Strange Things are Afoot at the Circle K.: September 2002

Monday, September 30, 2002

The newpaper today is full of stories about something that I hate. Corporate Sponsorship. There's nothing wrong with that, usually. But what I hate is the way everything is named after corporations now.

A few weeks ago they changed the name of OU's football field. It's been Owen Field for years and years, I don't know if it's always been Owen Field, but it has been for as long as my mom can remember. Now it's called "The Gaylord Family Memorial Field," or some shit like that. Because the rich Gaylord family donated something like 12.5 million dollars to the school. (E.K. Gaylord was the founder of the Daily Oklahoman Newspaper.) A lot of people around here are mad about the name change, many of them refusing to even acknowledge it. Most of the local tv sports reporters are even still calling it Owen Field in their reports.

Also recently they built a new convention center/concert hall thing in Oklahoma City. It's called the Ford Center.

In today's newspaper there is a story about the State Fair which just ended Sunday. The picture that goes along with the picture is captioned, "With the Shell Space Tower in the background, the AT&T Wireless Services Monorail carries passengers Sunday on the final day of the Oklahoma State Fair." AT&T Wireless Services Monorail? That's outrageous.

There's another story in Today's paper about the new Capitol Dome. The Oklahoma State Capitol Building was the only state capitol building not to have a dome on it. Now they have just added a dome to it, amid much pomp and ceremony. The new story today is about how they are going to inscribe in six inch letters, the names of 13 corporate and private sponsors who helped pay for all this in a "ring of honor" on the inside rim of the dome so their names can be seen by all visitors to the capitol building. Names such as Phillips Petroleum Co., and General Motors.

I'm thinking they should start calling it the "capital" building.

The Fed-Ex Orange bowl, the Ford Center, The AT&T Wireless Services Monorail. Before long everything will be named after a corporate sponsor. Children will be tattooed with things like, "This Child brought to you by the good people at General Motors."

I fully agree with what was said in the movie "Fight Club." (Which is a great movie, by the way, one of my favorites.) "When deep-space exploration ramps up, it'll be the corporations that name everything. The IBM Stellarsphere, The Microsoft Galaxy, Planet Starbucks."

I'm surprised it hasn't happened already.

Turmoil at work...but what else is new?

Okay, so the other day Jimmy quit. He just suddenly left for Iowa to be near his son, didn't say goodbye to anyone. Doesn't bother me. Yeah, Jimmy was pretty cool, but I still don't care that much.

Alicia's freaking out about it, though. She liked Jimmy, a lot, and something like this happened to her before. Some guy she liked left her suddenly without saying goodbye, and it really hurt her. She has yet to get over it, and now it's happened again. She wouldn't even beleive it at first. She walked around all afternoon at work repeating, "he has to work tomorrow at 2. He has to show up. He'll be here, he has to work tomorrow at 2..." Then she accused us of making it up. She said it was a joke and we were all in on it. Doing it just to hurt her. Well fuck you too, Alicia.

I'm sorry Alicia, I know it probably hurt you more than I can know, but still, you're taking it a little too far. Dressing like a widow? Wearing all black for a week? That's fucking ridiculous.

You're not the only person who's ever been hurt.

Sunday, September 29, 2002

"Mommy, mommy! What are those doggies doing?"
"Ummm, they're playing leapfrog, Timmy."

So anyway, I'm just walking down the street today, and this guy yells, "What the hell are you doing in the middle of the street, you fucking moron?" Not really, but that would have been great. I've been in a weird mood all day today. I was talking to myself even more than usual at work tonight. I was saying very strange things, weird things, and most of the time I was talking in some kind of strange spanish accent or something. I sounded kind of like Strong Bad from Homestar

Okay, so I finished "Queen of the Damned," and now I'm almost finished with "Tale of the Body Thief." That's still almost all I'm doing, is reading.

I just found out my great-grandmother was named Mary Magdalene Underwood. That's great, I love that. My great-grandmother was named after a prostitute that hung around with Jesus. If I ever have a daughter I want to name her Mary Magdalene. Either that or Alexis Nicole. Wait, I wonder if this was the Irish woman? One of my great-grandmothers on my father's side was full blood Irish. I inherited all the Irish traits: red hair, pasty white skin, temper. Except I apparently didn't inherit the Irish drinking qualities. I'm drunk after two drinks. I don't drink very often though.

On the bad side I also found out that most of my relatives came from Tennesee between 1910 and 1920. I've always been interested in the genealogy of my family, but none of my immediate family knows hardly anything about anyone past my grandparents. I just found out a few weeks ago that some relative, a cousin or something, has been doing all this research for a few years now and she's really good at it, she's traced the name back to like the year 1000 or something like that. I've known that for years, most of the websites tell me that the name "Underwood" is a celtic name dating back to somewhere around 1100 or 1200. She also gave me a lot of information and told me I could start helping her look stuff up, and told me how to go about it. So I may do a little of that in what little free time I have.

Ok, I'm going to read now.

By the way, Timmy's mom is a lying bitch.

