I Love You. I also can't figure out how I'm gonna get the tape out of the tape player, since you can't really get inside a car tape player to untangle the tape and get it out.

I gotta get ready for work now, we're going to be short handed tonight, since we still haven't been able to hire anybody. I just hope it's not as busy tonight, it's labor day weekend, so we might be, but its also raining all day, so it might not be as busy.

Saturday, August 30, 2003

Oh yeah, I forgot to mention last night that Bonita got fired. That sucks, she was one of only three or four people that I actually liked to work with. She got fired for calling in too much. She always had a good reason for calling in though, usually it was because she had to go to court because of custody battles over her kid. Wednesday night she got really sick and had to home early, and then Thursday she called in saying she had to go to the doctor, so they fired her. We're really short handed at work now, and they can't even find anyone to hire. The last week or two they've went through every application they have, but either they can't contact the person for some reason, or the person has already found a job, or we hire the person and they never show up for their first day of work.

I've been listening to the FLCL soundtrack almost constantly since I got it, it's pretty cool. It's full of bad English though, it's funny. Most of the songs are in Japanese, but have at least some English in them, most of which is translated badly, or makes no sense. One of the songs goes "With the kids sing out the future. Maybe, kids don't need the masters. Just waiting for the little busters, oh yeah." The rest is in Japanese.

Damn, gotta get ready for work now.

Man, tonight was extremely busy at work. I've been home for an hour and a half and I'm still worn out. We made almost $900 tonight, breakfast shift barely makes that much anymore. That is extremely busy for night shift. And most of that was made in the space of about three hours. I guess it's because it's Labor Day weekend. Tomorrow will probably be even busier, because there's an OU football game. Though it's supposed to be raining really heavily the next day or two, so maybe that will cut the business down a little tomorrow. I hope so, because I go in at two tomorrow. It's bad enough working that long shift even when it's not incredibly busy. We got lots of idiots tonight too, a lot of teenagers. This one car full of teenagers came through drive through, and every time I'd open the window to take their money or give them their change or food, one of the guys in the backseat would start yelling "PENIS!" at the top of his lungs, over and over.

I hate people.

I'd write more, but I'm too damn tired. I should go to bed.

Friday, August 29, 2003

A week or so ago I ordered the soundtrack CD for FLCL, a.k.a. "Furi Kuri," a.k.a. "Fooly Cooly." It finally arrived today. It's pretty cool, I mainly bought it for just one track though. Next I'm gonna order the DVDs of the show. They're pretty expensive though, even through Discount Anime DVD. There's three DVDs and they're something like $21 or $23 each. I don't know why there are three DVDs, there's only six episodes, they could have fit it all on one disc. It's a cool show, I wish they hadn't taken it off Cartoon Network already. They only showed it for about three weeks. Of course that was long enough to show the entire series three times.

I have to go to work later, at 4:00. I hate Fridays. On Fridays and Saturdays we are open later, until 11:30. It's even worse on Saturdays, when I have to come in at 2:00 and work until close.

Thursday, August 28, 2003

I had been planning on working on the web page today, since I was off work, but I didn't. Instead I've been watching movies for the last five hours. I bought the Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers DVD today, even though I had been saying I wasn't going to. I wasn't going to buy it, I was going to wait until November and buy the 4-disc special edition. But I guess I'll end up buying both versions, just like I did wth the first movie, even though I didn't like this movie that much. I hated it when I saw it in the theater. I only saw it once I hated it so much, and I almost walked out before it ended. It was nothing like the book. I thought maybe I'd like it better the second time I saw it, especially since it's been a while since I read the book, but I still didn't like it very much. I liked it better than when I saw it in the theater, but I still don't think it's as good as the first movie.

I also bought the Clerks DVD. Another movie I didn't like very much the first time I saw it, but figured I'd like better the second time, and this time I was right. I've only seen it once, and that was about a year ago, and I wasn't in the greatest mood when I was watching it, so I didn't like it that much. I like the animated series though, so I decided to give it another chance, and I liked it much better this time. I've never seen Mallrats, or Chasing Amy. The first Kevin Smith movie I ever saw was Dogma, and I loved it, I have it on DVD and I've watched it many times. I've also seen Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back once, and it was hilarious, I almost bought it today too. I've seen most of Mallrats, but only on channels that had to censor out every other word, thus making it suck.

Once again, it's too fucking hot. It got up to like 102 or something today, and got up to 80 in the house. It's still 76 in here. Luckily it's supposed to cool down all of a sudden. Saturday it's gonna be like 98 degrees, but then Sunday the high is only going to be 75 degrees, and they say it will feel even colder than that. I can't wait. They also say this will probably be, in the words of the weather man, "Summer's last hurrah." After it cools down on Sunday, it will probably stay cool the rest of the summer. Well, cool for Oklahoma, only in the 80s instead of 90s and 100-plus temperatures. I hope they're right.

Well, Robert Anton Wilson is now running for governor of California too. He missed all the sign up dates and stuff, but he's the official write in candidate for the "Guns and Dope Party." Their party motto, which they got from Wilson is "Like what you like, enjoy what you enjoy, and don't take crap from anybody." The main points of his campaign are "Guns for those who want them, no guns for those who don't," "drugs for those who want them, no drugs for those who don't," "freedom of choice, free love, free speech, free Internet and free beer," and the secession of CA from the union, meaning California will leave the U.S. and become it's own country. He also plans on replacing 33% of the current politicians (chosen at random) with ostriches, "whose mysterious and awesome dignity will elevate the suidean barbarity long established there." I'm not sure, but that may be supposed to say "eleviate" instead of "elevate." See the official announcement here.

Alicia would like this, on Insomniac some women are boxing, and one's getting her ass kicked, and she looks kinda like Crystal, well, she's short and chubby anyway, and she's getting her ass kicked.

Now I'm bored, maybe I'll watch another movie, maybe Fight Club, I love that movie. Last night I was up until 3:00 a.m. watching Dr. Strangelove, Or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb. Man, that's a long movie title, and I'm really getting tired of italicizing things.

Hmm, what else can I talk about?

Today at Hastings they had a Jesus action figure, "With poseable arms and gliding action!" It had wheels on the bottom so it would glide along. I have a little "Buddy Christ, like from Dogma. Wow, that goes along with what I was just talking about, and what I was talking about earlier. Talk, write, type, whatever. Fuck you.

I notice today that on Alicia's website there are now no Google ads at all, just a blank space. It's just tormenting her.

The other day I found all my old Dr. Demento tapes! Back when I was in 8th grade, I think it was, I learned about the Dr. Demento show, which is syndicated around the country and was on one of the radio stations here. I listened to it for a couple of months, and recorded it every week, but then they took it off the air here. Well yesterday I found a box of cassette tapes, I was wondering where they were, I hadn't seen them for a year or two. Now I just need to figure out which box all my old tape players are in.

Wow, long post.

this is the song that doesn't end, it just goes on and on my friend, some people started singing it not knowing what it was, and they'll just keep on singing it forever just because this is the song that doesn't end, it just goes on and on my friend, some people started singing it not knowing what it was, and they'll just keep on singing it forever just because this is the song that doesn't end, it just goes on and on my friend, some people started singing it not knowing what it was, and they'll just keep on singing it forever just because this is the song that doesn't end, it just goes on and on my friend, some people started singing it not knowing what it was, and they'll just keep on singing it forever just because this is the song that doesn't end, it just goes on and on my friend, some people started singing it not knowing what it was, and they'll just keep on singing it forever just because this is the song that doesn't end, it just goes on and on my friend, some people started singing it not knowing what it was, and they'll just keep on singing it forever just because this is the song that doesn't end, it just goes on and on my friend, some people started singing it not knowing what it was, and they'll just keep on singing it forever just because this is the song that doesn't end, it just goes on and on my friend, some people started singing it not knowing what it was, and they'll just keep on singing it forever just because this is the song that doesn't end, it just goes on and on my friend, some people started singing it not knowing what it was, and they'll just keep on singing it forever just because this is the song that doesn't end, it just goes on and on my friend, some people started singing it not knowing what it was, and they'll just keep on singing it forever just because this is the song that doesn't end, it just goes on and on my friend, some people started singing it not knowing what it was, and they'll just keep on singing it forever just because this is the song that doesn't end, it just goes on and on my friend, some people started singing it not knowing what it was, and they'll just keep on singing it forever just because this is the song that doesn't end, it just goes on and on my friend, some people started singing it not knowing what it was, and they'll just keep on singing it forever just because...

