Strange Things are Afoot at the Circle K.

Thursday, July 10, 2003

Robert Anton Wilson doesn't just write "fiction." He also has a book called "Everything is Under Control: Conspiracies, Cults, and Cover-Ups" which is sort of an encyclopedia of, as the titles suggests, conspiracies, cults, and cover-ups. Here's an interesting entry. According to this entry, I need to call these people. The words in the brackets, [] are my responses, not part of the article.

Abductees Anonymous

This organization serves as a support group for persons who believe that extraterrestrials have kidnapped and sexually molested them -- one of the largest subgroups in the recovered memory community, trailing behind only the incest survivors and the Satanic abuse survivors. While the whole theory and therapy of the "recovered memory" movement has come under increasing criticism in recent years, it still has many believers, who sincerely think they their therapists helped them remember (not fantasize) incidents of incest, cannibalism, coprophilia, sadomasochism, rape, infant sacrifice, and/or evil Greys -- a race of detached scientific investigators and/or sexual monsters who come from outer space and have engaged in genetic experiments or sexual assault on helpless humans.

AbAnon says nothing about the incest and satanism yarns, also created or discovered by the same hypnotic techniques, but insists that "many millions" have had the abduction experience and even if you can't personally remember it -- or especially if you can't remember it -- this interstellar rape may have happened to you. They have a list of 52 symptoms that will help you decide if indeed it did happen to you. A few significant signs from this list:

-- Have unusual scars or marks with no possible explanation on how you received them, especially if you have an emotional reaction to them (i.e., small scoop indentation, straight line scar, scars in roof of mouth, in nose, behind or in ears, or genitals, etc.).

-- Have a cosmic awareness, an interest in ecology, environment, or vegetarianism, or are very socially conscious. [Yes, on parts of that.]

-- Have inexplicably strong fears or phobias (i.e., heights, snakes, spiders, large insects, certain sounds, bright lights, your personal security, or being alone.). [Yes, sorta, I wouldn't call them inexplicably strong, just normal.]

-- Have the feeling of being watched much of the time, especially at night. [No, but I often like to imagine people are secretly watching my life, like "The Truman Show," or something.]

-- Have awoken with a soreness in your genitals, which cannot be explained. [Ummm, not unexplained, no.]

-- Have seen a hooded figure in or near your home, especially next to your bed. [Nope.]

-- Have had frequent or sporadic ringing in your ears, especially in one ear. [All the time, but lots of people do.]

-- Have insomnia or sleep disorders that are puzzling you. [I sleep too much. I guess that would be considered a sleep disorder.]

-- Have the feeling that you are going crazy for even thinking about these sorts of things. [No, I just think this list is stupid.]

-- Have had a difficult time trusting other people, especially authority figures. [Who in this modern world doesn't?]

-- Have had dreams of destruction or catastrophe. [Dreams: Not really. Fantasies: Yes.]

-- Have many of these traits but can't remember anything about an abduction or alien encounter. [Yes. Though I did see a UFO once, but I have never been abducted that I know of.]

Those who have these stigmata or most of them might contact Abductees Anonymous through the website below.

On the other hand, many of the same (or similar) signs may indicate that you are another incest survivor or Satanic abuse survivor; better consult those entries, too. Can't be too careful these days.

Ok, so that's it for the article. Not that I don't believe in Aliens or anything, I do, but this looks pretty stupid to me. That list of "symptoms" consists mostly of things that nearly everyone experiences, at least occasionally. Especially that list of fears thing. Of course, they explain that the reason these are so common is because this has happened to millions of people. Yeah, I doubt it. Though they may be on to something. However I doubt it is Aliens doing all this. It's probably some earthly group or government experimenting on people, and then starting cover-up organizations like these so the few people who do figure out they are being experimented on will think that it is the work of aliens, and also become classified as crazies who no one will take seriously.

And, behold, thusly was the law formulated: Imposition of Order = Escalation of Disorder! -- HBT; The Gospel According to Fred, 1:6