Thursday, September 26, 2002

The other night I was lying in bed half asleep when a realization came to me. It came to me like a dream, and the whole thing seemed very clear and simple, but, like a dream, when I woke it soon faded, and now the precise words fail me, and I have trouble writing it down, but I will do my best.

Overseas there are many great and beautiful cities, some of them ancient, some of them merely old. Rome, Paris, Venice, London, and countless others. America does not. America never will.

The reason America has none now is simple, we are too young.

There are several reasons why we never will. First, America is a disposable society. We love disposable things, they make life easier. And our buildings themselves have become disposable. When a building becomes run down, or has outlived it's usefulness we tear it down, and build a new building. There are a few buildings, or small areas of a town that are protected, but those are not enough, the buildings are not beautiful enough. America has no style of architecture, most of our protected buildings are made in the style of others, these beautiful cities in Europe. Our "early american" style will not last the ages, it is made of wood. Wood rots and burns, and it simply is not as magnificent or beautiful as the other cities. These great cities of the world are great things made of stone, made with incredible skill to last forever. American buildings are simply made to last for as long as they should.

This is why even in the future no one will come to America to see its "great cities." The future New York will be futuristic. It will probably looks somethign similar to the way it is portrayed in movies, a huge, glittering city of buildings that touch the sky. Everything will be new, except for maybe the cliche burnt-out, run-down, old industrial area. There will be no such things as "American ruins." No great ruins to rival those of the Greeks and Romans. American buildings are relatively flimsy things made mostly of metal beams, and glass, and sheetrock. So even if one day New York became ruins, they would not last the centuries to become great and ancient thinkgs. Metal rusts and falls apart, glass breaks. After a couple hundred years American ruins would consist of a few rusted steel beams pointing to the sky, and leaning at strange angles, all half buried in a pile of dust and sand. After another couple of centuries, nothing. But maybe these brief ruins would be considered beautiful by the people of the future, because it will be all they have. By that time the ancient ruins of the Greeks, Romans, and Egyptians will be gone, destroyed by acid rain. Even now these great monuments that have stood for thousands of years are rapidly dissappearing. You can return yearly and see the further damage, the erosion of these great things. So see them now people, before we destroy them all.

SubSpecies 23

Tuesday, September 24, 2002

Well, now I have finished "The Vampire Lestat," and have read about 50 pages of "The Queen of the Damned." My life the last few days has centered around reading, and probably will for quite some time, possibly until I have read the whole series. I will try to write something interesting on Thursday, since I am off work that day.

I was supposed to work from 4 to 9 today, but they called and said they needed me to come to work at 2 instead, because three people called in today. Today and yesterday I've had it pretty easy because I am having to train someone, and that means all I have to do is stand around and tell him what to do. I hate training people though. This isn't so bad, though, because it's not a new guy, it's Jimmy. He's worked there for a while now, but he was on backline, a cook, and now he's being trained to do frontline, cleaning the lobby and working the registers.

My eyes are killing me, from all the reading I guess. But for some reason they don't start to bother me until I go to work. I could hardly see to drive home, and I can barely type now. Looking at the computer screen always makes them bad. I put my glasses on, but they aren't helping much. Maybe I shouldn't read so much tonight, maybe I should only read a couple of hundred pages.

I have an extremely fast reading rate. I took a reading class in high school, I didn't need it, i took it because it would be an easy A. The main thing we did in class was use these computer programs that displayed text at a variable rate of speed, and then answer questions on what we read. The point was to increase our reading speed while still having a good comprehension. Most of the people in the class had a top speed of 150 words per minute with a 75 to 80% comprehension rate. Those were the good ones. Some of the people couldn't even break 100 words per minute. Some of the people that graduated high school with me could barely read at all. Oklahoma has one of the lowest literacy rates in the country. It might even be THE lowest. I think so, they were talking about it on the news a few weeks ago. At the beginning of the course I was reading 250 to 300 words per minute. By the end of the course I was up to 450 WPM, with a 80 to 85% comprehension rate. The comprehension tests weren't very fair, they usually only had 5 or 10 questions, so miss one question and you could get an 80 or 90%.

I've always been a fantastic reader. According to the test the school gave me I was reading at a third-grade level when I entered kindergarten, and by third-grade I was reading college level books. Reading and English were always my best areas on those state tests they'd give us, and on the ACT. I never took the SAT, but on the ACT I made a 35 out of 36 on the reading section, and a 32 on the English section. My overall score was 29. It was my math score of 21 that brought it down so far.

I have to go now, my eyes are too bad.

Sunday, September 22, 2002

I haven't felt much like writing the last couple of nights, I've been too preoccupied by my reading. I've read almost half of "The Vampire Lestat," today alone. As I mentioned the other night, Vampires seem to be popping up everywhere. The Garfield comic in the paper yesterday mentioned Amazonian Vampire Moths, and now "Blade" is on tv.

Other than reading nothing has happened today. I was off work, and went to the mall, but didn't find anything I wanted. Yesterday I bought a couple of cds, the "Queen of the Damned" soundtrack, and the Stone Sour album.