Still not much to write about, but worry not, I have not abandoned you. Here are some links to help you in your time of need. Or something like that.

The Tsar Card Every man and woman is a Tsar. Get your credentials here.
Babe's Big Blue Balls The sidekick of Paul Bunyan, Babe the big blue ox and his big blue balls.
Heroes The best flash animation ever. It's basically Clerks with Marvel Comics characters playing the roles. Takes a while to download if you're not on broadband, which I'm not.
Matrix Revolutions Preview The trailer for Matrix Revolutions. Takes even longer to download.
The Best Page In The Universe That's its name, not my opinion, though I agree. Very funny and offensive. Some angry guy and his editorials, I about died laughing. In one article he rates ugly cars on the Gary Busey scale of ugliness, 1 being not ugly, 10 being Gary Busey.
Unspeakably Stupid Stories Pretty Funny
The Go Fuck Yourself Homepage Go fuck yourself.
Dr. Hugh Jass The homepage of Dr. Hugh Jass and family.
Joseph Pujol, the Fartiste The story of Le Petomane and his amazing flatulence.

Wednesday, August 27, 2003

I haven't been writing much the last few days, I've been busy working on the web page I'm making. It's taking longer than I thought, it's long, tedious work converting over a hundred text files into HTML web pages.

Well, I gotta go to work in a little while, luckily it's a short night, and I'll probably work lobby and get off really early. I'm glad, I don't feel like working tonight.

Monday, August 25, 2003

Mmmm, Mila Jovovich's tits. The Fifth Element is on again. She is so hot.

Alicia is fighting a losing battle with her Google ads. Her Google ads are even worse than mine. They always generate ads for things that have nothing to do with her website. A lot of the time they are religious. So yesterday she made a post that was just a list of things she likes, so maybe Google would see them and give her better ads.

"vampires, Stupid google. I'm gonna write about things I like today. Ice cream. Vampires, blood, music, bass guitar, drums, flannel pants, tanktops, pants, spoons, vampires, Bush, wicca, witches, movies, Stuart Townsend, Matt Morris, Gavin Rossdale, ice cream. Vampires. Ok. I'm done."

So far it's not working today the ad was something in Italian, which makes sense I guess, becuase for some reason she has it set up so that the date headers on her posts is in Italian. I clicked the link, as far as I can tell, it's some kind of concert tour, with shirts and hats for sale that have pumpkins on them. And it's free. I've always had a talent with languages, or the latin-based ones anyway. A lot of the time I can recognize the latin roots of the words, and figure out what some words mean. For example:

"Concerti gratuiti per tutto agosto Scarica l'invito e scegli il regalo." Actually I didn't do to good with this one, all I can understand is "free concert," "August," and something about being invited.

"A quale concerto di Tour Arancio desideri partecipare?" Which concert of Tour Arancio do you wish to attend? Or participate in, I'm not sure. Then it gives a list of dates and places of the various performances, and you click one, and type in your name and email address.

Well, I didn't get much done on my Wizard of Speed and Time webpage yesterday. Mostly just research, looking at the few other web pages about the topic, and obtaining pictures and other things to put on my page. I didn't get very much coding done. I should get a lot done my next day off, maybe enough to even get the webpage up and running. I have to go to work in a little while, so I wont get to work on it today.

Sunday, August 24, 2003

The way computers are portrayed in movies has always bugged me, here's a list from Endless Jokes.

1.. Word processors never display a cursor.
2.. You never have to use the spacebar when typing long sentences.
3.. All monitors display 2 inch high letters.
4.. High-tech computers, such as those used by NASA, the CIA, or some such
governmental institution, have easy-to-understand graphical interfaces.
5.. Those that don't, will have incredibly powerful text-based command
shells that can correctly understand and execute commands typed in plain
6.. Corollary: You can gain access to any information you want by simply
typing "ACCESS ALL OF THE SECRET FILES" on any keyboard.
7.. Likewise, you can infect a computer with a destructive virus by simply
typing "UPLOAD VIRUS." Viruses cause temperatures in computers, just like
they do in humans. After a while, smoke billows out of disk drives and
8.. All computers are connected. You can access the information on the
villain's desktop computer, even if it's turned off.
9.. Powerful computers beep whenever you press a key or whenever the
screen changes. Some computers also slow down the output on the screen so
that it doesn't go faster than you can read. The *really* advanced ones also
emulate the sound of a dot-matrix printer as the characters come across the
10.. All computer panels have thousands of volts and flash pots just
underneath the surface. Malfunctions are indicated by a bright flash, a puff
of smoke, a shower of sparks, and an explosion that forces you backward.
(See #7, above)
11.. People typing away on a computer will turn it off without saving the
12.. A hacker can get into the most sensitive computer in the world before
intermission and guess the secret password in two tries.
13.. Any PERMISSION DENIED has an OVERRIDE function.
14.. Complex calculations and loading of huge amounts of data will be
accomplished in under three seconds. In the movies, modems transmit data at
two gigabytes per second.
15.. When the power plant/missile site/whatever overheats, all the control
panels will explode, as will the entire building.
16.. If you display a file on the screen and someone deletes the file, it
also disappears from the screen. There are no ways to copy a backup file and
there are no undelete utilities.
17.. If a disk has got encrypted files, you are automatically asked for a
password when you try to access it.
18.. No matter what kind of computer disk it is, it'll be readable by any
system you put it into. All application software is usable by all computer
19.. The more high-tech the equipment, the more buttons it has. However,
everyone must have been highly trained, because the buttons aren't labelled.
20.. Most computers, no matter how small, have reality-defying
three-dimensional, real-time, photo-realistic animated graphics capability.
21.. Laptops, for some strange reason, always seem to have amazing
real-time video phone capabilities and the performance of a CRAY-MP.
22.. Whenever a character looks at a VDU, the image is so bright that it
projects itself onto his/her face.
23.. Computers never crash during key, high-intensity activities. Humans
operating computers never make mistakes under stress. Modems never hang up.
24.. Programs are fiendishly perfect and never have bugs that slow down
X (For X-Files). The most popular computer in the world is Macintosh.

...and not a single word about "Bad Command or File Name", "NO CARRIER" or
"(A)bort, (R)etry, (F)ail?"

Here's a contribution of my own. From Independence Day, and similar movies. Using your normal Macintosh laptop you can go up to the alien mothership, and connect to its computer and give it a virus easier than you can connect to America Online.

At work today Alicia told me that she laughed so hard she almost fell out of her chair when she read my post about how I was arguing with the song on The Queen of the Damned.

Is it just me, or did that sentence feel really awkward? It also could've used a comma somewhere. And "awkward," is that spelled right? It looks wrong. Ironically, it looks awkward.

Tonight at work was fun, we all kept making fun of Daniel. It was pretty slow, so for like an hour we just all stood around talking about Freddy vs. Jason, and all the other Freddy or Jason movies. Daniel explained the plot to every Jason movie there is, which was cool for me, because I've never seen any of the Friday the 13th movies. I've only seen a couple of the Nightmare on Elm Street movies. I'm not a big fan of horror movies. After that me and Daniel talked about Star Trek for about half an hour. I used to be a huge Star Trek fan, but I don't watch it much now. Mainly because I've seen every episode the The Next Generation several times. It was my favorite series.

So much for going to bed early.

Why the fuck do my hands smell like barbeque sauce?

Tomorrow I plan on finally getting around to creating a web page about Mike Jittlov and The Wizard of Speed and Time. This is something I've been planning on doing for a long time. It's one of the best movies ever, but most people have never even heard of it. I'm not gonna talk about it right now though. If you're interested in it, check out the web page when I get it made.

I'm extremely tired today. I haven't been sleeping well the last few nights. For some reason the last two or three hours I try to sleep in the morning I wake up like every 10 or 15 minutes. And for the short time I am asleep, I have really weird dreams every time I go back to sleep. Those weird, restless dreams that leave you more tired than you were when you went to sleep. So anyway, I'm gonna go to bed a little early.

Friday, August 22, 2003

I just about laughed myself silly. The Queen of the Damned was coming on, and it was playing that song Forsaken, and I was arguing with the song.

"You see I can not be forsaken"
I can.
"Because I'm not the only one."
I am.

Oh, man, after typing that I laughed so hard again I got dizzy.

