Strange Things are Afoot at the Circle K.

Wednesday, October 09, 2002

Hmmm, I've posted a lot of links today. (By the time I actually get this typed and posted it will probably be yesterday, though.) I think from now on, Tuesday will be links day. At least for awhile, I'm not good at sticking to schedules. (In my head I just pronounced that "Shedule" like the British sometimes do.)

Anyway, now I have something special for you. I am proud to present the words of Kerry Wendell Thornley.

Kerry Wendell Thornley Says:
Relax in the Safety of Your Own Delusions.

Tell yourself that I speak cryptic whenever I get the chance, that I like talking to you in the gibberish I've had to invent in order to find out anything at all from you about what you, and the pigs whose asses you perpetually kiss, are doing with MY LIFE. Just keep right on believing that what I order for breakfast is relevant, whereas the plain intent of my words is not. Listen to everything the agents of Gerald Ford and Richard Nixon and Henry Kissinger and Howard Hunt and Meyer Lansky tell you about what I actually mean to say, and pay no attention to the fact that I am a witness to the John Kennedy and Lee Oswald murders.

Just keep right on believing that I am the one who is a racist and a puritan and they, on the other hand, are psychedelic hippie radicals with flowers in their hair.

Relax, it all has to do with karma and reincarnation -- don't think about it and maybe it will go away. Electro-chemical mind control doesn't have anything to do with it. Nothing that terrible could ever happen in this country. And even if it did, it wouldn't happen to you. So go right on believing it is all metaphysical. What the hell? You might as well believe something. Right?

Never mind where the Urantia Foundation gets its money or where the World-Wide Church of God gets its power! What the hell business is that of yours? Worry, instead, about whether or not your next-door neighbor is into ass fucking, or whether or not his wife masturbates. Why make a half-assed fool out of yourself when you can be a complete fool, instead? In addition to worrying about the sex lives of strangers you might want to also take up quarreling about religion.

Since the whole world is going to hell in a handbasket, since the U.S. Constitution now serves a purely decorative purpose, and since your whole nation is being enslaved by an elite technocracy of Neo-Nazis disguised as Bolsheviks, why the hell not squander all your time gossiping? Go right ahead -- keep it up until every human being who differs from you racially, psychologically, sexually, ideologically, or religiously hates your no-good busy-body guts.

You don't need them to help you throw off the ruling class. There isn't any such thing as a ruling class in this country anyway. If there was, then you wouldn't be able to vote and thereby elect your own oppressors, right?

And even if there is a ruling class, they don't have the goddamned Russian government working for them as a bunch of quasi-fascist scabs and, in any case, they certainly don't want to insert silicone chips into the bases of your skulls and thereby manipulate your behavior. Things like that are too paranoid to be true.

So relax. If that is difficult, trying to repeat this mantra over and over to yourself will help: LEE HARVEY OSWALD, ACTING ALONE, MURDERED PRESIDENT KENNEDY; LEE HARVEY OSWALD, ACTING ALONE, MURDERED PRESIDENT KENNEDY...But you have to say it with conviction if you want it to work. Does that sound difficult? Where is your faith? How do you expect to accomplish anything without faith?

That's all right. Don't worry about anything I say here. Everyone knows that I speak very mysteriously at all times, seeming to say one thing while actually saying something else. Just ask Gerald Ford or any retired member of the CIA Psychological and Political Warfare Unit.

Actually I'm just a paranoid. You see, John F. Kennedy and Lee Oswald actually both died of natural causes, and the country has been in beautiful shape ever since then anyhow.