I'm going to go read some more now.


Saturday, September 21, 2002

As you may, or may not have noticed, I didn't make a post yesterday. Like you even care, I hate you. Don't start with me. Anyway, I was too tired last night to make a post. It was a long, busy night at work last night because it was our town's homecoming. God, I hate football. I hate it, hate it, hate it.

Hmmm, I just heard a nice tidbit of wisdom on the "Justice League" cartoon. "Don't heckle the supervillian,"

I just saw the weirdest cartoon on Fox. It was yet another Japanese, Pokemon-like cartoon. It was called "Fighting Foodons." It was the Chefs vs. the Evil Gluttons or something like that. And they summoned these food-related creatures to fight. One was called Sir Fried Rice-er, and had a plate of fried rice for a head, and his opponent was Sir Dumpling, who had a dumpling for a head. And to power them up they used magic toppings. This one guy was like "Nothing like some Wasabi to heat things up." And the wasabi made Sir Dumpling extremely powerful. And even the people had food names. One kid was named Pie Tin. It was a very weird cartoon, but it was cool, I'm going to have to watch it again next Saturday.

Ok, last time I was planning on telling about my weird sister. I'm pretty weird, but my sister freaks even me out sometimes. She learned most of it from me, but soon surpassed me in weirdness. The other day she was telling me and my mom about how she was talking to herself at school the other day, and people were like, "Who are you talking to?" And she said, "Oh, just Satan, and the other voices in my head." And when someone says her name, she'll say "Yes, Satan?" She learned that from me, I learned it from Ace Ventura. She's also been heavily influenced by the cartoon "Cow and Chicken," which used to be our favorite show. One time, when she was about 8 or 9, she was playing with one of her dolls, pretending it was her little girl. She was dressing it, and combing its hair and stuff like that, and pretending she was getting it ready for picture day at school. But the doll didn't want to get her picture taken, and kept complaining. Finally my sister threw the doll across the room and yelled, "Get over there and have your picture taken like a MAN!" It was great, we still laugh about that.

Ummm, yeah. I have to go to work later. Poo. I hate my job. My job sucks. Actually, I wouldn't mind it that much, if it piad better. I've been working there for 6 and a half years, and I only get paid $6.15 an hour. And now that they've cut hours, I'm going to get even less. I only work like 25 hours this week.

I finished "Interview with the Vampire," and now I'm working on "The Vampire Lestat." What's with all the vampires? I'm reading the Vampire books, and then last night at work Curtis, one of the managers, and some of his friends that were up there talking to him, were reading the "Vampire: The Masquerade" handbook, and talking about playing. It seems like there was some other vampire related incident yesterday, but I don't remember it now. I was wondering yesterday, can vampires use artificial tanning methods to make their skin look more normal, not so pale? Not just sun lamps, but also those lotions that are supposed to make your skin tan, but half the time turn you orange. I'll have to put something about that in my next Walter story. I wrote a vampire story once, about Walter, the world's most non-stereotypical vampire. Rather than being a handsome young man, as most of these vampires seem to be, he's stuck for eternity in the body of a fat, balding, forty year old man, and all the insecurities that go with it. He lives in the suburbs, has a job working the graveyard shift at Wal-Mart, and drives one of those station wagons with the wood paneled sides. He has a job because he has to pay child support. He realizes that he could skip out on the payments now, but he loves his children and will help support them, "Until the day they are both dead, and I am still middle-aged." He wears t-shirts and sweat pants. And his name is Walter, certainly not a vampire name. I had planned on making this a series of stories, but so far I've only written one, and that was some time ago. It is like 12 pages though, the longest thing I've ever written.

Anyway, I think that's about it for now. I'll probably write more later. Here's the mandatory Alicia link.


Thursday, September 19, 2002

It never ends. Today I found out that they have Scooby Doo dog treats, and Scooby Doo breakfast cereal. It seems I must destroy the world to save it from itself.

My sister's birthday is Wednesday, she'll be 12, I think. So today I took her to the bookstore and let her pick out a couple of books and I bought them for her. She got a large astrology book, all about Libra for the year 2002. Which is a waste of money, since the year is almost over. She also got a "Lord of the Rings" journal to write in.

I have now seen and done EVERYTHING on, so now maybe I'll be able to get something done.

I had planned to write more tonight, but I don't feel like it now. Go away.


Wednesday, September 18, 2002

Holy Crap. There's a new Scooby Doo series on the WB. I must find out who is behind this and kill him/her/it/them. But I won't just kill them, no. First I will make their life a living hell, and then I will destroy all that they hold sacred and dear. They will suffer greatly for their crimes against humanity. Come on people, it's time to let Scooby die. But no, instead of relegating him to the dustbins of history, people have to keep bringing him back with countless reruns and new forms, and new merchandise and movies. I hate Scooby Doo. I HATE Scooby Doo.