I hate this movie, it's one of the worst movies ever made. It's nothing like the book, they completely changed it, it's barely even the same plot. But that's no tthe only reason I hate it, it's just a really awful movie. It's very badly written, and made, and the special effects are horrible, and the vampires look extremely stupid. The music sucks too. I love the soundtrack, but it sucks in the movie because instead of having the songs sung by the artists that sung them on the album, the actor in the movie is singing them, and he can't sing to save his life.

I also hate Aaliyah, or however the hell you spell her name. I'm glad she's dead, just like Tupac and Kurt Cobain.

Well, looks like the world lucked out with that computer virus. See the previous post. It links to a site telling about how that big computer virus going around, SoBig.f, was supposed to enter its second phase today, and do who knows what. Here's a post made to alt.slack telling about how this plan was thwarted. Very weird stuff.

Subject: SoBig.F gunned down by Agent Smith
From: "Rev. Ivan Stang"
Date: Fri, Aug 22, 2003 2:59 PM
Message-id: <>

F-Secure Virus Descriptions

Radar Alert LEVEL 1
NAME: Sobig.F
ALIAS: W32/Sobig.F@mm

For more information, see:

A new variant of Sobig, known as Sobig.F was first found on August
19th, 2003 and it is spreading in the wild.

Sobig.F activates on Friday the 22nd of August at 19:00 UTC. For
information on this, please see:

((Stang note: to make a long story short, at 3 pm EST this virus was
supposed to cause all infected devices to connect to one of 20
"INFECTED SUPER MONSTER SERVERS," which the fiendish hackers had
prepped in advance, theoretically in secret, and then... DO
SOMETHING... but The Man was onto them, and in a suspiciously
Made-for-TV-style last-minute showdown, all but one of the hapless
patsy virtual Lee Harvey Oswald servers was pinned down and disabled,
and it finally went down in a blaze of gunfire.

Again, we suspect that the actual fiend behind this attack was none
other than the shadowy figure known variously as "The Disk Doctor" and
"Norton." The Man, however, is blaming "organized crime."))

Update on 16:00 UTC

F-Secure can confirm that 18 of the 20 master servers are currently
down or unreachable.

Update on 17:00 UTC

F-Secure can confirm that 17 of the 20 master servers are currently
down. Apparently one of the machines was not disconnected by an ISP and
has been booted up by its owner.

We're working together with CERTs, FBI and Microsoft to stop the last

Update on 18 UTC

F-Secure can confirm that ALL the master server machines are currently
down or unreachable. One of them seems to still respond to PING but not
to 8998 UDP.

We have one hour to go to see if this really is the case.

Update on 18:20 UTC

Unfortunately one server is up right now after all. And one might be
enough for the attack to start succesfully.

Update on 19:00 UTC

When deadline for the attack was passed, one machine was still
(somewhat) up. However, immediatly after the deadline, this machine
(located in the USA) was totally swamped under network traffic.

We've tried connecting to it, just like the virus does. We do this from
three different sensors from three different machines in three
different countries. We haven't been able to connect to it once. If we
can't connect, neither can the viruses.

So the attack failed. Whoa.

We'll keep monitoring until 23:00 UTC. If we're not able to connect
once, we can safely say that the attack was prevented.


4th Stangian Orthodox MegaFisTemple Lodge of the Wrath of Dobbs Yeti,
Resurrected (Rev. Ivan Stang, prop.)
P.O. Box 181417, Cleveland, OH 44118 (fax 216-320-9528)
A subsidiary of:
The SubGenius Foundation, Inc. / P.O. Box 204206, Austin, TX 78720-4206
Dobbs-Approved Authorized Commercial Outreach of The Church of the SubGenius
For SubGenius Biz & Orders: call toll free to 1-888-669-2323
or email:

F-Secure News: A potentially massive Internet attack starts today Wow, this is kinda scary, really creepy. It's like the plot to a movie or something.

Damn. Because of all the times I mentioned Smurfs in that Black Hole of Carcosa book, the google generated ads at the top of the page keep giving links to Smurfs websites. And, for some reason, Betty Boop. I hate Betty Boop almost as much as Smurfs. Well, now that I've mentioned them both several times in one post, it's definitely going to provide links to them. Those links can be cool sometimes, but other times they can be really annoying. Sometimes it'll be like "What? Why the hell is it giving links to that? I've never even mentioned that." Like for the last week or two on Alicia's site, the links have all been about deer hunting and first aid supplies for some reason.

"8 Legged Freaks" is on again. I've still never seen the very beginning though, both times I've seen it, I've turned it on at the same exact part of the movie. My mom's actually watching it today, though she's cringing the entire time. She says she hates it when the spiders jump.

I hate it when I don't know how to end a post.

Thursday, August 21, 2003

Well, another day off, another day of doing fuck-all. At least I played Knights of the Old Republic for a few hours, instead of just sitting in front of the computer in a stupor like I have my last few days off. I should have mowed the lawn like my mom wanted, since my dad has hurt his back and can't mow it himself right now. I didn't though, becuase it's too damn hot. It's back up in the hundreds again, it got up to 80 degrees inside the house. Even now, at 11:30 at night, it's still 91 degrees with a heat index of 94 outside, and 77 in the house. Just shows what a person can get used to. Here people are happy because it's only going to be in the mid to high 90s instead of 100s the next few days. In France, they're not used to it, they have temperatures in the high 90s and occasionally 100, and thousands of people die. They're saying now the death toll in France alone could be anywhere between 10 and 15 thousand people. That's just ridiculous. Some toddler died in Texas today, or maybe it was yesterday, because his parents forgot and left him in the SUV for 8 hours. How could you forget your kid anywhere for 8 hours?

Here's a cool remark that was on a web page: "Remember, pornography is Satan's way of showing love-lorn losers what they're missing." That's so true. Maybe if I'd quit looking at porn so much, maybe I wouldn't be so fucking horny. Maybe if I'd finally go out and get some damn Zoloft, or whatever the hell it is, I could actually go out and get laid.

Here's a cool link, to a site about someone who's almost as big a loser as I am. The Star Wars Kid You've probably heard about the Star Wars Kid, almost everyone has, though I hadn't until recently. If you haven't, here's the back story. Some fat 15 year old geek was using the school's video camera for something, and then, in his spare time, he also taped a video of him twirling around with a stick, pretending he was in a light saber duel. He forgot to take that video out when he returned the camera, and his "friends" found it, and uploaded it on Kazaa. A couple of weeks later someone else reposted the video with full quality visual and sound effects. Now, there are many versions of the video going around, and the embarrassing video of this poor kid has been downloaded over 12 million times, making him the most downloaded male on the internet (the most downloaded female is Pamela Anderson, or something like that). Luckily, some people are trying to make it up to the kid, and have started a petition to get George Lucas to put the kid in Star Wars Episode III. The petition has over 64,000 signatures. Anyway, click the link and laugh at the fat kid's embarrassment.

Japanese Language Swear Words and their English Translation. Profanity, Swearing, Cursing, Cussing and Insulting!


There's a cat that hangs out in our parking lot at work all night. It sleeps in the flower beds, jumps in people's open car windows and prowls around in their cars, and sits out in the parking lot meowing at me. People feed it and stuff, but it pretty much feeds itself on bugs. Every summer we have two or three cats that sit around at night eating the bugs that swarm under the big parking lot lights. Last night the cat was walking through the parking lot, and I was yelling at it. I said "No kitty! Stop assassinating Kennedy! That's a bad kitty!" It just meowed.

This is pretty funny:

Subject: Advantages of Growing Old
From: idrmrsr
Date: Wed, Jul 23, 2003 10:29 PM
Message-id: <>

Yer car is paid off.

Yer house is paid off.

Yer still wearing the same polyester pants you bought in 1984 and nobody

Ya give up the nifty expensive Matrix shades for those fifty cent wrap
around things they hand you out at the eye doctors. And nobody notices.

Ya don't consider it worthwhile to drop a couple C notes for a piece of
ass. If ya do get the urge, just don't take that Viagara and it will

Ya don't have to worry about climbing the corporate ladder. If ya ain't
made it by now, ya ain't gonna.

Yer gonna consider things like lengthy warranties before selecting a

Yer never gonna get yer hair styled or shoes shined or have to put on a
suit except the funeral dude will one last time when you are planted.

Yer main goal in life is simply to stay out of jail. Cuz yer old,
nobody notices you anyhow, which is like the Christian shroud of
invisibility. Ya kin do as ya please, long as nobody notices the smell.

Ya don't have to buy cologne or anything, cuz, the wimmin yer likely to
go out with are old enough to smell like pee themselves, so yer not
likely to git noticed there either.

Ya kin travel all ya want. Nobody misses you and when ya git there,
there's nobody waiting fer ya anyhow. When ya really want ta have a
good time with yer buddies, ya go to the cemetery.

And last, when ya git sos ya cain't hold yer water or move fast enough
ta git to tha potty, they send college kids with hot meals eventually.
Which is swell, cuz, once ya git that old, ya think they're yer own
kids, and that makes ya even happier.

Wednesday, August 20, 2003

YourMom! A collection of "Your mother" jokes.

Well, I finished reading "The Black Hole of Carcosa" already. It was only 184 pages, and only took me about three or four hours to read. It was pretty cool, especially the parts with Stang, "Bob," and Jesus, which unfortunately wasn't as much as I had hoped. "Bob" and Stang were only in the book from page 130 to 156. the Fightin' Jesus was only in one little scene, but it was really cool. They prayed to the Fightin' Jesus, and he descended from heaven in an elevator, and stepped out with a cigar clenched between his teeth, and shot everyone with a machine gun, and then went back to heaven. The smurf massacre scene was a little different than I had been told, for example, "Bob," Stang and Jesus weren't even in the book yet, it was just the main character, Kamus. And it wasn't really a "Bloody massacre." An army of dwarves and smurfs surrounded Kamus, and he used magic to turn the dwarves into hideous cannibal trolls, which then ate the smurfs, but it didn't really describe it much, it just stated that the smurfs got eaten. It was still a pretty cool book.

I also watched "Maybe Logic" yesterday. It was great.

Yesterday was a great day. Because of the book and the movie, but it was also great at work. The first reason work was cool yesterday is that the new woman we hired never showed up and got fired, so I didn't have to train her. I hate training people. But the best thing that happened yesterday was that James got fired. I HATE JAMES! He annoyed everyone, they were just looking for a reason to fire him. The managers had been trying to hire some people so they could cut his hours or fire him.

I'm tired. I have to go to work later. Luckily I don't go in until 4:00, and I work the lobby tonight, instead of drive-through, and I usually get done with the lobby really quick, and they send me home early, if it's not busy.

I've got a headache. My eyes have been bothering me the last week.

Tuesday, August 19, 2003

BBC NEWS | Asia-Pacific | Giant gerbils infest China

Great day for me, for upon getting home from work, I discovered that I had a MAILBOX FULL OF FUN! Man, I'm gonna have to start a band, just so I can call it "Mailbox Full of Fun," or maybe something besides "Fun," but Mailbox Full of ANYTHING would make a cool band name.

Anyway. I got home from work and all the things I had ordered recently had come in today. First off, a book. A very hard to find book. John Shirley's "Black Hole of Carcosa," of which there are not very many copies left. This is a very weird sci-fi book, and though I've never read it, I've heard it is AMAZING! It must be cool, because it features such Church of the SubGenius personalities as Ivan Stang, the Fightin' Jesus, and "Bob" himself! PRAISE "BOB!" One scene in the book features "Bob" and Jesus engaging in the BLOODY MASSACRE OF HUNDREDS OF SMURFS! Oh man, I can't wait to read this.

But perhaps even better than that, my copy of the DVD of Robert Anton Wilson's new movie "Maybe Logic" came in. I can't wait to watch it. The package alone is amazing! Since it's a two disc set, the case is one of those ones that fold out a couple of times, and it's held closed with a black, heavy-duty rubber-band with "Maybe Logic" printed on it. The case on the outside is black, with some kind of city street map faintly printed on it. The map is backwards, but several words are printed large and turned the right way, these are "Santa Cruz", "Twin Lakes State Beach", and "Capitola," and then there's a big eye-in-the-pyramid on the top center of the box, above the title. The inside of the case has pictures of various letters and documents, such as letters from Timothy Leary. The movie also came with a high quality business card, which is adorned with a couple of fancy symbols and states "The bearer of this card is a genuine and authorized TSAR. Like what you want, enjoy what you enjoy, and don't take crap from anybody. Genuine and authorized by the House of Apostles of Eris. Every man and woman is a tsar. Reproduce and distribute this card freely -- Maybe Logic Head Temple, Republic of California."

I'm gonna be really busy the next few days. Busy having FUN!

"Stop Thinking. Accept "Bob." Exterminate Normals. Amen."

Monday, August 18, 2003

Alison's PantsCam

Ok, call me sick or whatever, but this story made me laugh. Especially the part where dozens of children had to get therapy. MULLET OF DEATH!

Carnival Worker Killed at Fair

LANGLEY -- A man working on a carnival ride at the Island County Fair was killed Saturday after a roller coaster pulled him into the air by his hair and then dropped him from as high as 40 feet onto a fence.

The accident happened on what is traditionally the busiest day of the fair at one of its most populated locations, said Island County Sheriff Mike Hawley.

"There were literally hundreds of people who were right there, and there were at least a dozen people" on the ride, Hawley said.

He said dozens of children and adults were treated for shock after watching the accident.

Doug McKay, 40, of Post Falls, Idaho, was apparently lubricating the track of the doughnut-shaped Super Loop 2 roller coaster ride when his long hair was caught by the cable that supports the ride, said Jan Smith, a spokeswoman for the Island County Sheriff's Department.

McCay was pulled 25 to 40 feet into the air and then fell, landing on his lower back on a fence, she said.

"He appears to have died immediately on impact," Smith said.

Twelve-year-old Dylan Volz was on the ride when the accident occurred, and said that it looked to him like McKay was caught by his arm, not his hair.

"He was leaning out and spraying WD-40 or something when he got hit," said Dylan, who said he saw McKay put lubricant on the machine several times before dodging away just before one of the ride's cars went by. "I saw him get pulled up and dropped."

Once the ride stopped, Dylan said he got off as fast as he could.

"I just put my hands up over my eyes and walked away," he said. "No one should have to see that."

He said he and the other kids on the ride talked to counselors after they got off the ride, and added that it helped quite a bit.

"I had a lot of people ask me if I was OK," he said.

McKay was co-owner of Paradise Amusements, a Coeur d'Alene, Idaho, company that has been traveling to festivals for more than 40 years. The company offers rides ranging from Tilt-A-Whirl to Paratrooper to an old-fashion Ferris wheel.

In an apparent bid to keep the family business alive, McKay had recently taken over the company from his father, Robert McKay, who had just retired.

Other witnesses said Doug McKay's death was hard to take for Island County carnival workers and fairgoers alike.

Grethe Cammermeyer, a former Vietnam War nurse who was at the fair to staff the county's Democratic Party booth, said she arrived at just after the accident.

One of the first things she saw was a grief-stricken carnival worker who said he was operating the Super Loop 2 ride when McKay died. He told Cammermeyer he had just watched his best friend die.

Cammermeyer said she also met up with some of the kids who were on the roller coaster when the accident happened.

"To have it witnessed by young kids out to have a good time is something that they will never, ever, ever forget," she said. "One girl was just devastated. She used my cell phone to call her dad."

Craig Brant, also working the Democrats' booth, said he didn't see the accident. But when he left the fairgrounds to go home, there was a group of uniformed carnival workers "huddled in the parking lot."

"Some of them were crying," Brant said. "They said their boss had been killed. And all the rides were stopped and shut down." Hawley said his office is conducting an investigation on the accident, and said the state Department of Labor and Industries is also investigating.

The carnival was closed after the accident, and there was no word on whether the rides would run again today.

Although live music and other activities around the carnival were shut down for four hours on Saturday, Hawley said fair organizers told him that all noncarnival activities would continue today, the last day of the fair.

Cammermeyer said the fairgrounds were quiet for most of the day, but that festivities had started to pick up again by 8 p.m.

"It's more than a little eerie," she said.

America's Best Christian's Gift of God Shop > Underwear > Thong "I Gave Myself to Jesus" | Powered by

Sunday, August 17, 2003

Man, I didn't do shit today. I mean I haven't done anything, I didn't even do the slacking off I had intended to do today. I was off today, and had intended to play Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic for 8 hours or so, and not much else. Maybe go to Best Buy or something. I didn't do either. I woke up at 11:00, and watched Kim Possible, then I found that The Fifth Element was on HBO yet again, so I watched that for about the 100th time. That's like my favorite movie. My sister's seen it almost as many times as I have, and I could hear her in her room saying lines from the movie along with the actors. After that went off I finally got out of bed, I hadn't even gottten out of bed to piss or anything yet. After I took my shower and stuff, I went to my room and checked out for a few hours, and ordered a couple of cds from the SubGenius store. Then me and my parents went to Furrs to eat dinner. Then I came home and have been web surfing and listening to cds up until this very moment.