Speaking of people who need to die, tonight was a very annoying night at work. We had lots of stupid, rude customers. Even more than usual. One old lady who looked like she was probably 90 decided to be a bitch because she didn't want to pay 27 cents for a water. Then there was some cross-eyed fat lady who smelled so bad I could hardly take her order. She had a filthy boy-child with her, who looked like he'd been rolling in soggy Oreo cookies. His legs were covered in sores of some sort, it looked like they might have been burns. Over all he was a very diseased looking child. He still smelled better than she did though.

Alicia didn't work tonight, but she came up there for a few minutes. She was upset about having to work on Homecoming, she wanted to go very much. If I had been off that night I would have worked for her, but I have to work that night too. It bothers me to see her upset like that. She's my friend and I care about her very much. I wish there was something I could do to help.

I got off work really early tonight, at about 7:25. I only worked about 3 hours, taking off the half-hour for my break. They are cutting everyone's hours because profits have been bad or something. So now I'm going to be making even less money. I've been working there almost 7 years, and I only make $6.15 an hour. Pitiful. I still have it a lot better than most of the other people that work there. I still live with my parents, because I can't afford to move out, but most of the people I work with have their own place, and are having a really hard time paying bills.

See that little rating thing there at the bottom of the page people? It's not just there for decoration. Rate me! Uhh, but only if it's a good rating. And then, when you're done rating my site, go to Alicia's site and read it, and then give her some good ratings too! And then, send me money! Lots of it! Ummm, email me, and I'll tell you how to send it to me. And then, uhhh, send me more money! Money, and valuables, and jewelry, and expensive electronics equipment, and your children! Send me your children! No wait, keep the kids, I hate kids. Unless...maybe I could make an army of sugar-crazed Harry Potter fanatics, and finally take over the world! I better write that one down for future research.

Well, I guess that's about it, idiots. I guess I'll go read some more. I'm already over half done with "Interview with the Vampire." I should finish it tomorrow.


Tuesday, September 17, 2002

Alicia wanted me to write a post tonight about her breasts. She wanted me to obsess over them and stuff. But how can I write a post about them when I've never seen them? So, unless I get to examine them sometime soon, I'm not going to write about them. So there. NO POST FOR YOU! Holy crap.

God damn, this site is funny. Alicia sent me the link yesterday, and since then I've been on it every chance I get. It's got some funny as hell flash animations. I had to pry myself away from the site to come write this post.

Not much to tell, other than that. Work was annoying, kinda busy, but I still got off a little early. Alicia was upset tonight, she's having trouble in math. I wanted to help her, but I couldn't, math is my one bad subject, especially Algebra. She is in Algebra 2, I never even took that. I wanted to help her, it made me feel bad that I couldn't, she was really upset about it, and some other things as well. I could tell she felt really bad, but I was no help. I'm not any good at trying to make people feel better. I usually say the wrong thing and make it worse. I'm the king of saying the wrong thing at the wrong time.

I started reading "Interview with the Vampire" again last night, it's like the third time I've read it. I'm going to start the series over. So far, all I've read is "Interview," and "The Vampire Lestat." I've owned "Queen of the Damned" for a year or two, but I never read it. I met Anne Rice at book signing once. Except back then I'd never heard of her. I wish I had been a fan of her then, I would love to meet her now.

It's an interesting story. Somehow my friend, Chris, had conned my English teacher (this was 11th grade, I think) into letting us do this for a grade. Everyone in the class had to do a major project and two minor projects over the unit we were doing. I think that year the subject was "Fahrenheit 451," by Ray Bradbury. Or was this the year we were doing King Arthur? Anyway, Mrs. Brewer was a big Anne Rice fan, and Anne Rice was doing a book signing at a bookstore for her new book, "The Tale of the Body Thief." Damn, she writes fast, that was only like five years ago, and she's written a lot of books since then. She's like Stephen King or something. Chris had somehow worked it out so that if we went and bought the book, and got it signed, and gave it to Mrs. Brewer, she would count it as a project and give us an A for it.

So we went up there, and I was getting concerned. The name of the book was "The Tale of the Body Thief," and there were all these weirdos in the line, and then Anne Rice herself showed up in a coffin. I was started to get really worried, almost afraid. I was a different person then, I would love all that now. So we waited in the line, and got the book signed and left, and then on the way home we had a wreck. Luckily it was in Randy's parent's car, and no one was hurt, and none of us really liked Randy anyway, so we weren't concerned about the car. Actually the wreck was pretty fun. I was in the front seat and the guys in back kept hitting the lever to make my seat recline, and then they'd attack me while I was in this awkward position. Randy got distracted, and went like a couple of inches over the line of the right lane, and onto the shoulder. Just a couple of inches. And I was like, "Hey Randy, you might want to stay on the road." And he looks up and says, "Oh shit!" and just turns the wheel as hard as he can to the left, and we go into a spin. We spin down the highway at like 80, for half a mile, and finally hit a street light. It was kinda fun actually, spinning around like that while my seat was laying back. The streetlight fell over across the highway, and other people kept running over it. A car full of teenage girls hit it and it messed up their car, and they had to pull over, and they all started yelling at us and stuff. One of them called their father and he arrived and he was like a lawyer or something. Anyway the rest of us came out fine, no one was hurt, and the only one who had to be concerned about anything was Randy.