Talk about a wasted day. Not like I had anything better to do. I really wish I had played my video game though, it's been over a week since I played it last.

I'm bored. It's only 10:30 and I'm about ready to just go to bed. There's nothing else to do, except more of what I've been doing all day.

I wish I could do something creative, I want to write a story or something.

Even masturbation sounds boring. Of course, that lost its fun years ago. Now it's basically just a habit.

To once again put it bluntly, I really need some pussy. Actually, it's more than that. I don't just need sex. I need a girlfriend, a real relationship. Love, and shit like that. Even simpler than that, I just need to be touched, and I don't mean in a sexual way. But no one ever touches me, and I don't touch them. Even the simplest touch is the hardest thing for me. I dream of being hugged.

"As for you, my galvanized friend, you want a heart. You don't know how
lucky you are not to have one. Hearts will never be practical until they can
be made unbreakable."
-The Wizard of Oz

Links time.

Mouse Planet Disney is firing its artists and shutting down its animation studios. Not all of them, just the hand-drawn animation. From now on, it's all done on computers. Full news story here.

Dirty Bids Like eBay, but everything's Adult Oriented. Porn and stuff.

Alysabeth's Big List of Stripper Names

My Darn Good Resumé A list of George W. Bush's White House "accomplishments."

Words for Breasts 205 different names for breasts.

Break this record

The Bush Countdown Clock Counting down the days Bush has left in office.

OK, that's it for now. Now go away.

Saturday, August 16, 2003

Well, maybe my alarm clock isn't broken. It worked fine this morning. I guess I've just been turning it off without waking up, again.

Ashley quit, or got fired, however you want to look at it. She was a no call/no show Thursday, and no one's heard from her since. James may be fired too, last night he called saying all his cows got out, and he would be late. He never showed up at all though. And no one could get ahold of him after. Everyone figures he was lying, and just didn't want to work on a Friday night. If so, he's gonna be fired. I hope so, I hate him. Everyone's glad Ashley's gone too. Although we are really short handed this now. Me and Bonita are the only night crew front line workers now.

Well, I gotta go to work now. For nine and a half hours.

Radioactive Nests of Hanford Wasps are Science Fact

Friday, August 15, 2003

All Glory to the Hypno-Toad! hypnotoad.swf

Texas Congressman Dick Armey was asked, "If you
had been in President Clinton's place, would you
have resigned?"

He replied: "If I had been in the president's
place I would not have gotten the chance to resign.
I would have been lying in a pool of my own blood,
looking up, and listening to my wife ask, "How do
you reload this son-of-a-bitch?"

Cool, Marilyn Manson is on Conan O'Brian. He was talking about breast-feeding his cat. With his breast. Then he put lipstick on Conan.

I had fun last night at Daniel's. Video games, pizza, and beer. I really need to get out and do stuff like that more often. I was there until almost 2:00 AM.

I think my alarm clock is broken. Either that or I'm just turning it off without waking up. It hasn't gotten me up in two days. I had it set for 7:00 AM yesterday because I had to get up and take my antibiotics for my toe, but it didn't go off. My mom woke me up at about 7:30 though. Then I went back to bed and set my alarm for 10:00, and it didn't go off then either. It didn't go off this morning at 10:00 either. I've checked, I've got it set right, the alarm is turned on and everything.

Man, I'm tired today. I have to work today, but at least I don't have to go in until 4:00.

"I tell you: One must still have chaos in one to give birth to a dancing star!" -- Nietzsche

Thursday, August 14, 2003


Seen in a post on the alt.slack newsgroup:

"I froze my Han Solo action figure in a block of ice once so I could do the frozen thing like in the movie. Although I also did the cover Boba Fett (or whatever his bloody name is) in petrol and set him on fire thing, and I don't remember that bit from any of the films."

Also from that same newsgroup:

Subject: unlike Gargoyle, I don't need email for 'very dark' spells...
From: (theoneflasehaddock)
Date: Tue, Aug 5, 2003 10:36 PM

this is not for the faint of breath. do not read if easily intimidated
by extraterrestrial hallucinations. please do not use this ritual as
toilet paper. all punctuation and grammer is impersonated... poorly.
Do not attempt this ritual alone, with clothes on, or in a crowded
supermarket. Allow six to eight weeks for delivery. Remember, all
sales are final.

1. prepare a package of lime green jello

2. find a banana

3. shrink the banana by getting it wet and running it through the

4. chant "shrunken banana, shrub niggurath, lime green jello, yog
sothoth, ctulhu ftaghn

5. dance naked around a fire

6. have sex with something. preferably something of your own species,
and not some kind of overweight rodent that has been fattenned for
months for slaughter, butchering, and cooking. The rodent won't be
used until later.

7. run outside and 'water' a neighbor's shrubbery

8. go eat the lime green jello, while chanting "shrunken banana, shrub
niggurath, lime green jello, yog sothoth, ctulhu ftaghn"

9. call someone on the phone. randomly. Invite them over for naked
dancing, chanting, and a bite of jello. Don't mention the rodent,
because that's just plain sick.

10. Repeat step nine. this time record it, so you can have a good
laugh later on, after you've been rejected yet again. Or, if someone
says yes, invite them over. Anyone willing to dance naked and eat lime
green jello in front of a stranger has got to be quite interesting. Be
sure and give them all the information they need, such as directions
to your house, how to get to the backyard without stepping on the
shrubbery that has been watered, your credit card number, and a phony

11. dance naked with them. shove the jello somewhere interesting, and
lick it off. Be sure and keep the rodent tied up, so that it doesn't
lick the jello off first, unless the person is really ugly, in which
case you should allow the rodent to lick it, while muttering something
about human-rat hybrids that can spray lime green jello out of their
nose when they laugh.

12. Try and persuade them not to call the cops. Offer them the banana.

13. give up on them, and go back to the banana.

14. slowly kill the banana, while posting about it to

15. do some more chanting. Go for a run around the block, naked,
waving the shrunken banana, and chanting.

16. put a sock on the banana, and hang it up to dry

17. as the banana dries, you will have good luck trolling.

18. try and x-post to alt.timothy.sutter, but leave the poor rodent
out of it.

19. take the rest of the jello, smear it on yourself, and then hop
around naked like a frog. try and do this for at least a mile or two.

20. post information on how it went. We'll be ready to read it. We're
all gonna laugh at you.

Well, I was wishing I had something to do today, and now I do. I'm going over to Daniel's house in a couple of hours, and me, him, and another guy from work are gonna play Halo. Today's been a pretty wasted day. First I overslept, it was almost noon before I woke up. Then I went to work to get my paycheck, and ended up being there for about an hour, because the checks hadn't come in yet for some reason. Then I went to Wal-Mart. And now I'm here.

Man, why does it feel so hot in here, the thermometer says it's only 73.

I just downloaded this cool thing that makes it much easier to post links to my website. Now whenever I find a cool site, I just click this button, and it automatically posts a link to that site here.

Well, that's it for now. I'll probably write more later.

Hmmm, I don't really have anything to write about. I'm off tomorrow, so I'll probably write a post or two tomorrow. Other than that, I don't know what I'm gonna do tomorrow. Probably sit around playing Knights of the Old Republic for about eight hours. That's how I've spent all of my days off lately. Maybe the movie I ordered will finally come in tomorrow. It's a movie about Robert Anton Wilson called "Maybe Logic."

Have you seen that new anime on Cartoon Network, "FLCL," also called "Fooly Cooly?" I love that show, even though it's kinda confusing. The music rules too. Too bad the show is only six episodes long. I think I'm gonna order the DVDs of the show from Not right now, but sometime soon. At the moment I don't have $80 to blow like that. I have to pay my car insurance tomorrow. They raised the price again too, now it's $400.

Mmmm...scrambled lesbian porn on Cinemax.

my head hurts...

Wednesday, August 13, 2003

This is a cool story. I've always liked Salvador Dali. This was posted in a newsgroup by someone, so I don't know if it's true or not.

"Salvador Dali used to throw himself down the stairs all the time to get attention in art school.
In his autobiography he said it got to the point where one day he was
walking up to the stairs and the entire lunchroom stopped everything they
were doing and went silent. Everyone was looking at him and waiting for him
to throw himself down the stairs yet again. He walked slowly down them
instead sneering at everone he could make eye contact with instead and said
that at that moment he felt like a GOD."

This is also cool: Researcher confirms existence of 'earworms' 98% of people have had songs stuck in their head.

Well, today was the first day of school for Purcell students. Not that that affects me in any way. Although it is rather quiet around here with my sister gone.

I work today, luckily it's a short shift though. I don't go in until 4:00, meaning I only work 6 and a half hours tonight. Unfortunately, I have to work with Ashley. The second prison I applied at never did call back. I don't know why. They said they'd call whether they hired me or not. Looks like I better try to find somewhere else to apply at now. I don't know why nowhere will hire me. I've been trying to find another job for about four years now. I don't even know where to try next.

I got a really good credit card offer in the mail today, I was going to apply for it, but I just noticed that it says "You must have a total yearly income of at least $15,000 to apply for any Discover Card." I barely make $9,000 a year.

Man, there's nothing on tv today.

You can tuna fish, you can tuna casserole, but you can't pick your friend's nose and look him in the mouth.

Here's some more song lyrics. This song is even cooler than the one I posted earlier. It's another one by Evanescence, and, once again, it's a slow sad song. I know of at least one person for whom these lyrics will really mean something.

My Immortal

i'm so tired of being here
suppressed by all of my childish fears
and if you have to leave
i wish that you would just leave
because your presence still lingers here
and it won't leave me alone

these wounds won't seem to heal
this pain is just too real
there's just too much that time cannot erase

when you cried i'd wipe away all of your tears
when you'd scream i'd fight away all of your fears
and i've held your hand through all of these years
but you still have all of me

you used to captivate me
by your resonating light
but now i'm bound by the life you left behind
your face it haunts my once pleasant dreams
your voice it chased away all the sanity in me

these wounds won't seem to heal
this pain is just too real
there's just too much that time cannot erase

when you cried i'd wipe away all of your tears
when you'd scream i'd fight away all of your fears
and i've held your hand through all of these years
but you still have all of me

i've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
and though you're still with me
i've been alone all along

Tuesday, August 12, 2003

Another damn quiz thing. This one came from Alicia's site, just like all the rest. I think I changed all the answers, I may have missed one though.


1.NAME: Kevin
2.AGE: 23
3.GRADE: I graduated High School in 1998
4.DOB: December 19th 1979


6.IF SO, NAME??:


10.RAP OR ROCK: Rock
17. POD OR CREED: Neither
18.SPICE GIRLS OR ALL SAINTS: I hate the Spice Girls, and I've never heard of All Saints.
19.THE MOFFATTS OR THE BEATLES: I've never heard of The Moffatts. The Beatles rule.
20.THERE'S SOMETHING ABOUT MARY OR AMERICAN PIE: I've never seen either of them, and I don't want to.
21.NIGHT AT THE ROXBURY OR HERE ON EARTH: I've never seen Night at the Roxbury, it looks stupid, and I've never heard of Here on Earth.
22.SCREAM OR I KNOW WHAT YOU DID LAST SUMMER: I've never seen either of those.
23.CREST OR COLGATE: Don't care.
24.PEANUT BUTTER OR JELLY: What about peanut butter AND jelly? If just one, peanut butter, I love peanut butter.
25.BIG RED OR WINTERFRESH: I don't chew gum.
28.POP OR WATER: Soda.
29.TEA OR MILK: I love both.
30.OCEAN OR LAKES: For what purpose? I don't fish, or surf, or anything else like that. I've never been to the ocean.
31.HORSES OR COWS: Horses. I hate cows. Really, I hate them, they are the stupidest most useless animals on the planet. All the do is stand around eating and shitting until they get killed and eaten.
32.CATS OR DOGS: I like both. I'd rather have a dog though.
33.SISTERS OR BROTHERS: What? Which do I like better, or which do I have? I have one sister, no brothers.
35.SMOKING OR DRINKING: I could really use a beer right now.


36.COLOR: Black and white, and fuck you if you say those aren't real colors.
39.SHAMPOO: I usually use Pert or Flex
40.POP: Coke


42.DO YOU LIKE A GUY/GIRL WITH LONG HAIR OR SHORT HAIR?: I love long hair on a girl, the longer the better.
43.DO YOU LIKE A GUY/GIRL WHO IS SEMI-UGLY BUT NICE PERSON OR SEMI-HOT AND MEAN PERSON?: I want a girl who's nice, but not if she looks like Quasimoto.
44.WHAT MOST ATTRACTS YOU TO A GUY/GIRL?: Smart, nice personality, cute. Probably in that order.
45.WHY DOES THAT ATTRACT YOU TO A GUY/GIRL: I hate stupid people.
48.IF YES(TO ?#47) WHY?:
49.IF NO WHY?:
52.WOULD YOU DATE SOMEONE WHO IS SHORTER THAN YOU?: Yes, I like the girl to be shorter than me.
53.GUYS,WOULD YOU RATHER DATE SOMEONE WHO WEARS MAKE-UP OR NO MAKEUP?: I don't like a lot of makeup, the natural look is best, but a little bit of makeup is OK.
55.(?'s 53-54)WHY?: Because I don't like it when they look like a circus clown, and makeup smells funny.
56.WHAT IS THE LONGEST RELATIONSHIP YOU'VE EVER BEEN IN?: I've never had a real relationship, there was one girl I went out with four times over the space of about two months.
57.IF YES DO YOU REMEMBER THE NAME?: I should hope so. Kristina.


59. WHY?: I think they live longer than a fly, and they have a much cooler life, and they don't eat shit.
61.IF YOU COULD NAME THE ISLAND, WHAT WOULD YOU CALL IT?: I don't know, I'd have to think about it.

Don't try to fix me, I'm not broken.

Hooray! No more Lupin III on Cartoon Network! They took it off and put Cowboy Bebop back on. Or I guess they did, that's the way it was last night.

I bought the Evanescence cd the other day, it rocks. I think this is the only cd I own that I like every single song on it. Even on the best cds there's at least one song I don't like that much. I do usually skip the second track on this cd, that song from the Daredevil movie, but not because I don't like it, just because I've heard it ten million times and am getting sick of it. It's like the only song they play on the radio anymore. One time I was flipping through the stations, and three of the four stations I have programmed into the buttons on my car radio were playing the song at the same time. It's a cool song, but I'm just sick of hearing it.

Work sucks, I hate work, I have to get ready in just a few minutes. At least I don't have to work with Ashley tonight, I hate her, everyone hates her. I have to work with her tomorrow night though. I worked with Bonita last night. She's cool. She gave me this tiny little rubber frog she got from some vending machine or something. She said she'd been trying to give it away for a couple of days, but no one would take it. It's really tiny, barely half an inch long, but really detailed, it's kinda cool.

My mom saw one of those tv commercials for Zoloft, or one of those depression medicines. It was all talking about Social Anxiety Disorder, and so now she's figured out that that's what's wrong with me, even though I've been saying that for years. I know that's what's wrong with me. So now she's trying to get me to go get some medication for it. But I don't want medication for it, that's why I never went to the psychiatrist years ago like I had been planning, I knew they'd just give me pills. I don't want to take pills, I shouldn't have to take pills just to live a normal life like everyone else, I should be able to do it on my own. Actually I have been thinking about it though, I've got to do something. I can't live like this much longer, I have to do something about it.

Cool, The Fifth Element is on. That's one of my favorite movies. I have it on tape and have seen it dozens of times. Mila Jovovich is hot.

Here's the lyrics to one of my favorite songs from the Evanescence cd, it's a slower song, not a rock song like the others. It's called Hello.

playground school bell rings again
rain clouds come to play again
has no one told you she's not breathing?
hello i'm your mind giving you someone to talk to

if i smile and don't believe
soon i know i'll wake from this dream
don't try to fix me i'm not broken
hello i'm the lie living for you so you can hide
don't cry

suddenly i know i'm not sleeping
hello i'm still here
all that's left of yesterday


Sunday, August 10, 2003

Dude, what the fuck. I'm getting more and more hits every week. The last couple of weeks I've been getting almost 100 a week, and now I've had about 80 in the last four days.

Man, it's late, 2:00 AM, I don't know why I'm up this late, I'm tired, and I was wanting to try to wake up a little earlier than usual tomorrow.

I'm listening to The Eminem Show, Eminem is one of the few rappers I like. I hate rap, but this album is great.

As soon as the album ends, I'm going to bed, and that's in about 3 minutes.

Common sense isn't so common.

Saturday, August 09, 2003

"I killed them. I killed them all. They're dead. Every single one of them. And not just the men... but the women... and the children too. They're like animals, and I slaughtered them like animals!"