Ok, I'm gonna go back to


Monday, September 16, 2002

Oh my god, I just about had a heart attack. When I went to post that huge post down there, it gave me an error message and the post disappeared! I thought it was gone for good and had a big ol' hissy fit because I thought I was going to have to retype it all, and recode all those damn links! But then I went to the site, and the post was there. For some reason it's not showing up on my program thing, but it is on here. I am so releived.

Now I have to go clean my shorts.


Oklahoma sucks. No, I mean it. Oklahoma really is horrible. I live in a small town of something like 4000-5000 people. And what's really bad about that is that we are one of the bigger towns in the area, unless you go north, where there is Norman, and Oklahoma city. People from other towns come here for their shopping and things like that, because their towns are even worse. Lexington, the town that is right next to us doesn't even have any fast food chains or anything, that's how small it is. Most of the people from Lexington just live there, they do all their shopping and working and stuff like that here in Purcell.

Oklahoma is part of the bible belt, with a heavy religious influence. There's probably 15 churches in this town. I can look out my window and see three. How fucking pathetic is that? The main denominations in town are Baptist, Church of Christ, and Pentacostal and Pentacostal Holiness, in that order probably. Though most of the Baptists around here aren't Southern Baptist, most of them are so strict they aren't much better. They don't allow dancing or partying or anything like that. When my parents were kids there was, for a short time, a dance hall for the teenagers. The Baptists quickly shut it down, and now it's like a senior citizen center, where the old people go to have a good time, and dance.

Pentacostal Holiness are even stricter, but they don't force the whole town to be the way they think it should be, like the Baptists do. For those of you who don't know, Pentacostal Holiness are just like one step up from being Amish. They aren't supposed to watch TV or anything like that, the man have to always wear long sleeves and the women have to wear dresses and can't cut their hair, and crap like that. Most of the people around here now are just Pentacostal, which isn't quite as strict, or just relaxed Pentacostal Holiness. Most of them watch TV for example.

On top of all that, since there is such a religious influence, this is what's known as a "dry county." That means the beer is like three point instead of six, (or whatever it is, I don't drink beer) and all the liquor stores have to close at 9 pm. Basically it's really hard to get alcohol. There are no clubs around here, if you want to go to a club you have to drive to Oklahoma City, which is like 40 miles away. I think there are a couple of clubs in Norman, which is only 20 miles away, but they aren't very good. I don't go to clubs though, because I'm too shy, and I don't like to go to them alone, and I have no friends. But more on that some other time, that's not the point of this post.

Tattoos parlors are illegal in Oklahoma. To legally get a tattoo you have to drive to Texas, and a lot of people do. The Texas tattoo places even advertise on the radio here. So the tattoo parlors set up shop just inside the Texas state border.

You also can't get decent pornography in Oklahoma, you have to drive to Texas for that too. You can get the magazines here, but the movies are all "cable version." Basically an R-rated porno. Like what they show on Cinemax late at night. To get real porn you have to drive to Texas. So, like the tattoo parlors, there are several Adult Video shops on I-35 right after you enter Texas. One of them is right on the border, it's like 100 feet from the Red River, the border between Oklahoma and Texas. I'll admit, I've driven all the way to Texas solely to buy porn. I'm not the only one though, I know several guys that have done the same thing. It's a six hour drive there and back. Long way to go for porn.

New Subject:

it took me four hours to write the above because Alicia sent me a link for a cool site,, and I spent a long time there. It's a cool site with lots of hilarious flash movies. Another great site for Flash movies is Check out any movie by Niel Ciceraga, such as this one, Kung Fu Phil. Wow, that's a lot of links, and it's been years since I did any html coding, so I've forgotten most of it.

Well, I think that's about enough for now. I'm off today and there's a lot I was wanting to get done today, and I'm already behind because of Alicia. I'm going to to check into making an online store, like I've been meaning to for almost two years now. And then I'm going to brush up on my html and start coding a web site, since my old one has been defunct for a couple of years now. It's still there, but Geocities has gone through so many buyouts and other changes since that none of the links are referenced right anymore, and most of the links and pictures no longer work. The text is still there, but that's about it. There's a lot of text though. Lots of little tiny white text on a black background. I haven't updated it in three or four years. Here is my Website. Oy! All these links!

That is all, you may go now.


No Puppy! NOOOOOOOOOO! (Several minutes of louds explosion noises) No Puppy! You've set off a nuclear chain reaction over Washington D.C.! I told you not to touch that button!

Hmmm, my posts haven't been very good the last couple of days. I've been having a hard time writing something good. I've been really tired the last few days. Right now I'm really tired, and I have a headache, so don't expect anything great out of this post either.

I just saw an episode of City Confidential on A&E about Madalyn Murray O'Hair. How come I've never heard of this woman?! I mean, things like that are my area of expertise. This woman was the founder of the American Atheists and known as the most hated woman in America. On this show they kept calling her "the embodiment of evil" and stuff like that because of the stuff she used to say about religion. That's ridiculous! The things she said were relatively tame, I say much worse things than that all the time!

Tonight at work was really boring. It was really slow, no customers hardly. I didn't think the night was ever going to end. Luckily it was so slow I got to go home an hour early.

I think I'm going to end this now, my heart's just not in it tonight.


Sunday, September 15, 2002

Belch. Mmmmmm...noodle cup. These pork flavored ones aren't as good as the chicken ones. I really like the Smack brand Creamy Chicken flavored noodle cups. The shrimp ones are nasty though, and I like shrimp.

And now, off with you! Leave me to my noodle cup! Bah!


Welcome to Hell...Please wait to be seated.

It was a pretty busy night at work tonight. There was a football game tonight, OU vs. Texas, and we are the first town past Norman, (where the game was) on the way back to Texas. So after the game we got pretty busy. There was some rain tonight, not enough, but some. This year has made me very angry, we haven't had a decent thunderstorm this Spring or Summer. I love rain, especially thunderstorms, the worse the storm, the better. But for some reason we haven't had any this year. This is Tornado alley, we are supposed to have horrible storms in the Spring! It got really dark, but basically all it did was a hard shower. In Norman, about 20 miles north, there was so much lightning they stopped the game for almost an hour. 51 minutes, I think they said. OU won, 68 to 0. We had the game on the radio at work, otherwise I wouldn't have known, because I hate football.

Last night at work a guy came through the drive-through, he looked like a giant, fat, dirty Leprechaun. He wasn't wearing Leprechaun clothes, but something about his face, red hair, and red goatee made me think of a Leprechaun.

This blog has already lasted longer than my previous one. I had one a year or so ago, but I only made two posts and never came back, and now the site I had it on no longer exists. Well, it exists, but it's no longer a blog service. Back when I had this other blog I'd never even heard of a blog. This site called itself an "online diary." I had never heard of a blog until a couple of months ago.

I just realized that there was no email link or anything anywhere on this page, so I added one over there on the left. If for some reason you feel the need to email me, go ahead. I may even write back, but don't get your hopes up. If you are an attractive, single female, in the central Oklahoma area, email me at once, and send pictures.


Saturday, September 14, 2002

Well well well, what's all this then?

The "party" last night, ended up being an almost complete failure. Hardly anyone showed up. It was at Daniel and Olivia's house, and when I got there, they were the only one's there. A few calls were made and it was determined that some people weren't coming after all, and that some others probably would. A little while longer passed, and some more calls were made and it was determined that now some people who said they were coming weren't coming after all. People such as Alicia. You were supposed to be there, dammit. Daniel was upset with you, especially after he spent $15 dollars on the bottle of Hot Damn you wanted. Also I was the one that had to go to the store to obtain that bottle. I also spent $22 on Bacardi Silver, and then no one was there, so I was a little upset too.

So it looked like it was going to be just me, Daniel, Olivia, and Phillip. But Crystal ended up coming with Phillip after all, and then Shawn showed up for like the last half hour or so. It ended up being pretty boring, we just had a few drinks and sat around watching "Silence of the Hams." Crystal had a confused look on her face most of the movie, I think it was a little too weird for her. Everyone else seemed to think it was funny.

This, then, is pretty much the extent of my social life. A small event like this once in a great while. I have basically no social life, and even less of a love life. So this blog may end up being pretty boring unless I keep it interesting with lots of movie reviews, weird stories, offensive editorials and stuff like that.

I have to get ready for work now. I'll probably write more later.


Friday, September 13, 2002

Well, it would appear good ol' AOL has decided to fuck up once again. I seem to be having tremendous difficulty getting it to do the most basic of tasks. "Ha ha," you say, "that's what you get for using AOL." Shut up, I've heard that plenty of times before. I can get online just fine, but as soon as I try to access a web site, or open a piece of mail, it acts like it is loading, but it just sits there loading forever, and I have to press cmd+option+escape (I'm using a Mac) to force the program to close.

"But wait," you say, "if your internet access isn't working, then how are you posting to your Blog?" Simple, and you should know all about being simple, you stupid bastard. I finally found that I could connect to America Online and not press anything, and then open up Explorer and use that, and it would work just fine, as long as I don't try to use AOL for anything. So, in the meantime, I'm using this method.

Wow, three posts today. Well, I guess that will make up for tomorrow, when I probably won't get to make any posts tomorrow, unless I do it in the morning or early afternoon, before I go to work. The reason I probably won't post is I work the late shift at work tomorrow, which means I wont get off until 11:30, unless it's slow and I get to leave early. I work at Carl's Jr. I don't think I've mentioned that before, if so, get over it. That's a fast food place, if you didn't know. Some places don't have Carl's Jr, so, better safe than sorry. Anyway, after work me and some other people, I hesitate to call some of them "friends," are going over to Daniel's house to have a party, if you want to call it that. Basically just a few people sitting around playing drinking games. Daniel said we may also watch my "Silence of the Hams" video too. But anyway, it will be too late when I get back, and I'll probably be slightly drunk, so I probably won't feel like writing a post then.