I just got done re-enacting that scene from Star Wars Episode II. I was playing Knights of the Old Republic, and just killed an entire village of Sand People. I killed something like 50 od them. There weren't any children, but there was a few women, and I killed them too. I could've opted for a peaceful solution, I initially snuck in using a disguise, some Sand People clothes I got off of one I killed out in the desert, but once I got into the village they could tell up close that I wasn't a real Sand Person, but I had a droid that could speak the Sand People language, and he translated for me, and they were very surprised that I would take any kind of non-violent interest in them, and eventually made a deal. The cheiftain said that if I'd bring them some moisture vaporators they'd move their settlement further out into the desert, and stop attacking the people of Anchorhead. But I didn't feel like going to all this trouble of finding moisture vaporators and probably having to pay for them, plus, the Sand People had some Jawa slaves I needed to rescue, and if they'd just moved they would have taken their slaves with them, so in the end, I just ran back in and killed them all.

So yeah, my guy, who's named Hando Kahn, is a Dark Jedi. He's not extremely evil yet, he's just begun his corruption by the dark side, but I'm working on turning him evil quickly. He's evil enough I got a Gamorrhean raiding party to turn tail and run off into the desert just by threatening them. He is wearing Dark Jedi robes I got from some Dark Jedi he killed, and is using two light sabers, one in each hand, both red.

I love this game.

My toes are fine today, they don't hurt at all. They didn't even hurt yesterday. The doctor said they'd hurt, and recommended I take Aleve or Advil, so as soon as I got home from the doctor I took one Aleve. I haven't taken anything since. I took the bandages off today, the doctor said to just keep them on about 24 hours. They don't even look that bad. Of course, I haven't worn shoes or been on my feet much since then, so it might hurt if I try to wear shoes, or stand up for long periods of time, like at work or something. Luckily I don't work until Monday, so hopefully they'll be good by then. I'm hoping to leave the house for a little while tomorrow, so I'll know tomorrow if shoes are gonna hurt or not.

Man, I can't believe it's 4:00 already, I've been awake since 11:00 but it only seems like I've been awake a couple of hours.

"Luminous beings are we, not this crude matter." -- Yoda

Friday, August 08, 2003

Well, no work for me today after all, or tomorrow either. I went to the doctor this morning and he went ahead and cut out my ingrown toenails, so I have to stay off them, and not wear shoes for a couple of days. I was actually hoping this would happen. You know you hate your job when you'd rather have your toenails cut off than go to work. The worst part of the procedure was the anasthesia shots. They gave me two shots in each toe, right in the knuckle of the toe, it hurt like hell.

Well, I'm gonna go now, I'm watching Star Wars.

Man, Luke sure is a whiny little bitch in the beginning.

Nobody's innocent once their mother has left the room.

Thursday, August 07, 2003

Well, I didn't get to go to the doctor today. They said they were all booked up for the day. But I have an appointment for tomorrow morning at 9:00 AM, which means I'm going to have to get up at like 7:30. Fuck, that's early, and then I have to work a nine and a half hour shift at work.

It's too damn hot in here. Even with the AC running all day it's still 80 degrees in the house, at 9:00 PM.

I just got done playing Knights of the Old Republic for about 7 hours. I love that game.

Cool, a show is coming on on the Discovery Channel all about what the Earth would be like if it had no moon. And it's narrated by Patrick Stewart from Star Trek. Hmm, they claim that if there was no moon, life would never have evolved.

Here are some more cool links I've found the last few days:

Shakespearean Insulter Do I really need to explain this one?

Programming Language Inventor, or Serial Killer? A little flash animation quiz that shows you pictures of people, and you have to decide if they are programmers, or serial killers.

Charles Manson Tamagotchi Remember those Tamagotchi digital-pet things? I used to have a couple of those. This tamagotchi allows you to own and care for Charles Manson.

The Radioactive Boy Scout A true story from Harper's Magazine about a boy scout who made a nuclear reactor out of aluminum foil and duct tape in the shed behind his house.

Honda's New Accord This is that incredibly cool Honda commerical, I think it originally showed during the super bowl, where all the car parts form this huge, insanely complicated Rube Goldberg contraption? I only saw it once, but it's the coolest commercial ever made. A very long download, but well worth it.

Paul Really is Dead Back in the 60s when the Beatles' album Abbey Road came out, people claime dthat the cover image contained symbols that meant that Paul McCartney was dead, many people actually believed this. Here are some people who still believe it. They say that Paul McCartney died in 1966 and was replaced by a look-alike, who, to this day, is still pretending to be Paul McCartney. They offer forensic evidence to back up their claims, and, I hate to say it, but some of their arguments actually raise some good points.

Brother Ceto and the Big Lie A true sign of the end times. One of the most disturbing books ever written. A children's book that is supposed to introduce very young children to the joys of being abducted by aliens. Yes, I'm serious, this is a real book.

Crop Circles in Late July 2003 Shows pictures of recent crop circles from around the world.

Program Details for Experiments in the Revival of Organisms This disturbing film records the successful experiments in the resuscitation of life to dead animals (dogs), as conducted by Dr. S.S. Bryukhonenko at the Institute of Experimental Physiology and Therapy, Voronezh, U.S.S.R. Director: D.I. Yashin. Camera: E.V. Kashina. Narrator: Professor Walter B. Cannon. Introduced by Professor J.B.S. Haldane.

Web of Pain And now, the scariest link of all. My old site! This site was created back in 1998/99, when I was 18, and going through my goth/suicidal/manic-depressive stage, and hasn't been updated in about 4 years. Unfortunately most of the links and graphics don't work anymore. I really must go back and fix it some time, as it was a pretty cool site, especially the graphics, most of which were made by me. The Johnny the Homicidal Maniac/Johnen Vasquez fan site was especially cool, and, at that time, was one of the biggest and best of the relatively few JTHM fan sites. Unfortunately, this area of the site has suffered the biggest casualties, and hardly any of it works. Still, you should check out this area if you are a fan Johnen Vasquez (the guy who went on to make Invader Zim). At the very least you should go to this site and check out my story "The World Collapsed Early Sunday Morning." Which is probably the best thing I've ever written. And, if I remember correctly, was one of the last things I was ever able to write. Looking back at this old site reminds me of the way my writing and verbal skills used to be, before they stagnated.

It took me almost two hours to write this post.

"Beware when you exorcise your demons, lest you exorcise the best part of yourself" -- Nietzsche

Wednesday, August 06, 2003

Hmmm...very interesting horoscope I got today:

Sagittarius(November 22 - December 21)
It can get pretty intense today as you feel the rug pulled out from under you. But you are in a fight-back mood and you’re not going to idly stand by as reality slips from your grip. The problem is that you’re not going to win this one in a power play. It’s going to take finesse. Step back from the engagement and pretend that you are a spiritual master. Once you’ve visualized the higher path, you’ll know what to do.

General Daily Overview
The Moon remains in fiery and inspirational Sagittarius today, symbolizing our need to expand beyond our current reality. This is a Moon that needs to learn, explore, philosophize and dream. And a dreaming day it is! Venus, the planet of love and desire, moves into tense opposition with Neptune, the planet of fantasy and spirituality. Expect reality to become whatever you imagine. We can walk through the day as if we never fully woke up. Be careful about deceiving yourself, but be ready to soften into the beauty that surrounds you.

Well, the other prison still never has called. I'm probably gonna call them tomorrow and find out why. They said they'd call one way or the other, whether they hired me or not.

Dick Cavett: Why do you insist on calling policemen "pigs?"
Abbie Hoffman: 'cause I can't call 'em cocksuckers on Television.

Tuesday, August 05, 2003

An Excerpt from Goethe's Faust, Part I

A Street

Enter FAUST and MARGARETE, who walks past him.

Faust: My lovely young lady, may I perhaps venture
to give you my arm and be your escort?
Margarete: I'm not a young lady, or lovely either,
and need no escort to get home.

Freeing her arm, she leaves.

Faust: By God, that girl is a real beauty!
I've never seen one quite like her.
She is all modesty and virtue,
yet there's a bit of pertness too.
As long as I live I won't forget
those glowing cheeks and ruby lips!
Even the way she lowered her eyes
is stamped forever on my heart;
as for the brusqueness of her manner,
that was especially delightful!

Enter Mephistopheles.