"Boo hoo," you say, "he's not gonna make a post. Oh, I'm just heartbroken." Shut up, don't make me kill you, bitch.


Thursday, September 12, 2002

News Flash! UPS just delivered my latest order. Well, about 30 minutes ago. I've already read both the books I ordered. They're very small books. One was a comic book actually. I bought a comic book called "The Cat With a Really Big Head...and one other story that isn't as good," by Roman Dirge, the creator of the comic book "Lenore," and one of the writers for "Invader Zim." It was pretty good, certainly worth the $3 bucks I paid for it. I mainly ordered it to complete my collection or his comic books.

The other book I ordered is called "Creepy Susie and 13 Other Tragic Tales for Troubled Children," by Angus Oblong, who is, yes, the guy that does "The Oblongs" on Adult Swim on Cartoon Network. I've never had the chance to watch that show, but it looks hilarious. If it's anything like this book it must be great. I love this book! It's so sick and twisted, definitely not for children. In fact several of the stories have sexual imagery or phrases. Such as "Susie's vagina tingled at the thought of Eric Twinklebutt." All the stories are sick and twisted, just the way I like them. It's rather like Tim Burton's book of poems "The Melancholy Death of Oyster Boy," which I also own. Except these stories are even more twisted. They are all about crazy and/or deformed people, and most of them end with someone dying. Stories such as, Creepy Susie, Mary Had a Little Chainsaw, Milo's Disorder, Rosie's Crazy Mother, The Siamese Quadruplets, Emily Amputee, and Dick and Muffy. It's great! Great I tell you! Buy it! BUY IT NOW!

Gotta go, Dragonball is on, and then Dragonball Z.


So, I'm sitting here eating a Maruchan Instant Lunch noodle cup thing, and the John Candy movie "Canadian Bacon" is playing on HBO. An interesting movie, I'd heard of it before but didn't know what it was about. Ok, so Alan Alda is the president, and his popularity rating is going down and they decide to try to start the cold war back up again to help his ratings. But Russia doesn't want to because it was the cold war spending that put their country in the condition it's in today. So America has to look elsewhere for an enemy. They go through all their old lists and all the old enemies are dead. One interesting comment, interesting especially since this is the day after the anniversary of the Sept. 11th attacks, is that the president suggests international terrorists as their new enemy, and the Defense Secretary says something along the lines of, "Are you kidding? We're not going to start missle production and everything back up just to combat a few guys with exploding cars." So eventually they decide to start a war with Canada, after there's a news report on TV about John Candy's character starting a Canadian vs. American riot after he commented that "Canadian beer sure does suck."

My noodle cup is finally cool enough to eat. Yum, I love these things. Alicia is obsessed with Ramen, I like Ramen too, but I think I like these things better. Anyway, back to the movie.

This movie reminds me of the South Park movie, with its war on Canada. It uses some similar jokes. They keep saying stuff like, "Canada isn't even a real country, it's more like the 51st state." And at one point they start showing Anti-Canada propaganda on TV to make people hate the Canadians. One of the news reporters says, "Imagine your children pledging allegiance to the maple leaf, mayonnaise on everything, winter 11 months a year, and Anne Murray all day."

I missed the middle of the movie. I saw the beginning, and the last 20 minutes or so, but during the middle I went to the store to buy these noodle cups. I wish I would have seen all of it, it looked very interesting, and, despite being a comedy, it was also political, which is another good point.

Oh cool, now Hamtaro is on Cartoon Network, I love this show. I love almost all Japanese cartoons. Hmmm, from politics to Hamtaro. I have a hamster, it looks kinda like Hamtaro. It's name is Harvey, even though it's a female. I named her after Weird Al's "Harvey the Wonder Hamster." I seldom call her Harvey, though. I call her something different almost everytime I see her. There's Harvey, Harvard, Harvmeister, and one of my favorites, Dr. Harvalonious. Lately I usually call her Harvard, which my mom started, she calls her "Harvard, the world's only college educated hamster." My mom's pretty weird too.

Warning, Warning. Strange weapons are approaching!

In other movie news my order from came in a couple of days ago. "Silence of the Hams." That's one of my favorite movies, but it's hard to find arround here. I've never seen a copy of it for sale. I got a used copy of it off for about $13 with shipping and handling.

If you've never seen this movie, you should. Especially if you're a fan of Airplane and the Leslie Neilsen movies and things like that. This movie, written, directed, and also acted in by Ezzio Greggio, is a very strange, wacky parody. It's more of a parody of "Psycho" than "Silence of the Lambs." It features Dom DeLuise as Dr. Animal the Cannibal Pizza, and Billy Zane as FBI agent Jo Dee Fostar. Jo Dee Fostar is trying to get Dr. Animal to tell him where to find the psycho killer, who he thinks killed his girlfriend, who, like in Psycho, stole money from her boss and ended up at a Motel and was killed in the shower.

It's hard to pick a favorite scene, but I think it would be the scene where Jo is talking to Dr. Animal and Dr. Animal says "Tell me Clair-ass, what is your most disturbing, decadent, depraved, defoliated, decotaged, deformed, dried, dream?" And Jo sobs and says, "Ham." And Dr. Animal says, "Was the ham...silent?" And Jo starts crying, and Animal continues, "Ham can be very quiet. Very quiet. Unless it's falling down the stairs. Then it goes boom boom boom-ti-boom bum bam. Celery can be very loud. Apples, louder. Unless you have apple sauce...which goes very well with ham." And Jo sobs, "Stop! Please, no more questions!"

I'm cracking up just thinking about it.


Wednesday, September 11, 2002

Ok, so, I think tonight's post will be a little different from last night's. A little calmer, not so offensive. Though being offensive is what it's all about. I'm not much in the mood for that tonight. I just got home from work and don't feel much like ranting right now. I had thought about making tonight's post "Where was God on September 11th," but I think I'll save that for another night. Perhaps tomorrow. I'm off tomorrow and I'll have more spare time to come up with something good.

My friend and coworker, Alicia got sent home from school to change her shirt today. She was wearing a t-shirt that said "Nsuck," instead of "Nsync," and someone complained that it "offended them." What the hell? This is high school, and the word "suck" offended someone? They talked like it was a student that complained, and not a teacher or something. Instead of going home and changing her shirt, though, she just wrote, "My shirt offended someone," on a piece of masking tape and stuck it over the words on her shirt and wore it like that the rest of the day. That was such a smartass thing to do, I'm proud of her. I told her I wish I had a shirt that said "My shirt offended someone," on it. She was a little pissed about the whole thing. She said she's going to start a riot at school tomorrow. I told her that if she does to call me, and I'll gladly help. I'd love to get involved in a free-speech riot at a school.

Byt the way, I'm not in high school with her. I'm 22, I graduated from high school in '98. I've dropped out of college twice since then. More on that some other time. Right now I'm pretty tired, and my eyes are bothering me. I have an eye problem that comes and goes. It's mainly eye strain from so much computer use. Anyway, I'm gonna end this now.


September 10th, 2002. Well, it just turned midnight, so it's technically the 11th. But, just this once, I'm not going to get technical, and I'm still going to proceed like it's the 10th. Anyway, let's begin again.

September 10th, 2002. The day before the anniversary of the terrorist attacks on America. And I say...who gives a fuck? I'm sick of hearing about it! I was sick of hearing about it a week after it happened. I liked the coverage of it at first, because it was entertaining. But after a few days of it, it got boring! The same thing happened with the Murrah Building bombing in Oklahoma, from which I live only about 30 or 40 miles away. I didn't care about that, and I don't care about the WTC. No one I know was involved in either of them, no one I know was hurt. And as long as none of my close friends or I are hurt, I don't give a fuck how many people the terrorists kill. I'm not worried about it. I live in the middle of nowhere, there's not much chance they're going to bomb anything here. The only thing I'm worried about is Anthrax, or something else chemical or biological.

They say there's a good chance of another attack of some kind tomorrow, (or today if you want to be really anal about it). Now I'm not hoping they attack, I'm not going that far, but if they do, let's just say I'll be watching the news coverage of it for the entertainment value.

"We'll never forget." Hell no, we'll never forget, they wont let us! It's been a year people, get over it! People die every day! It's been a year and they're still talking about it! Constantly! It makes me want to kick a hole through the TV every time they say the words "September 11th," "World Trade Center," or "Osama bin Laden." Everytime I see a sign, or a poster, or a bumper sticker, or anything else that says, "God Bless America," or "These colors don't run," or anything else like that, I just want to scream, and rip the sign down, or run the car off the road. But I just got a new car, I don't want to ruin it with bloodstains so soon after I got it. It's a very nice car. Yes, I care about my car more than I care about, oh, just about everyone!

In order to protect myself from the assload of September 11th memorial programming they'll be shitting onto us from almost every channel tommorrow, (okay, okay, TODAY!) I'm not turning my TV off of the Cartoon Network (where it nearly always is anyway).

Yeah, yeah. I know my views are extremely unpopular, and I'm going to get tons of hate mail, and possibly be arrested by the government sponsored terrorist group known as the Office of Homeland Defense, or whatever they're called. Because after all, after the September 11th attacks, free speech, and certain other freedoms, had to be taken away from us, "For our own safety," they say. If you can figure that one out, please explain it to me. On second thought, don't. If that makes sense to you, you're obviously the kind of idiot that I don't want to talk to. The kind of idiot that makes me want to ruin my new car.

So, by now you hate me. Good. I hate you too, and I've never even met you.

And tomorrow, when you're watching your little September 11th shows and crying and hating the terrorists like a good little American sheep, remember what Adolf Hitler said: "The death of one is a tragedy. The death of millions is just a statistic." For ultimately, this is how the victims of the September 11th attacks will be remembered, as just a statistic. A mere number, on the page of a history book, scribbled on by a bored child. All the loved ones lost in this attack will be reduced to merely this. And I will laugh.

Don't waste your time sending me hate mail. I won't even read it. Just think of me as the "shock jock" of the Internet.