Faust: You must get me that girl, I tell you.
Mephistopheles: Which one?
Faust: The one that just went by.
Mephistopheles: What, her? She is returning from confession;
the priest absolved her of all sin --
I crept up close to the confessional.
She is an innocent, and so much so
that she had nothing to confess;
over that girl I have no power.
Faust: She's over fourteen, isn't she!
Mephistopheles: You're talking like Jack Reprobate;
he covets every pretty flower,
and fancies there's no honest favor
which can't be plucked if he but tries;
that isn't always so, however.
Faust: My dear professor Dogmatist,
you may spare me your moral lessons!
And let me tell you very bluntly,
unless that sweet young thing is lying
within my arms this very night,
at the stroke of twelve we part forever.
Mephistopheles: Consider practicalities!
I'll need at least a good two weeks
to ferret out an opportune occasion.
Faust: If I could have a simple girl like that
alone for seven hours, to seduce her
I would not need the devil's help.
Mephistopheles: You're almost talking like a Frenchman now,
but please don't think of this as mere frustration!
What good is pleasure when it's rushed?
It's much less satisfactory
than when in various ways before,
and with all sorts of fuss and bother,
you've shaped her up a bit and got her ready--
this can be learned from many foreign novels.
Faust: I don't need to whet my appetite.
Mephistopheles: No more of this tomfoolery!
I'm telling you once and for all
that with this pretty child it is no use to hurry.
You won't take anything by storm;
we must resort to strategy.
Faust: Get me some souvenir of her!
Bring me to where my angel sleeps!
Get me a kerchief from her breast,
a garter to excite my passion!
Mephistopheles: To prove to you that I am eager
to be of service when you suffer,
let us not waste another moment--
I'll take you to her room this very day.
Faust: And shall I see her, have her?
Mephistopheles: No!
She will be at a neighbor's house.
You can, while she's away, be there alone
and, in the aura that her presence sheds,
anticipate the taste of future joy.
Faust: Can we go now?
Mephistopheles: It's still too soon.
Faust: Then get a present for me to take her! [Exit
Mephistopheles: Presents right off? Good work! He'll have success!
I know some excellent locations
with lots of ancient buried treasure.
I'd better do a little looking. [Exit

"All children are born geniuses. 9,999 out of every 10,000 are swiftly, inadvertently, degeniused by grown-ups." -- Buckminster Fuller

Monday, August 04, 2003

You hear these reports on TV sometimes talking about "The average American eats this much_____ a year." I want to know where they get their statistics, everyone of those reports I've ever heard sounds like a lie to me. I don't know anyone that eats that much of anything. For example, a couple of days ago I heard that the average american eats 48 pints of ice cream a year. I don't know about anyone else, maybe it's just my family, but my family, a family of four, probably barely eats 48 pints a year, all of us combined. Then they just said that the average American eats 58 quarts of popcorn a year. Not me, not my family. I admit we eat much less popcorn than most people, but that still sounds like a lot. That's more than a quart a week. I haven't had popcorn in months. Most people eat popcorn at the movies though. I hardly ever go to the movies. I only go to the movies maybe five times a year, at the most, and I never get popcorn.

Well, it doesn't look like I'm gonna get the prison job. I went for an interview at Joseph Harp on Friday, and they said they'd call me today, to let me know whether they're gonna hire me or not. Today I also went in for an interview at L.A.R.C., the Lexington Assessment and Relocation Center, and they also said they'd call me tonight, and let me know. Joseph Harp called, and said they aren't going to hire me. Of the two places it was the one I would have rather worked at. LARC never called at all, maybe they'll call tomorrow. I don't know. Looks like I'm gonna be stuck working at Carl's and living with my parents for a while longer. I don't know what to do now, I don't know what job to try for next. I don't know why I can never get a job anywhere.

So, since I couldn't leave the house today, because I was waiting on the phone calls, I played Knights of the Old Republic for another 6 hours. I actually wanted to leave the house today, but couldn't.

I'm probably gonna go to the doctor early tomorrow morning. One of my big toes is infected pretty bad. They've both been doing that a lot the last six months or so. I think both the toenails are ingrown. So the doctor's gonna have to cut them out or something. He'll probably give me anti-biotics or something first, and wait until the infection goes away before he cuts into it. Which is good, because I'm supposed to work tomorrow and the next day, and if he did cut my toenails out, I wouldn't be able to work for a few days.

Well, I'm gonna go now. It's time for my midnight jack-off. Not really. But that is a pretty good idea.

"As for you, my galvanized friend, you want a heart. You don't know how
lucky you are not to have one. Hearts will never be practical until they can
be made unbreakable." --The Wizard of Oz

Sunday, August 03, 2003

Aqua Teen Hunger Force! I want a Meatwad t-shirt. Man, this is the most disturbing episode I've ever seen.

Aqua Teen Hunger Force Lyrics:

my name iz...
the mic rulah
the old schoolah
you wanna trip,
I'll bring it to ya

Frylock and I'm on top
rock you like a cop
Meatwad you're up next
with your knock-knock

Meatwad make the money see
Meatwad get the honeys G
Drivin in my car,
livin' like a star
Ice on my fingers and my toes
and I'm a Taurus

ha ha, check it, uh, check-check it, yeah
'cuz we are tha Aqua Teenz
make the homeys say ho
'n the girlies wanna scream

'cuz we are tha Aqua Teenz
make the homeys say ho
'n the girlies wanna scream
Aqua Teen Hunger Force
numba one in tha hood, G

"The mutation from terrestrial to interstellar life must be made, because the womb planet itself is going to blow up within a few billion years... Planet Earth is a stepping stone on our time-trip through the galaxy. Life has to get its seed-self off the planet to survive...
"There are also some among us who are bored with the amniotic level of mentation on this planet and look up in hopes of finding someone entertaining to talk to." -- Timothy Leary, Ph.D., and L. Wayne Brenner, "Terra II"

Saturday, August 02, 2003

This happened about a week ago, but I'm just getting around to mentioning it: For some reason over a space of two days, there were lots of 666's in my life. I mentioned on my blog that my hit counter read 1666, then the next day when I parked my car at work, I noticed the little odometer on my car, the reset-able distance measuring one, had stopped on 666 miles, then when I got home from work that night a friend I hadn't seen since high school had called because he was back in town for a week, and left his phone number, and the last four digits were 6668. So, another strange example of synchronicity. I have no idea what it means though.

After I wrote that post last night, I didn't go to bed like I said I was going to, instead I played Knights of the Old Republic some more. In all I played it for about ten hours yesterday.

Here are some cool links I've found in the last few days. This is one of the coolest optical illusions I've ever seen. It takes a long time to load, but it's really cool.

Cut the Mullet One of the most annoying songs I've ever heard, but it's pretty funny. And it's about a mullet.

Stereo Images This person has figured out how to use animated gifs to create three dimensional pictures. They look really cool, and they're pretty cool photos too, very artistic. Warning, some nudity.

San Francisco Weekly -- The Wizard of Ass Has Spoken! A newspaper story about Hal Robins, a very cool underground comic book artist, and fellow member of the Church of the SubGenius.

The Complete Illustrated Catalog of Acme Products Shows a picture of every Acme product ever shown in Warner Brother's cartoons. Takes a while to load. Yes, now YOU can date Jesus!

SlackMan A cool Pac Man like video game. Run around the office eating donuts and Xeroxing your butt, while avoiding the Boss and his little butt-kissing lackeys.

"THE WWW FAN WEB PAGE FOR TUBCAT THE FATTEST KITTY EVA :D!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Fucking Hilarious. A huge, fat-ass cat. I hope the spelling mistakes and typos on this page were done on purpose, no one could possibly be that stupid.

Well, I have a few more, but I have to get ready for work now. Fuck, I have to work a nine-and-a-half hour shift.

If you can't say "Fuck", then you can't say "Fuck the Government." -- Lenny Bruce

Friday, August 01, 2003

I just got done playing Knights of the Old Republic for about nine hours. It's really cool. The other day Robert described it as Morrowind, with a little bit of Final Fantasy, set in the Star Wars Universe, which is a pretty accurate description of it.

I went in for my interview at one of the prisons today. I don't know if it went so well. I will find out on Monday whether I'm going to get hired or not. Also Monday I have an interview at the other prison. I just hope the first one doesn't call while I'm gone.

I'm too tired to write any more right now, I didn't get much sleep last night. I had to get up at 8:00 this morning to get ready for the interview.

"People are more violently opposed to fur than leather, because it is easier to harrass rich women than it is motorcycle gangs." - Bumper Sticker